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Original poster

I don't know what to doooooooooo

14 replies

beansmum · 25/04/2008 10:34

about anything really.

Ideally I want to move back to NZ before ds starts school in 2009. But wont have a degree by then, should be finished my OU courses by oct 2010.

so, will it matter if ds starts school here and then has to start again in NZ the year after? or should I move before I finish my OU stuff, enrol at the university of Auckland and do 3 years as a full time student? Or move after ds has done a couple of years at school here? or move now, get a job and worry about uni later? help me please, I am miserable here, want to move but can't work out the best timing for everyone.

OP posts:

ChocolateRockingHorse · 25/04/2008 10:36

What are your family circs?

What about your partner?

DS is young enough not to be disrupted to any degree any time in the next few years as long as he has you there!

Why are you miserable?

Original poster

beansmum · 25/04/2008 10:41

no partner, so it's just me and ds to worry about. My family are all over here at the moment but my parents would move back to NZ if I did and my sister probably will when she wants to settle down.

I'm not really miserable, just a bit fed up with the UK and wishing I hadn't come back here. Have been back for 10 years and it still doesn't feel like home. I have no friends, the weather is rubbish and I'm not too keen on the school system. I want to teach eventually, but don't want to do it here, and I want ds to be a kiwi.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 25/04/2008 10:49

Could you finish the OU courses from NZ? I don't know how it works, do they allow that/are there practical problems?

If you moved sooner, would you be in a position to be a fulltime student, with the finances and childcare? You're not expecting to get your degree till Oct 2010 - would it be much longer to start from scratch in NZ? Would they let you start in Yr2 anyway with the credits you already have?

I guess the question really is, if you would prefer to be there, what things are keeping you here, and are there ways round them?

Oh and, even if you don't have a partner, are there likely to be any issues with DSs father about moving abroad? - there are a lot of laws about that, so you'd need to be clear what that position was.

(I'm not trying to get rid of you, honestly )

Original poster

beansmum · 25/04/2008 11:01

I have just emailed the english tutor at Auckland to find out about credit transfer. It would be 3 yrs if I started from scratch and I'm not too late to apply for 2009.

ds's dad isn't a problem, he doesn't have parental responsibility and hasn't been I contact since ds was wks old. I don't know where he is and I don't think I have any obligation to find him.

I can't think of anything keeping me here, am I missing something really obvious? I just don't know why I have stayed here so long. If my parents had moved back from NZ the year after they did I would have stayed over there. but then I wouldn't have ds so i suppose it has all worked out for the best.

I suppose my main concern is ds starting school am I worrying about nothing? will he just fit into the system if he has to start again?

I think I would be ok financially, I have a house to sell and I think I could buy a house over there with plenty left over to cover me for uni/childcare. and I would be able to get a student loan I think, I'll have to investigate that.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 25/04/2008 11:18

I think children are pretty resilient about moving and changing schools etc - let's face it, it happens all the time, so the schools must be able to help them adjust. Is the school system very different there? Do they start any older or younger than here? If he had already done a year then started again it would obviously be easier than having missed out on a year IYSWIM. But at that age they pick up new things quite quickly so I don't see that it would cause him a problem.

And, is wanting to move back just something which you've started to feel recently, or has it been brewing for a long time? Not that you have to say, but it's as well to be clear in your own mind just why you want to move back - make sure that it's a positive choice rather than about being unhappy here, you know?

Alambil · 25/04/2008 11:31

TBH I'd go... a British teaching qualification doesn't stand up NZ apparently anyway so you'd have to train all over again when you get there (or at least do a post-grad course).

When is your child's birthday? They don't "have" to go to school until the term after their 5th birthday I think so that could buy you more time if they are a summer baby?

This is what the HE people say:

"Your child is of "compulsory school age" on the 1st January, 1st April or 1st September following their 5th birthday.

Children becoming 5 years old between 1st January and 31st March are of compulsory school age at the beginning of the term after 1st April.

Children becoming 5 years old between 1st April and 31st August are of compulsory school age from the beginning of the term after 1st September.

Children becoming 5 years old between 1st September and 31st December are of compulsory school age from the beginning of the term after 1st January."

AMumInScotland · 25/04/2008 11:42

Actually, since beansmum is up here, it could be even longer - if he won't be 5 by August 2009 then he won't have to start until August 2010, as we only have a single intake.

Original poster

beansmum · 25/04/2008 11:51

ds is 5 in june 2009, so would have to start in August that year, am I right? I think I will wait and see about credit transfer and then decide. I would hate to waste all the OU stuff I have done, I've done 3 courses already. I was thinking that if I waited until I had a degree (it should be a BA in humanities with literature if I stick withmy plan) I could go and do a PGCE, or whatever it is called there, in NZ. But I'm not sure if I want to wait that long as there is really nothing keeping me here. I am very confused.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 25/04/2008 12:01

Oh if he will have turned 5 then he has to start full-time education (school or home ed) so you don't have as much leeway there. But I was just checking out the NZ school system and they don't start till 5 or 6 so at least he wouldn't be at a disadvantage if he moved there from a Scottish school, and you would be able to put him into the lower year if you thought that would make things easier for him.

But to be honest, if there's nothing really keeping you here, and you've always had a general intention of going back at some stage, then I would think getting on with it was the better choice, so long as the credit transfer can be done.

I've no idea how the teacher training qualifications work there, but I would imagine that a local degree might be able to include the right kinds of courses to make the additional teaching qualification easier to arrange?

Original poster

beansmum · 25/04/2008 12:13

Ok, ds will be fine. I just need to sort out what I want to do. I wish I had someone to help me make decisions! I think moving sooner is probably best, if I know I am going in a couple of years I don't think I will be able to settle down and get on with things here properly. I will speak to my parents tonight and see what their plans are. I might be a bit on my own for a while.

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AMumInScotland · 25/04/2008 12:45

That sounds like a good idea - if you're used to having family around then it might feel very odd to go back (even if it is "home") but not have them around. Just talking to them might help you feel clearer about what you want and why. I have to say I'm hopeless at future plans - if I want to do something, then I want to get on with it straight away

Alambil · 25/04/2008 14:14

do it - then sponsor me ... not really!

Are your folks planning on going back then too?

droopytits · 26/04/2008 19:25

all sounds good to me - I think you should go for it.

Is this anything to do with the bloke beans?

Original poster

beansmum · 27/04/2008 14:03

I suppose it is kind of to do with my bloke. Not directly (and he's not really my bloke) but we were chatting and he asked why I was still here when I would obviously rather be in NZ and I didn't have an answer.

I spoke to my parents and they are not happy. My dad wants to move, especially as my sister is thinking of moving within a year or two, but my mum is settled here and has a good job, nice new house etc. so I don't know what is going to happen there. My mum is just sad that she will miss out on spending time with ds. But they will support me as much as they can, which I suppose wont be much from the other side of the world!

I am thinking that I will start applying for uni places this year and start in feb/march 2009. Then ds can start school in NZ and I wont feel like I am hanging around waiting to move. I'm very excited now! Will have to start serious planning.

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