Feeling silly for crying 🥲😭

[Cheekychiq]

Hi guys, posting because I feel a bit silly about what had happened…what would you have done?

So, not gonna go into detail but my husband and I have been really struggling financially for the past couple of months…we know that it’s only for the time being but it’s still been pretty challenging and some weeks we do struggle to afford enough food to last us until the end of the month 🥲 but like I said, I know it’s only temporary and there’s better coming. However, I do rely on my family from time to time and I’ve found myself relying on them a little more than usual during these tough times for obvious reasons…my family are very supportive and I’ve not had a reason to feel uncomfortable about asking them for help. I do sometimes feel a bit embarrassed to have to ask because maybe there is a little bit of pride deep down but overall it’s usually fine.

However, recently we’d run out of some essential items and I felt too embarrassed to ask for help but I swallowed my pride and asked my mum to buy milk for my young child. She gave me her debit card and I went into the shop with the sole intention of buying milk and nothing else. However, whilst I was there we had a short phone conversation and she said I could add a few other bits and bobs (if I didn’t have any at home) and of course I was pleased and shopped for other items, yet I didn’t realise that the amount would go up to £49 at the checkout.

when I got back to the car my mum saw the amount of items and didn’t seem too pleased and I received a bit of a lecture (not a major one) but I apologised and let her know that I didn’t intend to buy that much and perhaps got a bit carried away. I also felt motivated because the fridge was quite empty at home🙊

when we got back to our house she made a few more comments here and there and for some reason I went to the kitchen and started to cry. I don’t know why I cried but I feel like it wasn’t really about her comments but maybe I’d been suppressing so many emotions and had perhaps not processed how our financial struggles were truly affecting me. She got annoyed that I was crying and thought it was because of her comments 😂 I mean, I get it, I’m fine with being reprimanded but the crying outburst did make me think a little bit🤔 In hindsight I felt quite silly for crying as a grown woman but I guess sometimes we got to let it out…AIBU for crying?

I would have cried too OP.
You sound as though your financial situation is really getting you down, as it would anyone in your situation.
I think when your Mum said you could buy a few other things it would have been helpful if she had given you some idea of how much she felt was an acceptable amount to spend.
I don't know if she is struggling for money herself but it does seem a bit heartless of her to get annoyed with you in these circumstances.

From the POV of the parent:

I'd possibly be shocked/pissed off if the amount meant I was skint instead and would have preferred it to have been cleared with me in advance, as I may have been expecting about £20.

If I could afford it, I wouldn't have said a thing (and probably sorted out a big delivery to come in the last week of the month).

This would also be dependent upon whether it was what I saw as actual food and not shite the husband liked that would leave you hungry again by Thursday - my ex taking advantage of a similar offer to literally fill a trolley with biscuits, cakes, cheese, sugary cereal, squash, crisps and absolutely no vegetables (and then kicked off later because I didn't want to share a single portion pasta ready meal because 'I'm HUNGRY too!') - and if the financial circumstances were bad luck rather than as a consequence of wasteful spending on other things.

From the POV of being the skint person: Probably cried. And got preapproval for more than twenty quid.

Why a second thread about the same thing?

I mean I can't imagine as a parent being pissed off at giving my child 50 quid to put food in their fridge but to just go and spend it without checking first Is a bit cheeky. However I know what it's like to be broke and it's awful, it's what makes me cry the most as an adult!!!

Crying ‘as a grown woman’ is fairly normal, have you never cried as an adult before? Sounds like a stressful situation. £49 is a lot to spend on a ‘few bits’ so I can see why your mum may have been a bit shocked. Probably best to check beforehand next time.

isn't this your second thread about this? You bought fabric softener & some other non essentials rather than the milk & jam your mum suggested?

If you spent the 49quid on a weekly food shop, I'd probably be ok with it, (if I was your Mum).

Your surprise that a "few bits and bobs" cost £49 is revealing though, especially buying fabric softener etc. I'd feel like my kindness was being abused.

A few bits....milk, bread, potatoes,pasta,frozen veg big pack mince for a few meals, washing powder if really needed everything from cheapest range .....fabric softener is a luxury