Will I get sentenced and need to terminate my pregnancy?

[Ladieunlucky]

Hi, I’m looking for genuine kind replies. I have already punished myself enough.

I have another thread on here but just the back story. I’m a 33 mum of one, 15 year old daughter. I have a partner of 3 years. I was diagnosed with bi polar at Christmas after a long battle since my teens. I was a manager and had been in the same career since age 16. Unfortunately before Christmas, I stole money over several months during a manic episode. They said it’s 30k+ and I spent this on a holiday and debts. I don’t know why I did this and I’m deeply ashamed. I went to the police station and admitted this. I have lost my career, reputation and all my friends. I have no life and try and stay alive for my daughter. My bi polar medication caused my pill to fail as I was quite sick initially when starting this, and I am now 7 and half weeks pregnant. My daughter lives between myself and her dad and is well. I have explained some what the situation to her of my wrong doings and I’m taking what ever I need too. My partner is also aware and is standing by me.

My question is this. I returned from a 2 month bail period today, after being arrested on 1st April. I have not yet been charged but admitted to talking the money again in questioning. My bail was then extended for another month as of today. My solicitor said this could be to investigate further and it most like will go to crown court as it’s theft from work, and classed as fraud under false representation. I Solictor feels that I could be facing a sentence due to the seriousness of it and there are mitigating factors, mental illness, no previous convictions and pregnancy. I am prepared to do a sentence I know I’ve done wrong and deserve punishing but I cannot go ahead with the pregnancy and do this in jail. My partner has openly admitted he doesn’t feel right now is the correct time to have a baby, due to my health, and facing court. I have absolutely no option but to terminate. My abortion is booked for Monday. I have to be there for my daughter, but have a great support in family.

Has anyone any experience or guidance to give me ? The only thing keeping me alive is my daughter and hope.

You don't need to abort your baby unless you want to

You’ve already posted on this a couple of days ago, and it would have been better to update that thread so people can see advice and support you’ve already been given?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/other_subjects/5083092-will-i-get-jailed-loosing-my-daughter?reply=135549945

Op did you post about this the other day?

Not trying to be nasty.

Just rings a bell and wondered if you'd got any other advice or support?

@Tcateh hey yeah I did thanks, I don’t know how to update the last thread sorry.

This is update since, the pregnancy decision has been left soley with me and I have medication that is pregnancy safe for now x

You don't yet sound certain about your decision to terminate.

Can you put the appointment back a week to give yourself a little more time to reach a decision you're 100% certain is the right one for you and your family?

You need to see this from the point of view of your unborn child.

What can you offer them?

Are you in a mentally, financially position to be a good enough parents to them, providing them with an emotionally stable home where they are kept safe and are not at risk from Adverse childhood events?

It's not about you - that is a very selfish way of looking at it. It should be entirely about your child and how they will be affected by what your life is likely to look like in the next few years. Those early years are vitally important and set up the rest of their life.

Only terminate the pregnancy if that's what you want to do.

Why should it be all about the OP? Why is there so little consideration for this unborn child and what their life is likely to look like?

Has the solicitor given you an idea of the likely length of sentence?

You have a lot on your plate. No judgement from me at all, but in your situation I would not be able to continue with the pregnancy. There are limited places in prisons which admit pregnant women and allow the baby to stay with them for a few months. Being pregnant could persuade a judge you shouldn’t serve prison time for your offence but there is no guarantee of that.
of course the decision can only be yours and I really hope things work out eventually for you.

Yes, I think terminating is the right thing to do in your situation. Sounds like you’re having a hard enough time already.

Oddly I know of two other cases where this happened. Although one person did go to jail he was let out on appeal. Do you know when your case is likely to be heard? Have you paid the money back? In the first instance I know off because the employee paid it back the company chose not to take it to court - would there be any chance you could talk to your ex employer and see if they would drop the changes?

You have one child already who is being affected by your bipolar/manic episodes. Is it fair to inflict this onto another?

Please be aware There is a huge back log of cases to be heard in court, this is because of Covid ...
People on bail are waiting 2+ years for cases to reach court. As all of the people on remand get seen first.
So that's a bit of breathing and thinking space.

Don't make any hasty decisions until you know for sure what the police are going to do.