I'm sure it's been done before, things that your MIL has said....

[calvemjoe]

Just got a text off MIL saying "You're booked in for an eyebrow shape on tuesday at 3.30."

I wasn't aware they were that bad! Tell me things that your MIL has said to make me feel better.

On my wedding day MIL said "now don't leave it too long before having children, you're not getting any younger you know".

I was 25.

i have no parents and mine said 'shes like a dog from the dogs home she needs lots of love'

that was actually one of the nicer things lol

she also once said to me (my dh is older than me and was a real mummys boy) after id cooked a huge roast dinner for us all.....good job u can cook u wont always look like a lolita ........

Not this MIL, she is a marvel.

Previous MIL - well she just didn't like me (I am adorable BTW lol)

I rang to say 'thank you' for some bed lined she had brought. 'Not for you, for him'. Charming.

Called me a slag for having ironing out when they called round unexpectedly. Nice.

When I first moved in with him, she told people in the town that he had bought a house and he was financing it by taking in a lodger

Good riddance to her and to ExBF

(more than a decade ago, I'm not bitter, oh no. Bitch)

Windy, OMG!

Lying in hospital after a D and C for a miscarriage, opened my eyes to find EMIL knitting. First words out of her mouth were 'you won't be able to trap him now', she meant her son who was my husband and we had planned the baby.

She was like the old crones who knitted beside the guillotene(sp)!

Cocolepew
I hope you shoved her knitting needles up her arse. Sideways.

Jeez what do your DH's or DP's say about their mothers saying stuff like that?

patted me on the hips 2 months after my 3rd baby was born and said "look at all that padding, you'll never lose that now!".

She's not exactly Kate Moss iykwim!!

I actually threw up on her

Cocolepew that's awful

Oh well done cocolepew, the old bat totally deserved a good vomming!

Not the throwing up, that's really really good!

If I was able to vomit on her at will, and not just after operations, I'd be the size of Kate Moss, by now!

On arrival of ds (to DH who phoned from delivery room):
"Now you have some one more important in your life than me".
On arrival of dd (to DH- a slow learner- who phoned from the delivery room) "If you call her that she will sound like something from the back streets of Belfast."

MIL told my boss at my wedding that I wouldn't be back to work for long as I was going to have babies and quit.

She let herself into our house when we were out and helped herself to things, because "it was dh's house and what is his is mine"

After I'd cooked a lovely 3 course meal from scratch and with much difficulty as dh has food allergies I produced a carton of custard to go with the home made apple pie and she said 'oh, I've never used ready made custard before, it's actually ok'. grr, I had to use ready made because it was soya custard!
Very trivial compared to others' stories but did make me a bit - I actually love her really but these comments and 'well-meaning' advice/interference drives me mad!

MIL phoned to sing "Happy Birthday" and when I just said "oh thanks", said "oh we are feeling sorry for ourselves aren't we, you're using that little girly voice."
I'd just come around from the anesthetic from an ectopic where I lost my last chance of having children.

OH and she knew.

telling me giving ds a bottle of formula before he went to bed would make him sleep through the night.! Not shutting the bathroom door whilst ds was in the bath would make him come down with illness. Constantly tells me to be careful with ds. But my fave was when dh had hit me in the face with a de oderant can. She could only say that he was nervous because of the heat and i should not wind him up. Its her fault her son is such a twunt and i hope it makes her happy to know her son will soon be single.