Please can you advise me at breaking point and dont know where to turn :(

[PurplePiggy]

the long and the short of it we need to find away of either making money or doing something eg selling or well i dunno thats why im asking you. we are so broke at the moment i just cant seem to find away out

We live in a council flat and have a 1 year old lil boy and i am 14 weeks preg. im unable to work as i really cant afford child care and have no family near to help neither does dh. on the 5th of december dh was made redundant so we really struggled to make ends meat. he is still looking for a job he will do anything he even went to tesco and asda etc to work nights as a shelf stacker but they had nothing
we've got bills coming in absolutly every where i ve got barclay card bill of £600 which has gone on food bills, christmas, new car seat (ours got damaged when a car went in to the side of us)
i ve got unpaid gas bill and electric bill my tv licence is due, and i ve had so many reminders on my phone bill that i just cant face opening my mail any more.
i dont go out anywhere, and i have no friends living near.
i know one thing i should do is not have the net etc but id have no body else to talk to. we cant get a loan, im terified of the baliffs coming around. we've done a car boot sale to try and get money but that only coverd a food bill and that was from lidl.

has anyone got any advice. i feel so down and depressed. i ve lost over 2st with worrying and stress already. we've just got bills coming in and have no way of paying them

ps. i ve changed my name on here as im ashamed of the mess im in

First thing... don't be ashamed.

This happened to us when I was pregnant. DH got made redundant about three weeks befor xmas too. Nightmare. Hiding from the coalman when he came banging on the door coz his cheque had bounced etc. Phone was cut off.

I can sympathise with you.

One thing that helped us was ringing the credit card company and getting the interest stopped on the debt (We owed £6,000). That way it didn't get any worse. Cut the card up.

We also contacted the bank and begged them to stop charging overdraft charges. (overdraft was a crazy £5,000 from what I can remember.

We lived on beans on toast, even eating them for Xmas dinner one year.

You will be able to get through this. Stay focused. Cut corners. We stopped buying coal for the heating and foraged wood for free instead for instance.

The biggest cost was getting DH to interviews, but a lot of companies will reimburse you the travel expenses if you ask.

What line of work is your DH in? Could he work freelance for a while?

I cannot think of any other suggests right now, but will post back if I do. I did take us many years to get out of debt and stop the panic feeling over every bill that came in.

No real advice, sorry. Could CAB or one of those debt management places help? Have you spoken to the utilities people and explained your predicament?

Presumably there was no redundancy money? What benefits are you getting, or have they not kicked in yet?

Where do you live? Are there any nice mumsnetters nearby?

Are you getting absolutely everything you are entitled to in the way of benefits? Contact the CAB and check.

I would go to CAB and look into making yourself bankrupt to clear the debts once and for all.

Go to the people you owe money to first and tell them your situation. They would rather know in advance and help you with instalments etc....rather than go to the CAB and debt management places. Once you go that route you are "tainted" and will find future credit very hard. Make an appointment with your local bank manager. You may find there is more sympathy if you seem to be taking responsibility than if you just leave it till it's too late.

What themoon and madamez said...

Can you teach anything from home? Maths and English are often needed. Although I don't know the legal side of this.

don't be ashamed, this sort of thing can happen to ANYONE, most of us are only about 3 pay cheques away from disaster!

go to CAB first, is there a credit union in your area?

if you are at home anyway, have you thought about childminding?

If your DH is looking for work, presumably he is sometimes home. Maybe he could schedule his interviews for afternoons or a few days during the week, so that you could do some temp work in mornings or on the other days, as he'd then be home with your child.

Or he may be able to do some temp work around interviews and looking for permanent job. A temp job could lead to a permanent position!

Definitely keep in contact with those you owe, letting them know - they're much more inclined to be cooperative with you if you do.

CAB is a great place to start for advice. You can also look for Money Saving Expert site on internet. Lots of great advice there as well, they've helped us out a lot!

If your carseat got damaged in an accident with another car, won't your insurance pay for it? Worth checking it out! They may reimburse you.

Don't be ashamed. LOTS of us have been there! Do you get benefits? Can you get any type of assistance?

poor you, I am a struggling single parent and I had to leave a job i loved cos of my son with special needs. I have been using the CAB with help with my debts etc and I have to say they have been brilliant. You have to wait for a while to see thm initially but they will write to the people you owe money to and help loads. They cant take from you what you havent got. I really sympathise. Am going through the same process with the CAB at the moment and i feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Use them. Good luck, you will see there is a light at the end of the tunnel