Any advice would be appreciated. I have been married for 17 years and have 3 children in their teens. For the last 12 years I have been having an affair with a man that is also married and has 2 children. He was my very first boyfriend so I have known him for years but prior to the affair had not seen him since I was in my twenties when we got together after we bumped into each other on a night out.
My husband and I had a rocky time from the start of our relationship and it’s only the last few years where he has become more of the man that I wanted him to be years ago but unfortunately my feelings towards him have changed now and even though I love him I’m not in love with him. I sleep in another room and tell him this is because he snores and I never want to be intimate but do so on the odd occasion to keep him happy as this causes problems.
I have always stayed with him for the sake of our children and the financial security because he earns considerably more money then me. Plus I think it would break his heart if I left him.
The problem is now is that the man who I am having the affair with and am in love with wants me to leave my marriage to be with him and I don’t know what to do? He is willing to leave his wife and children to be with me because he says he has always loved me since we were young but I don’t want anyone to get hurt and I am scared. He says he knows it will be hard for a while but wants us to have a future and make our own new memories etc.
I know I’m a horrible person for what I’ve done and i probably don’t deserve to be happy anyway but at the moment I just feel like i’m at a crossroads.
I don’t know if to leave and face the unknown or if to try and make my marriage work as this is of course the easier option.
Any advice would be appreciated from anyone who has been in a similar situation.