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Original poster

Hmmm...coping ( or not) with male pattern baldness, advice please!

19 replies

tigana · 10/04/2008 17:16

DH is 30...

and balding...

and, if the packets of "hair loss reduction/re-growth" pills I found in his bedside cabinet while hunting for lost keys are anything to go by, he is not exactly content with this state of affairs.

We have never really talked about it, and I had no idea he was worried by it.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. But obviously bothers him.

So...how do I approach this?
(PS Am about to drive home so may not be back on MN until this evening...)

OP posts:
Tutter · 10/04/2008 17:21

aw

dh's hairline has been heading in that direction for years (he's 38)

i think he used to be sensitive about it but since i convinced him to be out and proud and have it all (well, most of it) clippered off, he's been more relaxed

maybe post in the dadsnet topic?

Blandmum · 10/04/2008 17:27

regaine does work, a bit.

In the end he is going to have to come to terms with it

Washersaurus · 10/04/2008 17:28

Offer to get the clippers on it - I do my DH's about once a fortnight to keep it trim.

He used to have such a lovely full head of hair, he has coped with his bald spot and thinning and receeding hair quite well I think, and it suits him short.

Original poster
tigana · 10/04/2008 17:30

Have signposted the male contingent in this direction...

How can I help him be ok with it?
Marching up to him and say "your hair is receeding at your temples and you have a small practically-bald patch on top, but I still think you are damnedly sexy" may be a little too direct, given that he hasn't even indicated he is even aware of "it", let alone concerned.

(really am about to drive home, must collect ds from nursery or they will leave him on their doorstep with his bag and coat! )

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 10/04/2008 17:31

Ahh
poor thing
Dh lost all his really quickly over the last 5 years and you know what - it really suits him and I fancy him like mad with it!
He still bemoans it and hates meeting people he hasn't seen for ages as they always comment on it.

All you can do is make him feel secure in the knowledge that you don't care and that you find him attractive

FWIW it's the losing it hta tis so awful (well it wsa for dh) Now it has gone he is much happier

ChocolateRockingHorse · 10/04/2008 17:31

Dh has been losing his hair since he was 24.
Now, at 42, he completely bald 'by choice' as he prefers to shave off his remaining cake frill!

Men do not need hair to be devastatingly attractive, at least to their DPs

CountessDracula · 10/04/2008 17:32

Yes and having it cut short really helps

Also worth pointing out bald/balding men you fancy on tv

pooka · 10/04/2008 17:32

DH was pretty bald by about 23. He started to shave it then, goes for a grade 2 ish.
looks fine. Much better to get completely rid rather than attempt to cover up IMO.

pooka · 10/04/2008 17:33

Remind me, given dh lost his v. early, is it likely that ds will too. Or is it something that travels down the female line. In which case ds would be sorted at my father is late 60s and as far as I can tell has not lost a hair on his hairy head.

Onlyaphase · 10/04/2008 17:41

Travels down the female line I think, so your DS will be fine.

pooka · 10/04/2008 17:44

Huzzah! Not that it matters of course. and no hair suits dh, but I'd rather ds not have to face early hair loss (dh has a tough skin, not so sure about ds).

Original poster
tigana · 10/04/2008 19:31

DH has short hair anyway, and if definitely looks better when it is freshly cut than when he is "due for a cut".
And I already totally agree with all the stuff about not needing hair to be attractive...it's not me who needs convincing!
But..how do I tell him "it" is ok, when "it" is, to use over-used phrase of the year, "the elephant in the room"...?

OP posts:
Original poster
tigana · 10/04/2008 21:21

So...do I go for the subtle approach (and what is that anyway?) or do I tackle it direct and say "stop wasting your time and money of pills, you look gorgeous"?

OP posts:
specialmagiclady · 10/04/2008 21:27

Did you know that the bumps above a man's eyebrows are a secondary sexual characteristic. Reckon that's why i've always fancied bald men. Because they're clearly exposed. [oh Sexgod Paul from uni, I still fantasise about you, in spite of lovely bald husband...sssh ]

Original poster
tigana · 10/04/2008 21:30

Yep...chunky brow bones are a 'masculine' characteristic...dh has these too.
Not sure how effective it woudl be if I settled him down and said "don't worry about going bald, it emphasises your thick skull"

OP posts:
Panino · 10/04/2008 21:42

You're so delicate to dismiss the thick skull gambit...lots wouldn't.

get him to cut it 'down to the wood' and then make a point of focussing on it next time you get all jiggy-jiggy. If he manages to link hair happiness with sex, you're home dry. We are v. easily manipulated by sex and food. It's great!!

Greyriverside · 10/04/2008 21:48

I've been losing mine for ages. If you keep it short the contrast between the different area's isn't so striking.

I've heard theories that the more testosterone men produce (the more male they are?) the quicker the hair goes.

Now secretly I think that's probably not true, but let's all pretend it is and we'll all feel better for it, ok?

Original poster
tigana · 10/04/2008 21:51

How the fnuck do you incorporate "bald-patch-appreciation" into sex?

OP posts:
DrNortherner · 10/04/2008 21:54

My dh had a full head of hair when ds was born 6 years ago - now he practically has none. He hated it. Tried regaine, shampoos and even rubbing onion on his scalp

He now shaves it off and it looks much better. Bald men can be sexy too.

Don't think they ever come to terms with it though. He is now heavily into exercise and cycling and has an extr fit honed bod instead.

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