DS left home and I feel lost

[Wilbs83]

hi, it’s my first threat on here 🙂 I have 2 DS, 15 and 18. My eldest has recently left home for work, he still comes home regularly but 95% of time he’s at work or staying in staff accommodation. My younger DS is at school and likes his independence. Hubby works away quite a lot. I feel like my life has revolved round being a mum for as long as I can remember, and now I’m feeling a bit lost.

I need a hobby or something to fill my time. We live rurally and not many amenities here, and I work part time. My friends have teens and jobs of their own and always seem busy with their own lives. Any advice/ideas would be greatly appreciated.

do you work?

what sid you do before he left? as given he is 18… i can’t imagine there was too much to do for him? or at least no more than for your 25 year old

Yes, I work 3 days a week.

I am just so used to him being around most of the time, he stayed on at school for 6th form but was only there on a part time basis, so he was at home a lot. I suppose I have felt a bit lost for a while. I was a young-ish mum, (22yrs old) and I left school at 16 and went into full time work, then married at 21 and baby at 22, I’ve never really had hobbies and now that I’ve got time in my hands, I can’t think of any hobbies that are accessible in a rural location.

are you close to your 15 year old?
happy marriage?
Is your older son happy? good social life?

Yes, I am close to my 15yr old. He has a good circle of friends and a girlfriend. Happy marriage but hubby works away alot. My older son is happy but very small circle of friends. He doesn’t go out with friends etc. I am hoping his job will mean he meets new people who will hopefully become friends for him.

Do you drive?
Try and see this is an exciting time where you can figure out who you are, your interests etc

I was going to ask if you drive too.
I’d join an exercise class like Pilates 2 days a week. The daytime ones are usually 9.30ish for an hour.
I’d look for a volunteering opportunity one day a week too.
That’s my plan when my only DS leaves home until DH retires.

Do you enjoy your work? You could go full time.

Honestly I am a bit jealous, the world is your oyster now.

You need to try a few things and figure out what you feel absorbed in. I think a solo hobby plus a group hobby plus a project is a good mix.

In your situation I'd get a dog and walk him as my solo and do some dog classes as my group.

Project wise it's usually something in the house or garden for me but you could also do a course or volunteer.

Hiking club?