All my life I've been painfully shy, caused massess of problems when I was a teenager (depression & so on) but learned to cope with it & get by with no/very few friends.
6 years ago I moved a long way to move in with dp, started new job, etc. & knew no-one apart from him. Fell pregnant very quickly & got severe pnd. Since then my self-esteem has been so low that despite desperately wanting to make friends I have found it impossible to believe anyone would want to be friends with me and am now very lonely & isolated. Luckily my children don't take after me and are very social and confident but eventually it's going to have an effect on them, surely.
I feel it most now when I wait for ds after school - I daren't talk to the other mums so end up just watching ds. They must think I'm very unfriendly & over-protective of my child, but I'm not!! Just convinced that I'm too boring/stupid/physically repulsive for them to talk to.
How do I get over myself? I know I'm not the only person in the world to have problems with shyness!
What doesn't help is the dreadful state of our house & garden - really manky & unkept (and the garden is too unsafe for children to play in unsupervised). DP refuses to let me do anything about it - he wants to do it himself, which is admirable but will never happen.
Hope someone answers this - I can't remember when I've been so honest with myself all in one go Back to stiff upper lip & denial!
PS - I have been offered the chance to join a self-help group to boost confidence using CBT but want some common-sense advice from 'normal' people