DS 18mos, I am going part-time, your advice please!

[llareggub]

I went back to work full-time when my son was 6 months now and I have now negotiated part-time working and will be doing 2 days a week. It will be a massive culture shock.

During my maternity leave I did the whole baby group thing and met up with other women on maternity leave and did something everyday. I spent a lot of time in Starbucks and in music groups shaking tambourines. I suspect I would go a little mad if I returned to that and besides the group I knocked around with are back in work.

What do you do with your children during the day? Obviously I will have cleaning and cooking etc to do, but haven't given up full-time working to spend my days during chores. But equally I don't particularly want to sit around in Starbucks either, although suspect DS wouldn't let me if I wanted to.

What I'd really like from you is an example day. I found on maternity leave I really needed to get out of the house every day or I felt a bit rubbish. I'm also inclined towards laziness so don't want to sit around the house all day, as I would, given half the chance!

Well..
On days when I have ds, after dropping dd off at school we:

• have a leisurely walk home. pop into shops and then the park. Then home, play, lunch, play and then back to school to pick up dd.

While you may not want to get involved in intensive mother's groups, some toddler groups can be fun. Just in terms of the variety of play equipment. Trips to library. Monkey music/tumbletots etc. Swimming. I work 2 mornings a week and ds goes to a childminder who takes him trampolining one morning and to toddler group the other, so I kind of feel that that's enough in terms of clubs for him. Plus he loathed tumbletots and microsports (prefers activities with NO regime).

So we do a lot of pottering in between the school dropoff and pickups.

When you say play, do you mean you play together or does he play alone?

my 18 month old just adores following round her almost 5 year old big brother and his friends...she'll be lost when he starts school in august!

other than that we potter round the house, have friends round for coffee and play, go to friends houses for coffee and play, walk up and down the hill taking ds to pre-school nursery, take ds to swimming lessons, nip into town, go to the park and go to toddlers (it gets better IMO once you're friends with the mums and you let the wee ones play while you have a good chat!)

i did the whole music class, gym class etc first time round, and we did try tumbletots this time but i just can't motivate myself to go when i'm not convinced how much dd is getting out of it!

as far as structuring the day, my 2 have both napped 1-3ish so we tend to have am activities, early lunch and nap and then pm activities.

in conclusion, at 18 months make sure you have a mixture of stuff you want to do (like nip into town) and stuff they love (like duck feeding!)

Ooh, this sounds lovely. Deffo like the sound of pottering and coffee drinking. I've been working hard for years and am quite looking forward to relaxing a bit.

Actually, scratch that. I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was I've been working hard outside the home and now I'll be working hard at home...but my paid work was irritating the hell out of me.

On one of my days off, dcs go to Tumbletots and we have a picnic which they love. When dd2 is asleep in the afternoon, worn out ds1 watches a DVD of his choice, whilst I relax/get dinner ready/MN.

My other day is less organised. I try do my housework very early while they 'help',play & watch a bit of Milkshake. Then we might go for a walk via the postbox, go to the library or the park or we might stay in and play, draw, make something, phone grandma etc.

When it was just ds he used to think it was a massive treat to be pushed round the supermarket whilst I did the weekly shop, but dd hates it with a passion so I have the shop delivered now which frees up time. I also send out my ironing since that takes up far too many valuable hours. I read somewhere, probably on MN, that you'll never wish you spent more time doing the housework, but you might wish you spent more time with the dcs as this lovely time passes so quickly. DS is off to school in Sept and I feel this really keenly.

Enjoy being p/t!

Well much of the time he does play on his own, or he'll play where I'm working (I freelance) or we'll sit down and watch a film or read something. A lot of the time though he just potters about.
So I'll nip into the kitchen and cook, and he'll tag along or will choose to hang around in the playroom, He is 2.5 though, and has always been less full-on in terms of needing a co-player or attention than dd was at the same age.
When it's holidays, they're actually now at the age where they can have good fun together, which is fantastic. I love hearing them chatting. Though of course sometimes world war breaks out over a turn missed, or a toy not shared.
During the winter we do sort of hibernate. We have the walks to school and back and then it is lovely to get cosy inside.
DS has recently started to miss naps, which is much earlier than dd (who still napped until she was nearly 4). He quite often, maybe 3 or 4 days out of 7, sleeps on the way to school and back, so has maybe an hour of sleep then. When he does sleep he goes down fairly early, at 12.30pm ish anf then wakes at 2.30 ish in time for us to trek off to school.
Examples of what we do:
well last week we went to a playfarm on monday morning. He was ill on Tuesday so didn't go to the childminder. On wednesday he went out with my mother in the morning. On Thursday childminder's daughter was sick, so he and I pottered in the garden, did some weeding and he soaked me with the hose. Ditto Friday morning.
Should add that I squeeze in the cleaning/cooking/washing and stuff while he's around. Am full of good intentions to get going on the filing that needs doing but keep putting it off.

I would echo Heated: we have a cleaning team in once a fortnight for about an hour or so. Which takes the cleaning pressure off, because while I still hoover as and when, and dust and so on, I now keep on top of tidying to prolong the effect of the big clean.
Also, the ironing goes out (mostly dh's shirts - I tend to try and buy the rest of our clothes that don't need ironing).

I don't mind ironing, in fact it is my Sunday night thing. A cleaning team sounds good, but now that I am part time I don't think the finances would stretch to it.

Thanks for taking the time to post.

Not part time worker - but SAHM but would agree that too many activities would drive me mad.
DS1 goes to preschool 5 half days a week so DS2 and I structure our activities round pick up and drop off times.
the day seems to slots itself nicely in to 2 hour sessions.
2 hours between get up and preschool
2 hours till we walk to school
2 hours till DS2's nap
2 hours DS1 & Mummy time
2 hours till tea time
2 hours till bed time

I love it,
a couple of hours at local national trust gardens,
a couple of hours in town for coffee / shopping.
a couple of hours swimming
meeting friends
household stuff (cooking cleaning)
random walks round the village
trips to the swings
Monday afternoons is Messy play group I run
Thursday mornings is M&T group I run

all other things mix and match each week depending on weather / cabin fever

We have a cleaner that comes for 2 hours a week, I realised that what she charges is just under the child benefit I get for DS1 each week and that frees up time for me to spend with DS1 so he is still benefiting from it. (does that sound like I am trying too hard to justify it?)

Enjoy sounds like you are going to have alot of fun together

Thanks jingleyjen. I really can't wait but a bit nervous about having so much time to fill!

Oooh it will whizz by... I do think part time is a perfect solution for alot of Mums a few of my friends do 3 days a week it really means they have 4 days at home with the children.