My mum has been asking me for money
I am 25 years old young female, here is when it begans so my parents were together for 16 years and there was no issue at all and by the time they split up when I was 10 years old. My mum moved out along with my older brother, me and my younger sister late December 2009. Few months later, my dad met my stepmum and then nine months later, she fallen pregnant and had a little girl. When I reached into my teenage years at the age of 13 I was really good at saving money, even younger than that. I was very good at saving money. I’ll keep my money in my purse and I’ve always been a tight and at the age of 16 I was a cheapskate, which I still do from today (lol). When I was 13 years old, My mum has been asking me for money and then one day when I told my dad about this my dad was fuming because that was my pocket money what he give me and my sister. Then one day when I was 14 years old. My mum has been asking me for money and then I’ve got really upset one day and I said that what Dad said that that’s my money, not yours because the reason why she needed that money is because number one is petrol and second of all is the electric and the water ( Do you know these card things when you go to the shop top up electric or water that’s what we had) my mum was on benefits and my dad was supporting my mum I understand that being a single mum is not an easy job and it’s difficult but around the same time. You shouldn’t be asking your kids for money even your kids are still at school and brother he is almost 9 years old older than me he has quite a few jobs here and also he has learning difficulties He hasn’t been diagnosed with any sort of learning difficulties, but I consider he has got learning difficulties because he has got a statement with SENCO would choose, special education needs co myself. I’ve got learning difficulties but I’ve got autism spectrum disorder and I was diagnosed with that when I was in year six, so I was lucky before I reach the adulthood as nowadays lots of kids have been diagnosed with autism, ADHD etc from a very young age young as two years old. With my brother, he was in his 20s at the time he had quite a lot of jobs and quite a few he got the sacked but the thing is about him he doesn’t speak up he doesn’t if anything that he’s not sure wall and he’s very very sensitive and a lot more sensitive than to me he hasn’t got a backbone and he doesn’t know how to stick up for himself but as me, I know when to ask when I’m not comfortable and I know how to stick up myself and I have a been sacked from my job ever.
Ever since I was a teenager, Mum has been asking me for money, I just say no to her so many times the way she says it is like please can I borrow 20 quid or a tenner I’ll give you back to you I’ll treat you and then I end up, giving it to her, and then she told me not to tell Dad and then I end up getting upset I did ever since year seven always been told, never ever ever give anyone money at all since that girl who bullies me, and she was asking me and other girls money.
After I got airport job at the age of 19 she asked me to pay rent which is understandable because It is part of daily life when you get your own place, she kept asking money for fags, gas and electric. Me and her have had rows before but one time when I was 14 she smacked me in the face then I called dad to pick me up then as dad arrived. She basically hugs me and then dad said to Mum that you should really smack her in the face, there is quite few times she used to do after when my brother didn’t pay his phone bill and he got a really high bill basically cancelled it and then he kicked off screaming and smashing everywhere in his bedroom and then Mum kicked him out by kicking him him pushing him
My brother in the past while my mum and dad were together, he stole money at the age of 15 and I can remember that time it kicked off. And then years later, at the age of 30, he was working at the shop after almost 10 years he picked up 05 pound note, and then some girl at the shop snitched on him and then told the manager and then he got suspended and then a few days later he got sacked what Mum said to him that she never bought us for a to be thieves I can’t stand stealing in at all in the past when I was 11 or 12 years old I have stole £5 coins for my dad for school to have food and I haven’t stolen money since. One day when I was 20 or 21 am I sister was in her only teenager years and my mum walked into our bedroom. While we were sleeping and she took money out of my sisters purse and then ask her what are you doing and she said none of your business and I went to Mum. You don’t do that you you don’t storm in without a knock and then she tell me to shut up and then when my sister woke up, she asked Mum what are you doing
I don’t get on with my stepmum, since when I was 13 basically me and her falling out and k haven’t got on well with her since.
That’s why I’ve got trust issues with people because I’ve been bullied since when I was in year five after changing a lot of schools and as a young adult I don’t know. Best way is don’t trust anyone.
As soon as I arrive, working with an airline and I’ve started working out since when I was 23 after covid months before when I was 22 years old, we were announced we had to move me and my sister move back into our dads and her and my brother into my uncles, which is her grandad’s house we told my brother that you need to get another job where he works and still works there as a cleaner in the gym, which was about a two minute drive from us and a half hour walk and we’ve been telling him over and over and then by the time when we move he still hasn’t done it so it basically has to get on the train from North Essex down to South Essex, but the thing is he even had to walk or cycle, but there’s no buses and it cost him 26 quid return and works part time I was really annoyed at him but then I’ve got. I’ve got my driving license back after I got banned for year for DD (September 2022- September 2023) He has been relying on me to pick him up and drop him off to the station and work I did say this to him that you need to get another job. Also, when I started working with an airline about a month later after that’s when we moved and then I felt like thank God I don’t have to pay my mum’s rent but the only thing that I couldn’t escape was when she kept asking for money for petrol and other shit. My mum didn’t start working until when my sister started senior school with health and social care.
I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 2 years is amazing, beloved and caring, young man he is boyfriend
Recently from couple months ago till now whenever I’m out of the house like work whatsoever, she will ask for money and even when I’m indoors she will ask me how is indoors meaning at home that’s when she ask to make sure that my dad doesn’t hear me and then after when I booked a holiday I did say this to her that you have to pay your way but then up to the final payments to ask my dad to help me and then he did, and then the money that I own him I’ll give it to her monthly and then my dad told me that your mum has been asking for money I said yes but what I didn’t know that after with my mum left my dad’s years ago my mum was in debt and I was shocked how much steps she was, and he has a bail my mum out. One holiday where we went to with my dad couple months ago I was walking to Spa to get pedicure and then my brother and my Mum asked for money and I said no and I was walking down in tears and I knew I was being manipulated. When I was around my Bf ‘s grandparents house She text me to borrow 40 quid for petrol and I said no, and then I’ve got really upset and then I went no and she said fine I remember when you want help, and then I’ll transfer it and then I broke down into tears outside of my boyfriend’s grandparents house and then as I come back here, I was crying and then he asked me what’s wrong and I told him. And one day when I was at home she asked me for money and I said no, I’m not a sneak and then I’ll transfer it into account as I was crying really loudly and then my dad asked me what was wrong so I told him and then he said if your mum asked your money again, just always say no. And then after with my boyfriend told me that I need to have a word with my mum about this, which I did twice along with my sister, even though my sister was getting annoyed of her asking for money we were serious and we want to make it clear and move forward then she apologise well I don’t think that was apology. And then about a two months later while I’m on holiday at moment she has been asking for money. I said no to her. I would put my foot down months ago and I’ve said no because I’ve already set myself boundaries she has asking me for money three times while I’m on holiday she knows I’m out of the country and she knows I’m not at home. The thing is my brother works part time and he still works as a cleaner and travels almost 2 hours by train and walk or bike We’ve been telllng him to get another job my boyfriend so that he can help him with his cv and the thinners, the hometown, where I spent most my childhood, which I still live in he misses it, and he doesnt like change Unfortunately, we have to move on. Me and my partner a place soon what scares me is that my mum probably ask me for money and even when we have kids of our own I’ve got a feeling one of them could steal the money, but I said to my partner that will be getting a safe for our kids, bank accounts and money etc and also my mum and my brother keeps going down the south where I live which is wasting petrol, how far they live. It’s an hour and a half away and I did tell her stop keeping come down south often and it wastes petrol and when I asked my sister, why did I keep asking me for money and my sisters replied probably the reason why because I’ve got the most money out of us from now on , I’m not gonna tell my mum how much I get paid . Only people I tell about my wages which is my dad and my Bf.
what is your suggestions?