Hi,
I'm looking for some advice.
In 2020 I made an application for an Arrangements order as co-parenting with my ex was a nightmare. Whilst initially my ex was very angry, the process seemed to work and he calmed down and started properly and safely parenting our child. As a result of this I told the court in our final hearing that I was happy for him to have as much access as he wanted to our son and our son was now having a very positive experience during visits.
As soon as this finished, he changed back to his previous behaviour, continued to speak negatively to our son about me and now he has a girlfriend who does the same.
My son hates going there and is scared of his dad. Would call in the evenings crying to come home (only stays two nights every other week). His girlfriend treats her three kids better than my son (his feeling), my son is reprimanded all the time - He gets amazing school reports for excellent behaviour and I never have to tell him off so I can understand why this upsets him so much as he really isn't a naughty kid.
He has been sworn at, told unkind things about me, witnesses his dad being rude and verbally abusive towards me and doesn't feel he can tell his dad how unhappy he is and is too scared to let me, begs me not to say anything and won't tell me how he's feeling anymore if I do. I don't want to risk my son bottling everything up and feeling like he has nobody to confide in so I don't speak to his dad about it. If I did, I would only get my head bitten off anyway.
I arranged for some therapy for my son but he's still adamant he doesn't want to sleep there and whilst previously saying he wanted to just go for day visits, is now saying he doesn't want to go at all and that he hates it there.
At what point do I draw the line and go back to court for a revised visitation schedule? Will a court listen to my sons wishes as he is only 9? Could I end up making it worse for him?
I get that we have to persist and give them a chance to adjust, but it's been over a year now and I don't know what else to do. His dad won't listen to anything and just says he won't be told how to behave in his own house by a child and his son should just get on with it.
The constant tears when he comes home are heartbreaking.