Hi all, me again
Please read my other threads for my back story to get a full picture.
My OH and I have been together since 2021, and I would say this was initially an intense, full-on relationship where we spent most of, if not all of our time together. Fast forward to now almost 3 years later, and stuff is declining.
I understand there is my pending court case but my OH has from day one decided to stick by me and handled it well, being fierce in his approach to supporting me and showing this to others. Referring to my previous thread of making the decision to have a termination, my OH was not for the idea of having a child right now. Although I was, I had to make the very difficult decision to terminate. His reasons was he is just 26, and wished to have more time with me as a couple, and he wishes to travel and be more selfish with his time. He was not ready for this and was open with how he felt, even going on to say if I did decide to continue he would not want to be the person to up and leave into the pregnancy or when the baby was 6 months old if he felt it was all to much. Following on from a previous thread about my bi polar diagnosis in March 24, this and my pending court case was never mentioned as reasons why the pregnancy should not continue by my OH. My partner has pushed for a diagnosis for my mental health as it was becoming somewhat difficult in our relationship, and he has been supportive in this, coming to appointments and helping with medications ect. Something I did not expect him to do for me, but has continued to be there.
Currently our relationship is strained, we have been arguing quite bit, the termination is over and we have tried to resume a active sex life but it feels like it is just ‘sex’ and what was once something that brought us closer is now, something to do out of routine. OH was always affectionate, physical touch, high sex drive, and always wanted to spend time with me. Lately his actions have withdrawn, he is less affectionate, and spends most of his time watching or playing golf which is his hobby. I then notice this and say something to which he says I’m nagging and he’s getting fed up of things he does being taken for granted. I have been a little distant due to the termination and the conversations unto this, the pending court case and bi polar all affects my low mood. All this he is aware of. During a argument, something that we now do daily when we try to communicate, he admitted to stopping trying as much, that he doesn’t try to make time to do stuff with me anymore, or he isn’t as physically affectionate as its taken for granted. I was shocked to hear this and realised my part and promised to try and make this work. I now feel deflated. I have had a difficult time, and just shy of 6 months after one knock after another, he turns round and says he’s doesn’t try as much. I get his reasons but it hurts. I do not feel he will be there if I am sentenced, and I have tried to in the past speak with him to end the relationship as I feel selfish making him wait if I have sentenced. He argued and said he would and did not want this to be over. I have tried to do right by him. As I feel bad. He was adamant and still is, that he will stick by me.
Recently during a argument he went on TikTok, changed his profile photo to him years ago and followed a girl, to which he said he didn’t realise he had and that the photo was done to spite me.
My thoughts are that he is slowing slipping away, and what was once strong is now showing cracks. I have tried to talk about this but he says I’m just nagging and making arguments. I feel low and can’t keep doing this, he doesn’t talk about the future it’ss just travel and holidays with me. He did use to want children which we spoke about but now he wants to wait 5 years, but says he still wants this with me. I don’t think he is cheating as he is constantly playing golf or at home, but I do think he’s loosing feelings and need to take control over this. Please help :(