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My mum has taken out mail order accounts in my name

18 replies

mamaxbear · 20/07/2024 13:24

So you see the title, and yep there really are parents like that out there.

These accounts go back to 2015, they defaulted in 2016 and I still have debt collectors chasing me now. They’re no longer visible on my credit file, but I’m still being chased. I should have acted back in 2016 when I found out about them, but I was going into my second year of university and didn’t want to believe my own mum would do this to me. I logged into her email account and saw the order confirmations from the accounts. What do I do now? Have I left it too late? I’ve contacted the companies the accounts were taken out with but they’ve sold the debt now, so it’s no longer in their hands.

OP posts:
leeverarch · 20/07/2024 13:31

This is fraud, and you should have reported it to the police long ago. So if you didn't then I suggest you do it now.

The onus is on the debt collection agency to prove that the debt is yours, and they can't do that because it isn't.

IncognitoUsername · 20/07/2024 13:34

How much is it and what is your relationship like with her now?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/07/2024 13:39

If you don’t mind what happens to your relationship with her I would report it to the police.

Thelastbitofketchup · 20/07/2024 13:42

If you don’t mind what happens to your relationship with her I would report it to the police.

didnt that ship sail when she committed fraud against her own child!!
stately homes thread on relationships board. Might help OP

mamaxbear · 20/07/2024 13:57

leeverarch · 20/07/2024 13:31

This is fraud, and you should have reported it to the police long ago. So if you didn't then I suggest you do it now.

The onus is on the debt collection agency to prove that the debt is yours, and they can't do that because it isn't.

I know but I was 19 and oblivious/naive to what was happening. Plus I really thought I needed my mother then and was worried me reporting it would fragment our relationship. Silly me because she wasn’t bothered when she was committing fraud.

OP posts:
mamaxbear · 20/07/2024 13:57

IncognitoUsername · 20/07/2024 13:34

How much is it and what is your relationship like with her now?

There are two accounts, one for £125 and one for £603. We don’t speak, I confronted her about it and she denies it and has told me she isn’t paying a penny

OP posts:
IncognitoUsername · 20/07/2024 14:00

mamaxbear · 20/07/2024 13:57

There are two accounts, one for £125 and one for £603. We don’t speak, I confronted her about it and she denies it and has told me she isn’t paying a penny

Then if you have the proof, go to the police. It’s not your debt.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/07/2024 14:02

Then go to the police!

Amazinggrace842 · 20/07/2024 14:23

Ignore debt collector they have no powers OP. Google everything they send you. Reference numbers eg "form DB57" or whatever may be totally meaningless and they've made it up to frighten you into paying. Don't trust them, all they want is to bully someone into paying the debt, they don't care who.

Don't answer door to them. Definitely don't phone them, they'll use the opportunity to manipulate and extract information from you. Write to them. Don't give any information they don't already have, such as your real address (I imagine it's in your name at your mum's address) or email address or phone number or banking details. Tell them that the debt isn't yours, you've been a victim of fraud, the debt is your mother's, provide her name and address. Keep a copy of the letter. Send it "signed for" at the post office so you can see it's arrived and have a signature of who signed for it, take a screenshot of the signature page.

The only thing you mustn't ignore is if you get a Notice Before Action, because that means they're taking you to court and if you don't attend to fight it then you'll lose by default. If you do receive this then provide the evidence you need to provide to dispute the claim as per the forms. Don't be giving the debt collector all your personal financial info, expenses and income etc though, which they'll ask for on official-looking forms which aren't actually official and you don't need to provide this information to them. That's information you'd provide to the court if you were asking to settle the debt in installments due to financial hardship.

This is unlikely to happen. If you're in England or Wales (sorry IDK about the rest of UK) debts expire 6yrs after the last payment/admission to the debt by the debtor etc. A debt from 2016 they've no chance of winning in court, they have no grounds to take to court, it expired in 2022. If anyone makes payment towards the debt, however small or admits the debt is theirs, the 6yrs starts again. I imagine this is why it's fallen off your credit file, unless you had it removed?

Report to police, it's a crime and if you don't report someone, somewhere could maybe deem you to have accepted the debt. We have a duty to report crime especially where someone else like a bank may lose out.

Change any password your mum may have access to. If there's any chance your mum has ever had access to your bank or card details, contact your bank about the fraud too. If you still officially live with your mum when not at university, move out, she's not someone you can live with any more. Even if that means leaving university and getting a job to afford it.

When you sign up for the electoral roll at your address, tick the box to go onto the "private register". It means Joe Blogs Scammers Company Ltd can't search the electoral roll to find out where you live.

JFDIYOLO · 20/07/2024 14:25

Write it all down.
Go to the police with all the info and paperwork.
Tell them you have been the victim of fraud by a family member who is refusing to pay their debts and is now causing you to be harassed by debt collectors.
She won't change, sadly. But the debts should be properly registered in the name of the person who's responsible for them.

Amazinggrace842 · 20/07/2024 14:36

Just seen your updates OP. If you have no contact with your mum and she/debt collector doesn't have your address, you could just bin any paperwork.

Now and again a debt collector company will buy up a pile of old outstanding debts from a company cheaply, in the hope that some will be within the 6yrs to chase for payment or that if outside the 6yrs, some gullible person will be persuaded to admit the debt and make a payment towards it causing it to start up again. If you just bin the paperwork nothing will happen but you might get chased occasionally, especially if they have your address and they might show up at your door etc which is a nuisance.

If you want to silence them permanently, do what I posted above.

HeChokedOnAChorizo · 20/07/2024 14:40

If the accounts defaulted in 2016 and no payment or acknowledgment has been made then the accounts are out of time. A company has 6 years to take you to court, if they havent then it’s too late.

if a payment was made in day 2020 then the clock would have reset and it would be 2026 before they are statute barred.

the debt collectors can still chase you but the cannot take you to court or register a default against your credit file.

HeChokedOnAChorizo · 20/07/2024 14:43

Also if an account is statute barred NOTHING can undo it, you can admit it, you can take a full page add out in the Daily Mirror admitting it but it will not be made live again.

SeeSeeRider · 20/07/2024 14:54

My friend's mum forged her signature on the back of a cheque to cash it, back when you could do that, and also withdrew money from her Post Office Savings account at the post office. She cut out the pages from the pass book afterwards. She had got into debt with catalogues. When my friend, all unknowing, reported the money missing the police turned up to question her (my friend!) for fraud. It all came out after that. Her mother needed help, not blame.

BobbyBiscuits · 20/07/2024 14:54

Absolutely vile she did this. Unless she had a very, very good reason. (Eg partner financially abusing her so she had no access to any money to buy basic clothing etc)
It's not like you set it up and bought things together and had an agreement. It's massively dishonest.
I'd try and guilt trip her/ force her to paying it, and threaten police and permanent NC if she doesn't.

CouncilEstate · 20/07/2024 15:24

youre not alone OP.
dh’s dad took out bills and credit cards in his name when he was 16-26 and defaulted on them.

He reported to the police but literally nothing was done.
we’ve gone no contact obviously, but DH has a bad credit score, and we pay monthly (despite it not being our debt!) after coming to an arrangement with the debt collectors.
unfortunately when he was young (before we met) he found out about it and was still enmeshed with the toxic family members. They promised to give him the money each month for him to repay it. That lasted 6 months at best and then they changed the script and denied everything, but because dh had started making payments it apparently means he acknowledged that the debt was his and so we have to keep repaying.
luckily not a huge amount left now, but as a parent I genuinely can’t see how you could do that to your child.

Pammela2 · 20/07/2024 15:30

This happened to me and my siblings.

My mum still tied to deny some of them but we can see them on our credit files. She did pay some back but everyone had defaults and there was a few she refused to take responsibility for.

tbh nothing much has come from it apart from ensuring our relationship is never going to be close/trusting.

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