24 year old son desperate for a dog.

[Callianna]

I have a 24 year old son who has finished uni and living back at home. He had a good job and works hard. He works mainly from home. He doesn’t like going out drinking so that limits his socialising. He is also a PT and spends a lot of time at the gym.
He is desperate for a dog, but is nowhere near being in a situation of getting his own place to be able to have a dog. He says he will look after and pay for it’s upkeep.
I really, really am not keen to get a dog. I like a clean house, and don’t even like touching or stroking dogs. I am really not a “ dog “ person! At 24 , my son may not always be wanting to have the commitment of a dog, and the thought of my husband and I having the responsibility for it for what could be 15 years is making me very worried.
My son is saying it would make him so happy, and he will stay living in the area in the future when he is able to afford a house to take the dog. I love my son very much, and want him to be happy, but just don’t know what to do..

Tell him you don't want a dog in your house.

If he has a good job he can move out and get a dog in his own home.

This is a decision he can make for himself when he has his own place.

What's he like with housework by the way? Is he kind who will clean up all the puppy messes, vacuum up the hair, pick all the poo out of the garden? Without any prodding from you?

he can totally have a dog, or any other pet when he has his own place. Until then, NO DOGS. Tell him that.

"My son is saying it would make him so happy" - My Arse. Stop being his doormat.

Tell him no.

Suggest he signs up with The Cinnamon Trust or the local shelters / dog warden as a dog walker to get his fix.

That’s motivation for him to save up for a place of his own, then, isn’t it! Something to look forward to when he does move away.

Absolutely do not get a dog, OP. You will resent it, DS’s life could move on in a hundred different ways meaning owning a dog is impractical, and you’ll be lumbered. Especially if he rents - few landlords accept dogs.

The week I bought my first house I got kittens. Had looked forward to it for years.

Don't get a dog.

You don't want one

You're quite right that you might get left with it if he moves somewhere where he can't take it - or very least be forced to share its care when he's at work.

Really don't get a dog if you don't want one.

Do not get a dog / allow him to get a dog while living in your home.
You do not like dogs or want a dog, and that is the end of it.
If your DS wants a dog, he must move out.
You can love your DS very much and still refuse to get a dog, because you don’t want a dog.

Don’t be daft! Aside from anything else dogs are a massive financial liability.

at least £300 pcm to care for adequately/ with good insurance, food and holiday care.

no doubt you’d be the default dog carer if he suddenly wanted to move out/ work abroad etc.

they are a huge tie.

if he wants one, life goals ! Move out, get a mortgage on a one bed place suitable for a dog. Or a rental that is ok with dogs. Ah yes ….about that 🤦‍♀️

As a dog owner - no.

His situation is likely to change, he could moVe anywhere for work and if renting, will struggle to.find accommodation. YOu could end up with the dog.
He can volunteer at animal rescue places, I know a greyhound rescue that has a team of volunteers who take the dogs out for walk together etc.

Having a dog is amazing but the entire household has to be on-board.

Exactly what everyone says above. He can get a dog when he moves out.

But also, pets are expensive with insurance and even the fancy foods. Heaven forbid if it would ever need an operation etc. Costs are crazy.

My point being he really would never be able to save if he’s paying for a dog. Could be thousands a year

As a dog owner and lover- say no.

He can get a dog when he moves out. I love my dog so much, but I wanted him and have had him and nurtured him since he was a puppy. I refuse to look after any family members dogs though as in my opinion they are smellier and shed more hair than mine 🤦‍♀️

Your house. Your rules. Tell him he can have a dog when he has his own place.

You do know what to do. Grow a backbone and tell him 'no'.

In the words of Zammo

I want a dog! In reality we both work out of the home most of the time, and we have a cat (who we love very, very much), plus my partner is not really a dog person.

I befriended a neighbour who has a lovely dog. Regular walks for me and dog, dog sitting when neighbour needs to go away, and a fab friend. Everyone wins. Sometimes DP comes on walks but he hates it when she poos In the street and I have to pick it up - so this is definitely the right option! Pic from earlier (not hot here).

So he is 24 years old, he has two jobs, and he doesn’t spend much. So why can’t he get his own place and make his own decision about getting a dog?

You need to stick with a firm no. He can get a dog when he gets his own place. Not at yours.

He's not at the right stage of life to get one. He won't be even he's earning enough for his own place either unless he can afford a dog walker. You're at the right stage to get a dog which is probably why he can imagine it working!