Friend not happy I canceled helping her.

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I have been helping a friend out one morning a week with her responsibilities as gets all too much for her.
ive had to cancel this week due to needing the time to sort my own things out as it’s really the only free time I actually have without my daughter and the commitments that go along with single parenting.
my friend is now very off with me !
she doesn’t have any children and seems to minimise my responsibilities all the time.

She sounds like a user rather than a friend.

Yep, she's definitely a user. You have no obligation to help so frequently or at all.

I’m not sure she’s using me as I get enjoyment out of her hobby also while helping her. She is highly stressed with her work load but it is a work load she chooses. She’s literally none stop from morning to night. She did mention about employing someone but can’t afford it. I had intention to stay consistent for her but I do have things that come up in my life that needs attention too.
maybe I do need to get out of this situation.

I'd stop all together
The nerves

She can choose to do less then rather than having a go at a single mum for not always being available to help her. If you enjoy it do it occasionally, but don’t sacrifice your free time and ability to keep on top of life to support her inability to manage her life.

You’re helping her out. In what way does she help you out?

You have lots on your plate, does she do anything that makes your life a little easier?

Of she wasn't using you, she wouldn't mind if you can't help her. Being off with you shows she expects and feels entitled to your help, rather than acknowledging you don't have to help and being grateful for it. Ignore her pity party, I wouldn't even listen to it. The whole situation she has is self inflicted and she's able to change that. It's self indulgent to whine on about it.

She is highly stressed with her work load but it is a work load she chooses. She’s literally none stop from morning to night

She's a CF!

After that reaction I wouldn't help her anymore.

I guess if you cancelled the night before, then I can understand she could be a bit miffed, if she had certain things she wanted going. But only a bit miffed, nothing more.

However, she has to understand you have a life and daughter and has responsibilities as well. If she is so busy she’s stressed out, then she has to drop her hobby or whatever so she has time to do things.

There’s another thread running about someone asking if she’s being used for weekly childcare. Theres some good advice on there, and you may get a bit of solidarity with it.

I wouldn’t commit to helping on a regular basis. As you have seen, she’s going to take you for granted. Do it occasionally if you want to. Given her attitude though, I’d probably be distancing myself from this ‘friend’, she’s rude and cheeky.

You should change the title of your thread to "my friend is using me as an unpaid lackey"
She's a CF. Bin her off!!

People who don't have kids don't realise how much extra responsibility it is and how much time you don't have. You need to use your time for your things and if that annoys her then she isn't a very good friend.

You realise she’s using you as unpaid labour? Sounds like she needs to hire someone

Ask her to pay you from now on... Definitely using you.

What’s a CF? I really hope it’s not childfree and that you’re therefore suggesting that people without children couldn’t possibly be non stop from morning to night. Parents don’t have the monopoly on a stressful life - in fact, many will have an easier life than some people without children. And I’d also like to point out that, whilst people may be in a stressful job through choice, the workload and stress from having had children is, for most people, also through choice - people make a choice to have children, it’s not imposed on them

Nothing to do with being childfree, so this rant really wasn't justified. You can just look it up, you know. 'Cheeky Fucker.'

Oh brilliant - is that what everyone means when they say CF on here? That’s much better. You usually get people talking about the term childfree in general life, and implying that anyone without kids is living some kind of frivolous existence, with no demands

She’s got too used to you helping out, so now she feels she’s entitled to it. Like the boss who gets so used to you working overtime that they think you’re slacking when you leave on time.

It won’t do her any harm to see that you’re not always available.

i work and responsible for my dd, I also do the school run for my neighbors child so she can work, yes I chose to have a child.
she chose to have loads of animals and also work. She doesn’t actually have to have all the animals if it’s too much for her.
I’m not responsible for her choices but I am for my own and my own has to come first.

Absolutely, we’re all responsible for our choices - don’t feel bad or guilty for not being able to help her anymore. Life is demanding and you can’t burden yourself

Is it the animals you're helping with? Ultimately, she should have less if she can't look after them alongside her work etc. Or pay for someone to look after. I suspect she's been relying on you doing it for free and now she's worried she'll be stuck because she actually can't do everything. It's not your problem at all, but I wonder if she's sat there thinking about losing some of her pets and is taking that worry out on you!
I hope she at least treats you to things or helps you out sometimes to reciprocate, if not then I'd definitely be feeling annoyed jn your shoes. I had a friend who looked after my horse when I went on holiday, she enjoyed it and did it as a favour but we always brought back perfume/booze or something nice from the holiday as a massive thank you because paying a professional costs a fortune and it's a big favour taking up someone's time.
Maybe suggest you won't be able to commit to weekly going forward to force her to get herself sorted, and then youll see if she's a real friend or not

Yes it’s animals and yes I enjoy it and gets me out house in fresh air etc. I do it because I love animals but do not want responsibility of my own as have enough on my plate and it helps her out.
but I can’t help if I have to sort other things out in that time.

I think sometimes people feel like they're doing you a favour when you look after their pets- like they're providing you with a treat or an opportunity! Maybe she's one of those...

Either way don't feel bad, she's in the wrong and hopefully she stops being off with you when she realises this!!

Yes that’s what it feels like.