Lost long term friend

[DaphneDahlia]

A friend and I have been friends for all of our lives, 60 years. We grew up together and most of the time were like siblings.
Recently they fell out with their extended family and some of my extended family too. Our families know each other and the fall out was over the same thing.
I knew that it was going to be hard to be neutral in the row. But I really wanted to maintain relationships to my extended family and my friend. During this time, my friend appeared to be offended at something they thought me and my spouse had said about one of their adult children. This was not up held and totally misinterpreted. We explained and I thought this would be the end of it.
I have attempted many times to meet or to talk on the phone but friend always makes an excuse for not being able to meet or talk. After about 7 failed attempts, I gave up and sent a text to say I'm always available to meet for a coffee.
Since this time, nothing. They are no contact with their extended family. We have continued to send Birthday and Christmas cards to each other. However this Christmas as per usual I sent a Christmas card and money for their 3 adult children, (as we always have done). They have sent nothing. I feel disappointed for my child as it has nothing to do with them.
Just after advice really as to how to get over this and move on. This has shaken my world. I feel devastated at losing this friend and I now feel unsafe and insecure in my other long term friendships.

I'm on far too many of these threads

but this really reminds me of a comment mum made

she said social gatherings often feel like walking on eggshells in case something gets misinterpreted.

along with the current crisis of friendships, it seems like some people are seeking offence.

all i can say is sorry this is happening. 💐

Thanks. I'm just so shocked that this has happened. I never thought we would not be friends. We were rock solid.

Does anyone else have some words of wisdom to get through this?

You have to step away emotionally.
You cannot change their feelings. Only they can do that.
You've explained. You tried to fix it. They, for their own reasons are not wanting to engage.

Keep busy, keep.occupied and the hurt will fade gently. It's horrible but they have made a decision to reduce/stop interaction.

@Pancakeflipper yes I need to keep busy. It's difficult as I am still on good terms with their family that they fell out with (tight knit Irish community). They are equally shocked and confused. I think we are all trying to lick our wounds

You probably have heard the poem by Brian A. Chalker “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” and it shows how usual it is that you won't end up being BFF with most of the people whom you befriend at some point during your life.
It points out that friendships are not more or less valuable dependant on length.
A friendship can give you joy and growth. When or if a friendship ends, you haven't lost the memories you made together.

@Crunched thanks I will look up the poem. This experience has taught me that even the most stable situation can come crashing down.