Is it irresponsible of me?

[Sleepymum171288]

Hi,

I feel like I need a weekend without the husband or children but is that irresponsible of me?

Some background info. I got married and had my son just before the lockdown in 2020. Then in mid 2021 I got pregnant with my slaughter and had her in 2022. In between that time I completed 2 years of uni studies (part time) and juggled family life with studies. After my daughter was born my health has been up and down. I'm in my mid to late 30s so I understand post partum recovery is slower. In early 2023 I had what felt like a heart attack in the morning of the night. Thankfully my diagnosis does not show any heart problems but doctors felt I was overstressed from looking after 2 kids, doing the housework and struggling to complete my studies.

Which brings me to today. I have not been sleeping properly for weeks as my daughter keeps waking up several times at night and I can't seem to go back to sleep (I think it's just my age). This has led me to more or less snap at my husband and children and even after my husband gave me some time off by taking the kids out I still feel very short tempered. One of the sis-in-laws suggested I take a weekend off and go somewhere like a spa. I have not had a day to myself to relax since 2019 I suppose but I feel like it would be irresponsible of me to do that.

Is it wrong?

Yeah you need a break. Your husband needs to understand just how bloody hard it is

Is it wrong to need time to recoup? Absolutely not, sounds like you need it so book that weekend if you can afford it.

It's not irresponsible to want a break. It is actually very responsible to keep an eye on yourself and make sure your needs are met. You can't keep pouring from an empty vessel. I understand the feeling if being responsible for the children etc but they have a dad. He can hold the Erin's just as you can.

Go for a break. Make it a regular thing. If you can't get past the but what about them, imagine that you taking care of yourself will benefit them, too.

Of course it's not wrong but more importantly where has your husband been in all this? How did it get to the point that you're having panic attacks?

Take a break and I'd build it into a regular occurrence that you and DH take turns. It doesn't need to be extravagant, just a Travelodge or Premier Inn with a good book, the TV remote to yourself and nice M&S snack foods and have some R&R with someone else cleaning and cooking for you.