I still cannot get the idea of moving away out of my head

[CrackerOfNuts]

I shove the idea to the back of my mind all of the time, but it is still there.

What I don't know is, if it is a good or bad idea and wether i'd be being selfish really.

I think you should all decide for me

Moving to where?

I suspect you would n't appreciate the safety net of having family nearby , however unreliable, until they weren't there. A new start might be tempting but is it really practical atm or would you be trading your current lifestyle for a similar if more isolated one?

Focus your energies on trying to get some kind of training or job/volunteer work in a familiar environment so that at least if you feel the same way in a year or so you have some transferable skills to enable you to make a positive start elsewhere. Otherwise you could move and feel even more lost.

I do appreciate how close by my family are, however I think in someways this does hold me back a bit sometimes.

I only mean moving at most an hour away, probably less.

It might make things harder yep, but in other ways I feel it could be the making of me.

Maybe it would, but do think you'd find it easier to adjust if you could be moving and have something to do lined up. You've recently said how hard you've found it to force yourself out of the house and meet people, that really won't be any easier in an area where you don't know anyone. Did you get your results btw ?

Yep, results were ok, there was evidence that I have recntly been fighting off a virus of some sort, and th gp agreed that this could have been from xmas when I was ill several times one after the other.

She said I should start to feel better now, but I have another depression questionaire to fill in and take back in two weeks.

I realise that moving would have a whole host of problems but for me at least, i think it is the right tihng to do. I am not 100% sure if is is the right thing to do for the kids though, and that is why I keep pushing it to the back of my mind. They are more or less happy here, it is me that isn't.

don't know the history with this, your OP suggests you might have posted before on this, but I wondered if the way you worded this whole issue is quite telling? you mention moving 'away' rather than just moving, or moving 'to'

Is it more about getting away from something where you are? If it is I'd say look very very carefully about what you actually would gain from moving OTHER than being away. And would that be enough to justify moving the kids, etc. If it would - there's your answer

Honoria - that is a brilliant answer.

Hmmm, I would be moving away from things yep, but I am ont sure thats what I meant when I said 'away'.

Obviously I would be moving away from my obsessive xp, but this certainly isn't the only or main reason that I want to move.

It is really hard to explain why I do want to move tbh. I kind of fell that where I am now, I am always answerable to someone, if that makes sense ? My mum is fab and a huge help to me, but I know that subconciously I do sometimes consider greatly what she will think, or even ask her, instead of making up my own mind.

I don't feel like I am very independant.

Aside from that, I just want to move LOL.

ooh thank you swedes, that is obviously my flash of brilliance done for this year

CoN I totally see where you're coming from re: just wanting to move, I always get itchy feet and fancy living in other houses. i think it's mainly when mine is a REAL tip as opposed to the usual tip

I also understand your wish for independence but would you automatically gain that from living further away - I have this with my mum TBH, I still take her opinions as HUGELY important and her views do influence me and this was still the same when she lived hundreds of miles away, as we just spoke on the phone every day instead!

If you can avoid doing that then I reckon a move sounds a good thing.