Moving to Calicut, India for 2 Years – Advice Needed!

[KeralaBoundMum]

Hi everyone,
We are planning to relocate to Kerala, for two years. We have lived in the UK for 15 years but really wanted a change. We have two daughters currently in Year 6 and Year 9. A few friends who moved to India recommended looking at schools that follow the IGCSE syllabus so that’s what we are considering.
We always wanted to move back to India and settle there but life happened, and now we feel like if we don’t do it now, we never will. The younger one is excited about the move but my elder daughter is quite anxious-she is worried about missing her friends and making new ones in the new school.
My biggest concern is whether this is the right decision, especially since it’s only for a short period. How will this affect my daughters' studies, particularly my older one? She’ll be doing her GCSEs in two years. She has the option to continue with French but she is keen to learn Hindi instead. She picks up languages quickly, but I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks at this stage. Would switching to Hindi now be a bad idea?
On the practical side, both my husband and I can work from home in India, but he will need to travel back to the UK for a month every fourth month. We have strong family ties and a deep attachment to India, and honestly, we miss our family so badly. This is a big reason why we want to make the move. Lifestylewise, we’ll have a big house, maids, and every luxury we need, so in that sense life will be much more comfortable than in the UK. My husband has some health issues, which is another factor we are considering. That said, we do have a good friends network in the UK too, and we are wondering if this back-and-forth will make things harder.
Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice? Would love to hear your thoughts!

It seems odd to me to be moving for only 2 years, can I ask what the thinking behind that it? In your circumstances I’d either relocate permanently or stay
in the UK until the kids were finished secondary education.

Isn't this very poor timing with your children's education? It would be a no for me.

You sound more worried about your children forming an attachment to India, do you think you have left it a bit late?

Thank you so much for your response. Yes I do think it’s a bit late, we have been thinking about it for years and didn’t happen. The plan is to stay in Kerala for two years and return to the UK for my daughters A levels and university.

Honestly wait until they’re at uni - it’s not fair to move them back and forth especially for the eldest in yr 9. I could understand if there was a massive life changing opportunity waiting for you there but you wanting a change can wait a few more years.

To add, I moved abroad with my family aged 13 and it was deeply unsettling. We were only there for a year but it took the whole year to settle. It then completely threw me going back to school in the UK and I spent a lot of time playing catch up. We had to move for my mothers job but it was a really hard time for me at that age.

I think it will be fine. It’s a nice experience for them and learn something different in life. Life is short and if your husband has health issues it might be the last time you have this chance as a family.

Your children will consider if it’s beneficial in the future.

Go for it! The opportunity to experience another country/ culture is a wonderful enrichment. Your daughters sounds bright, so long as the eldest is on track to get the gcses she needs to get onto the A level courses this won't be an issue. She has 2 years to settle before sitting her exams.

My concern would be around her return to the UK to start A levels. Making new friends after you've left school is harder and friends are important for socialising at that age. When you return will she be able to rejoin her peer group taking A levels at 6th form? Or would she be trying to integrate into a new group in a new place at 17?

If it's just because you want to, and there's no compelling reason then I would wait. She's about to move into a really important phase for her education and it's a big change if it's unnecessary.

If you come back for DD's A levels, you run the risk of having to pay international fees for uni as you won't have been resident here for the past three years, unless she takes a gap year.

Honestly? Really bad timing for a temporary move for your eldest, society there is very different so fitting in could be incredibly difficult, plus she may never forgive you if she hates it. I know a family who returned to India with slightly younger kids and it was a disaster (different city, outskirts of Delhi) because they just were too outgoing and "grown up for age" not subservient enough for society there, school was awful too, rote learning and really old fashioned deference to staff which her dc refused to cooperate with so quickly got labelled naughty, no other parents would let them integrate into friendship groups as they thought they were a bad influence ... ironically these were well behaved, bright, quiet kids in the uk, standards were so different there! Oh and my friends loved the idea of household staff too until they realised how exploited maids are there.

I think it sounds wonderful. Be prepared for your children to want to stay at their new school through to a-level though with their new friends, and not want to go back to the UK, but then go to uni in the UK, hitting you with international fees.

I think your main risk is that 2 years will turn into 5 or 6, or a permanent move. Which sounds fine, but possibly expensive when it comes up uni!

Although uni doesn’t have to happen in the UK, I suppose. Singapore, Hong Kong (both considerably closer) or the US might all make as much sense by then, and perhaps be cheaper too.

@mitogoshigg

Oh and my friends loved the idea of household staff too until they realised how exploited maids are there.

I don't understand this comment.
Yes maids are exploited but your friends didn't need to exploit their help.

I have lived in many places where I have had house-help. I have always treated them well and paid over what the normal wages are.

Switching to Hindi isn’t a bad idea if she’s motivated, especially since she learns languages quickly, but staying consistent at this stage can reduce risk.
You can also explore tools like unicode to krutidev later to support her learning smoothly.

So your plan is to take them out of the UK education system, for the eldest to need to sit GCSE equivalent abroad and for their dad to be gone 25% of the time living in UK, to return them to the UK education system for A levels and youngest to do GCSE in UK system? Why the back and forth?

Personally I think they back and forth will be really unsettling and I'd stay in the UK until youngest finishes A levels or move and stay there.

I suspect you won't come back after two years, you will be too comfortable in the big house with servants and happy being close to relatives. After living there two years your DD should be able to do Hindi without too much extra studying, I would study the French and do Hindi as an extra exam subject.