Baby Daddy Problems

[Needadvice0000]

Hi mums,
i have a 4 month old baby, and me and my baby daddy have separated a few weeks ago which has been a very difficult time for me, he now has moved back in with his mum who lives about an hours drive from me.
my ex is looking to take the baby to his mums house for a few nights but I’m not comfortable with him being away from me because he is so young, me and his mum also do not get along and she hates me which is one of the reasons why me and my ex broke up.

My ex smokes weed and also his brother is an alcoholic which makes me even more uncomfortable with allowing my son to go up there without me.

He has also threatened me many times saying he is going to take the baby and leave without telling me and that I have no choice etc.

i haven’t denied access for my ex to see our son I’ve told him he can come up anytime and see him or he can even come stay in my house but he says no.

now he is threatening me with taking me to court as I’m apparently not allowing him to see the baby.

can someone please give me advice? As I’m worried sick about court as I don’t understand why he is trying to take me to court when I haven’t denied him access

I bet he won't get his act together to go to court. If he did he'd need to show he's taken some interest in the baby's life and spent time with her in her home before demanding multiple overnights.

Ignore his threats. He isn't going to take you to court.

Probably him mum that wants access.

It would be a hard no from me while he does drugs.

Tell him to take you to court.

It's very likely he won't bother, however if he does then he can't threaten you with taking the baby because contact will be court ordered.

He's just being a bully. Ignore his threats about court, he wouldn't 'win' the right to take the baby away at his young age and with the other issues in the picture too. Keep offering reasonable contact unless you think he will do something stupid in which case you can get withdraw contact altogether.

Tell him that sounds like a good idea, so everything can be formal. And from this point on all communication about child will go via this email address…

dont speak to him on the phone and save all communication. If the conversation was via text about him abducting the child, obviously save that!

do not offer to have him stay at your house either.

and get a ring doorbell. And if you are planning to let him visit in your home, get internal cameras too. I wouldnt be offering that.

This. I would do no unsupervised visits. And say you would welcome a court setting out his obligations formally.

and do everything in writing.

dont let him or his family make you feel guilty about anything

4 months is far to young for overnights, no court would allow that especially not with a weed smoker. Just ignore him and offer frequent regular short visits at your home - which is exactly what is recommended for a non resident parent building a relationship with a very small baby.

He is not prioritising the baby, let him try going to court,