No friends, no social life

[Bee232]

Im at a point that i am actually struggling.
im a mother to a 9 month old, im 23 and have a fiance.
i havent had a friend ither than my partner for 6 years. It’s been so hard.
i did have friend when i was in school until someone lied about me that cause all my friendships to end. Which that person said she was lying but wouldnt tell anyone for obvious reasons. Ive tried rekindling, ive tried so hard to make friends. But nothing, not even mother groups. It was my birthday and the only happy birthdays i got was from a handful of family. That really hit me. Like am i really that alone? I have no one to talk to, no one to go out with, i only go out soth my partner, sometimes i just want a girl day. But i havent had a girl day in many years.
im at a breaking point where ill just sit there crying onowing no one understands me. My sisters will say they are my friends but at the same time they have their own lives and friends and kids. When i ask them if they would like to go out they cant.
i just want a friend.
i cant even text, i get bad anxiety, i never used to be like this.
what do i do ive tried everything, i do the same thing everyday. I love my daughter to bits but sometimes i just want to go out with a friend to watch a film or something, gossip etc.
im gaining weight because im comfort eating, then ill fast to do it again. My life feels like a shamble right now. I did habe a job but i had yo move so i had to leave because i dont have childcare.

Arrange childcare and get back to work asap as a first step. What are you actively doing to make friends at the moment?

Ah op that sounds really hard. Partners can be great but it can still be really lonely without a network in your life outside of them.

Do you have any childcare where you've moved to? If so could you join a club/class/hobby that you are interested in? If you're going because it's something you like doing or have always wanted to try then you automatically will have things in common with the other people there?

I went to mums and baby groups really hoping to meet new friends but honestly it was really hard, in most of them I didn't meet anyone that I felt I could connect with on more than a small talk level but I really tried to be persistent with it and tried a range of things and eventually did make a lovely mum friend.

I've recently moved as well and I know nobody outside of my family and its hard but I started work which really helped introduce me to new people. I think a lot of it is down to trying to be open, initiate the conversations, suggest going for a coffee and putting yourself out there without being scared of a rejection and then just keeping at it until you find some people.

Also I'd maybe mention it to your hv if she's supportive. She may know of other mums in your area who are also a bit isolated.

I worked in childcare I know how expensive it is, I’m not entitled to anything I’ve tried.
I’ve gone to parent groups, groups for parents under 25 etc

Ive tried, any thing I have a hobby in, there’s nothing in my area and I find child care so expensive ( I used to be a nursery assistant in a day care)
my hv tried but everytime I tried talking to the girl she said about who lives near me, she ignores me and when she comes in never even sits by me. I’ve never felt the need to post about my life anywhere but I’m struggling that much now

Don't know if this helps, but near me there was a post natal exercise class where you could bring your baby. I met a lot of good friends through that

Hi, I had my daughter at 22 and understand how you feel. Any friendships I had made through school or college naturally ended for one reason or another. When my daughter was 9 months old I worked a couple of shifts in the evening in a local pub and that really helped my confidence and enabled me to be around and socialise with other adults. Is that something you would possibly be interested in maybe too ? My partner worked a 9-5 and I started at 6pm so I didn't need paid childcare too. Is there nothing at all you could do anything hobby wise too in the evening if not a sports team you could join? Netball, for example. Does your partner have any friends with children? I used to occasionally go out and chat with my partner friends wife as her daughter was close in age to my own and we would go out together as two families for the day at the weekend sometimes and still do actually 6 years later. I think as others have posted when ive read similar threads I think you just have to put your self out there and talk to people as much as you can. I understand it's hard with anxiety , I'm also quite an anxious person but it gets easier making small talk the more you do it; the more your likely to make friends too. Also starting school (which i understand is a while away) helped too as your own child's makes friendships etc. All the best x