Weekend alcoholic husband

[ABC87]

I love me husband….. Monday to Thursday. He is loving , caring, a great daddy to our children (10yr and 6yr). Works full time and we always pay 50/50 on mortgage and bills for the house. We snuggle up on an evening and it’s nice.
However from Friday evening till Sunday he drinks and is pissed, and turns into a different person. He becomes selfish, short tempered and lazy. He is horrible in the things he will say to me and kids and is often still drunk on a Saturday from Friday night that it’s pointless having any kind of conversation with him, as he won’t remember it!
I hate him on a weekend! And I don’t know what to do.
we both work full time Monday- Friday and he says the weekend is his time to chill, enjoy and have a drink…but what about me?! I don’t dare go out with friends and if I do I make sure I don’t get to drunk as I know I am the one who will need to get up the following morning with the kids. Me and the kids constantly walk on egg shells around him as we don’t know if he will be happy or mad. The weekend when we are not at work and the kids are not at school should be family time but it’s not. Friday and Saturday evening once the kids are in bed should be ‘our time’ but instead he sits in the kitchen with a drink and I sit in the living room or bedroom.
I have thought on many occasions about telling him I want a divorce and that am not happy but I would feel so guilty on the children. They love him so much, and they would blame me for ‘kicking their daddy out’. And I do love him…during the week!!
I have spoke to him about it, but every time I bring it up we just end up arguing with him accusing me of accusing him of been an alcoholic or bad husband/daddy, which I never do and he just says if ‘you don’t like it, leave me!’ I once asked him if he would give up drinking for a weekend to save our marriage and he said ‘No’! He says he loves me and he would do anything for me but he says he couldn’t not drink. But also says he doesn’t have a problem.

Don’t feel guilty on the children for leaving. The effects on children living with an alcoholic parent are well documented. You would be doing them a favour if you left. It will be having an effect on them, the best way to protect them is to leave.

hey op!

my dad was like this - it was awful s a kid he would turn on you and snap. It was almost worst because I was expecting him
to be weekday dad :( I don’t want to be a pessimist but just from my experience things did escalate when I was a teenager and because a full Blown, drinking in the morning
alcoholic. It was really sad. I think he had a lot of mental health issues, and they are him up so he drank to just let the mental chatter ease a bit and it just escalated I guess. I don’t really know how to gk about this as I’ve married a very different man to my father - but when I look back I do wish my mum had been able to get him it o therapy or something for the underlying causes of the drinking. She was understandably mainly angry and hurt when he would do it but I think it would make his mood and feelings of isolation worse. I hope this post isn’t tllmuch of a bummer I do t mean to be unhelpful or anything just wanted to give a kids perspective perhaps. Wishing you all the luck in the world

You’re not saving the kids by staying with this alcoholic, you’re hurting them. Walking on eggshells? Being snapped at? Seeing him pissed as a rat? You don’t think that is damaging to them?!

He needs to go. He’s chosen drink over his family.

My dad was an alcoholic. The impact on my life has been huge. The main thing being that I married an alcoholic because it seemed acceptable to me. Therefore my daughter also has an alcoholic father. Do you see how this goes op? Basically , you have to leave. Your kids won't like it , but they'll understand when they're older.