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He changed his mind about marrying me?!

2 replies

Ladieunlucky · 16/07/2024 07:50

Hi again, thank you to those who followed my last posts and gave advice. Different subject but would like some genuine advice.

I have been with my OH for 3 years. We had a great relationship, but we argue due to my MH and his reactions. I got diagnosed with bi polar in March and he has stayed with me. I also have a very hard and recent termination due to mental health and OH told me during the pregnancy he wasn’t ready yet. Very hard but we are now trying to move forward. Originally he planned to propose to me in Dubai in November. Dubai is still going ahead but recently the proposal was spoken about again and he said he wasn’t going to do this now in Dubai. His reason being is this year has been hard and we have been arguing, and he wants it to be a happy moment. Basically get engaged and not argue after. For it to be right. My point to him was this has been the most mentally hard year for me, diagnosis, loosing my job and friends, sucicial and termination. I’m also facing a court case due to one manic episode. I didn’t think he classed this as arguing and felt it would only bring us closer. The reason he told me about the plan to propose originally was I was having a honest conversation about ending the relationship as I felt to much of a burden and guilty for how I was.

He says he still loves me dearly but he wasn’t ready for the child and he now wants to delay a proposal until it feels right. Which I understand, but I have told him I am ready. He’s spoke about children and marriage with me since we met. He even named our baby and when I was pregnant said he didn’t want to do it. I am worried that the naturally progression in a relationship was happening and isn’t now. And I’m trying to decide if I’m wasting my time on someone who may never be ready?

OP posts:
Trixiefirecracker · 16/07/2024 07:53

Sounds like you have had a very tricky time. I think maybe he just wants the dust to settle too and I probably would if I were in his shoes.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 16/07/2024 08:04

I think you are wasting your time on this guy because he is too much of a naive romantic. Leaving aside the fact that I think you were already engaged and he has now broken it off, because you had agreed to marry, he is just stringing you along knowing you are weak- you are more likely to agree as you are at your lowest due to a very rough year than you are to dig your heels in.

The sad thing is you can’t do an ultimatum of put a ring on it or get out because then he will either sabotage the wedding or will hold it over your head for as long as the marriage holds.

I think you should cut your losses with this guy. He is in cloud cuckoo Disney land if he thinks engaged & married life is a happily ever after.

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