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Original poster

Does starting to menstruate mean you have 'become a woman'?

28 replies

JT · 29/04/2008 13:37

Curious to what people think.
On a radio discussion last week a mother rang in to say that when her daughter, aged 12 started menstruating they went out to celebrate her 'becoming a woman'.

Bearing in mind girls are starting to menstruate at much earlier ages these days is it right we label them 'women' just because they've got their periods?

yes, the biology is there but does it really make them 'a woman'

discuss

OP posts:
happystory · 29/04/2008 13:44

God no. My dd was barely 11, no way is she a 'woman' nor do I want to think of her like that.

Hecate · 29/04/2008 13:45

No. A girl is not a woman at 12, or 11, or 10 or even these days - 9.

Bollocks "Congratulations, you're a woman" er, no. You are a child going through the biological process of puberty. You are beginning to be capable of reproducing (except that would be a really bad idea at this age!).

All this empowering, congrats, have a happy period, you're a woman now stuff is cringy bollocks.

Females reach an age where the body prepares them to be able to bear young. Whoopdie do.

Psychomum5 · 29/04/2008 13:48

oh god no......altho it does make them an evil PMT.....pre-menstrual teen!!!
(or even pre-teen nowadays)

I always figured you became a woman when you had a baby.....I now realised how flawed that theory was!!!

mumblechum · 29/04/2008 13:48

Agree w. Hecate

AMumInScotland · 29/04/2008 13:50

Should we also take boys out to celebrate when they have their first wet dream?

happystory · 29/04/2008 13:52
Grin
AdamAnt · 29/04/2008 13:56

I would interpret that as the girl is in the process of becoming a woman, rather than that she has actually become a woman.

I find it sad that other posters just see menstruation as something cringey, and not worth acknowledging.

MrsMattie · 29/04/2008 13:57

No. It's the start of a long process of becoming a woman.

Hecate · 29/04/2008 14:00

Do you mean my remark about have a happy period stuff being cringy bollocks?

That's not about menstruating. That's about tearful "you're a woman now, welcome to the sisterhood, let's have a party and celebrate your womanhood" shite.

Menstruation is, well, menstruation. Unused womb lining. Fact of being female. No big deal. Not a reason to be ashamed, not a reason to break out the party poppers.

AdamAnt · 29/04/2008 14:13

Hecate - why should it be shite? If the DD and the mother both want to celebrate it, why not? You copuld argue that marriage is "just" a legal (or holy) binding of two people, so why celebrate that? Why celebrate anything?

And it is a fairly major transition to make. It's not just the shedding of womb lining. It is accompanied by waves of hormones, a changing body, a changing mind, fertility etc.

I think celebration is a far healthier approach than the opposite extreme of talking about it all in hushed tones, and referring to it as "The Curse".

morningpaper · 29/04/2008 14:15

I'd rather she saw menstruation as a rite of passage into womanhood - better than fucking a boy, or getting married, or having a baby...

Hecate · 29/04/2008 14:18

Well, I don't call it The Curse either

And I didn't get married with a big celebration as it happens. Or have a party when I got pregnant, or have the kids christened... So at least I'm consistent in my opinion that joyful, tearful celebration of normal life stuff is all meaningless shite.

morningpaper · 29/04/2008 14:19

you are just a miserable fecker

AdamAnt · 29/04/2008 14:21

Hecate - I wasn't meaning that you call it The Curse (or talk about it hushed tones) but some people do, and I think that's sad, and possibly problematic. What do you celebrate? There must be something? You don;t strike me as a dour, joyless person.

TheApprentice · 29/04/2008 14:21

When my friend started her periods, she told her Dad rather than her Mum (she was v close to her Dad) and he said congratulations and bought her a bunch of flowers! I thought that was lovely, although the thought of even mentioning the word period to my Dad makes me feel highly uncomfortable to this day!

Hecate · 29/04/2008 14:21

I am, I am, it's true
Direct descendent of ebeneezer....

Monkeytrousers · 29/04/2008 14:22

you don't become a woman till 30 surely?

AdamAnt · 29/04/2008 14:24
Hecate · 29/04/2008 14:25

If then. I'm 34 and I'm still waiting...(How do you know ??) There's never been this flash and the sudden realisation that I Am A Woman Now.

Most of the time I feel like I'm 5 years old, out in my mum's high heels, with her lipstick all over my face.

girlfrommars · 29/04/2008 14:25

Have to admit I don't get the 'celebration' thing. To me it's just a biological change. You don't celebrate pubic hair.

oiFoiF · 29/04/2008 14:26

its such a shame
whay would anyone want to celebrate it?

i hate fecking periods

Hecate · 29/04/2008 14:26

Oh yes, "Congratulations on your first brazillian". I like it.

expatinscotland · 29/04/2008 14:27

I was 11.

NOT a woman.

FFS. What an insane attitude, especially with the age of menarche decreasing worldwide.

AdamAnt · 29/04/2008 14:30

Apprentice - me too TBH. I would feel vaguely uncomfortable talking about it to my parents, but I'm pretty sure that's because they are slightly uncomfortable about it. I've taken my lead from them. And they were a long way from being my extreme of 'hushed tones / The Curse' etc.

I would much rather be a totally cringey "bring out the period bunting" parent, in the hope that DD is as unashamed of it as possible.

Monkeytrousers · 29/04/2008 14:32

You can only truiely know by going to France. The moment you get a madame and not mademoiselle you know the belle has tolled.

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