Sometimes it still hurts.

[jollymum]

i love mn and wouldn't be without it buT OMG sometimes hormones kick in hard. Reading thead re 67 yr old woman having baby, ttc thread etc etc and i want another one..... have just been sobbing to dh, who's looking undertanding and considering limiting me to one glass of wine. I know i don't really, i have four kids and am having a fairly rough family time at the momnt but went into Mothercare yesterday and was welling up. looked at all those little booties etc and felt so sad. there's no reason, apart from being 44 and a half why i can't (apart from dh doesn't want any more and it would probably finish our marriage off ) but hormones hurt, don't they. i fel old and dried up, yet so lucky to have my kids when people here are desperate. My mum told me i would know one day that my time was up and I've felt content with my lot for at least a year now, but sometimes it really hurts. Sory, rant/whingeing over, must stop reading baby thread when they don't relate to grumpy, old old me

Hormones are horrible, they often exceed the functions they were designed for and just gang up on us. Sorry you are feeling bad though.

thanks, i feel so stupid and ungrateful. My kids are horrendous as well, but i have this earth mother image of me breastfeeding, and dressing the little urchin in pink. Did i mention it had to be a girl, how irrational is that and how selfishmind you, the "moo" as we call our only girl has just come home and totally "dissed' me because we are having chicken nuggets (as a easy/treat meal) and her friend's having a lamb roast!! We have loads of roastie dinners, because when cooking for 7 it's easier to do big dinners than seperate stuff, but now they moan at me because we're having "proper" food again, as they call it. We'll have to invent a virtual SLAP icon, so you can all slap me, because believe me, I'll be on the OMG no sleep thread and I'm a evil bitch if I don't get my sleep.

Does not sound easy, poor you. Grass can be greener though. Ds is 9 weeks and I'm longing for a time when he doesn't need to feed from me for up to one hour in every three!

No slap icons required though! We'll have none of that round here!

I hope your 4 children bring you lots of joy to compensate for those hormonal urges. I am 46, have two children age 5 and 10 and TBH am enjoying living in a nappy free, pushchair free house again. I feel I have some freedom back which in turn makes me feel younger again. Ok I miss cuddling a baby and watching a toddler develop, but there are lots to compensate for that. IMO Feeling youthful doesn't have too be linked with the ability to have children.

I am really sorry you are having a rough family time. Do you think you would still feel this urge to have a baby if things were not so rough?

Jollymum i cant believe you call your only daughter "moo".............................So do i she is 2 but has been nicknamed this since she was about 8-9mths old,it was mini moo gradually shortened to moo How uncanny!!!!!!

I've got a moo-moo if that helps with her own little song too (she's 7 months old)

I completely empathise with how you feel .. I can't bear it when I think DD may be my last and I don't want her to grow into the next age clothes either

if it helps .. but I think what you're feeling is normal

i work with kids all day long as well, espcially babis and tbh i thought i'd got over the pangs. just today, maybe it's hormonal, i would so like another girl, not a boy, just a girl. How irrational is that? i would struggle to cope with work, night feeds etc but i want one now. have been doing "eyes" at dh but he's scared now (laughing but scared!) and has gone down the offy for more fags! Also, i work with SN kids and know my risks and how hard and unfair to everyone it could be but....i am still a bit sad

sorry, long day and spelling is awful!

Jollymum, I could have written your post!! I also have 4, with just one girl & have been wondering whether to go for another one. Every instinct says no, esp as 2 of the boys have dyspraxia/ADHD & there is a high chance that any future children would be the same (or worse) even discounting all the other problems that older eggs bring!

With me I'm sure it's linked to DD going to Uni- my younger boys tell me we aren't a "proper" family anymore now that she's gone. (Just had a vision there of more & more replacement babies each time one left home!!!!! )

After that rambling, just to say you aren't alone.