Adoption! How old is too old?

[Enchanted]

We have been thinking about adoption for many years, however we havn't actually looked into it. I have been wondering if we are now actually too old , I am 41 and dh is 38 our ds is just 2.5. Anyone know the ins and outs, do they like the adopted child to become the youngest member of the family, how does it work?

Hi Enchanted, don't know the ins and outs but my mum has just adopted a 5 yo and she is 59! Her natural children are 36 (me), 34 and 32. Long story though but this is encouraging I hope in age terms. Expect someone else will be more helpful.

Wickedwaterwitch,
That really is encouraging, it looks like there isn't an age limit then. You lot must have been angels ha, ha, if she was willing to go through the whole thing again. She must be quite a woman your Mother! Don't forget and buy her a subsription to Mumsnet for Xmas!

Hi Enchanted - I dont think you are too old at all to adopt. People are having their very 1st child around your age and even their 6 and 7th and so on past your age.

Adoption is such a wonderful thing and so are the people who open their hearts to children who need loving parents. Good luck as you explore this idea.

Enchanted, I think the low age limits are for adopting new babies. The official "concern" about older parents seems to vanish when it comes to older children. Good luck!

www, your mother sounds superb! Could we hear the long story, please?

I've been looking into adoption, and as far as age goes, I think it depends on the different agencies - guidelines and rules seem to vary. As has been said though, most only seem t apply the (upper) age limits when placing young babies. There aren't any rules as to how old the child should be in relation to your own, although they don't like having less than 2 years age difference between adopted and natural children (they don't want people to adopt just as a companion for an existing child).

Check out www.baaf.org.uk which has lots of information.

If you are considering an overseas adoption, China encourages "older" parents. When DH and I adopted DD in 1998, parents had to be between 30 and 50 to adpot an infant. It was my understanding they felt "older" parents were more financially established, more stable, etc. I know some people who adopted their second daughter this summer and the mom was 43.

Friends of ours recently adopted an 18 month old. They are 45 (mum) and 35 (Dad). Apparently there is a rule about the age gap between the adoptive parent and the child (so older couples may only be able to adopt older children)but I'm not sure how this works.

Issymum,
What sort of costs are involved in adopting abroad, if any?