A Question About 40th Birthday Parties...

[handlemecarefully]

I am toying with whether to have a party or not (tempted 'not' since I don't especially feel like celebrating my advancing years), however if I do have one I will hire village hall and band etc (having people descend on me at home would be just too stressful and there isn't enough Rescue Remedy in the world to calm my beating heart in those circs)

The question I want to ask is this:

people who have 40th birthday bashes with say 80 guests etc - are the invitees actually all their close friends, or do they make up numbers with 'friendly acquaintainces'?

[friendly acquaintances definition - will happily chat to in chummy fashion at school gates/ when picking up your child from theirs after play date will stop for a coffee with them/ might see them socially outside these settings but as part of a group rather than a 1:1 etc but they aren't your 'solid' friend who you really open up to...]

I ask because I have only a few close friends - (defined as people who I ring regularly, see regularly, laugh and cry with regularly and go out with regularly); 6 in total (excluding their partners) but I have many many more friendly acquaintances. People that I quite like and are seemingly fun, some of whom I have gone out with in a big group but I haven't emotionally invested in a close friendship with them.

If I did have a party (am getting my arm twisted on this) I would invite them too - would this look like saddo Johnny no mates making up numbers strategy, or is this the scenario for most people do you think?

If I was going to find 80 guests to invite to a party, I'd need to invite people I knew from school/church/rugby etc etc, but who werent close friends - ie I'd bought them a beer in the bar, and have seen them socially, but they havent been to my house/poured my heart out to them.

And I dont thinks its saddo at all, it makes it a lovely community event

It sounds to me like you don't really want to have a party. Why don't you just have a nice meal at home, or out, with the 6 close girlfriends?
Then if you feel like having a big bash have a summer barbecue or something later in the year.

I was 40 last week, commiserations.....

'Happy' Birthday for last week Shitemum (as happy as a 40th can be, lol)

Thanks Minum - that's reassuring

just over 105 came to ours in december

it seemed a lot

i was really inviting acquaintances at the end but say 20 dud not come - you need to over-invite to keep up the numbers

i am sure everyone does it - do not feel billy no mates

like you CLOSE friends was way short of 20%!

Ah - that's good.

You can get a bit paranoid thinking that other people must be enormously popular!

I invited everyone I would have invited to my wedding - day and evening invites. About 130 (adults) were invited, and 70 came. I can't remember how many children were invited, but about 15 children/babies came too.

I got my mum to have ds for the night and dh took me to a wonderful small but reassuringly expensive hotel for dinner and to stay the night. It was lovely and I had a great time.

I plumped for that and a pair of diamond earrings rather than a large party, as the earrings are permanent iyswim.

My 40th party is on Sat (actual birthday was 2 weeks ago). Have got about 70 people coming I think. Some of them are good friends, a lot of them are just acquaintances.

When someone I didn't know that well recently invited me to their 40th, I was really touched and delighted to be asked! Don't think it matters if they're not your best pals - it can still be a good party if everyone's pleased to be there.

That's true - I've also been pleased to be invited when I didn't know the 'inviter' extremely well

Hope your party goes well foofi

Hmmm - diamond earrings and an expensive hotel... I was 40 on the 19th and all I got was a ruddy CD and a pair of silver earrings that I'd finally thought of at the last minute as I didn't want to end up with nothing at all!!!

I'd have hated a party btw .

hmc - you sound just like me! my 40th was in feb, but i'm still toying with the idea of a party in the summer - but just can't decide who to invite. i think you should just invite all your acquaintances - the more the merrier idea. (and no one has to know that you hardly know them )