Friendship

[ivise]

How do u react to people who never give back ? It's not like I am waiting for smth in return but when you are in friendships or any kind of situation I always like to make people feel welcome and happy ,I am a giver but for example I have a cousin , we meet up regularly,our kids love to play together but I have always felt that I am the one always giving , from dinners to drinks , to paying for little things, she has done sometimes but very rarely, I always thought if I invite u , would be nice to next time you the one offering , but what I learned is that mostly things will happen if I invite to my house and end up hosting , and not to compare I am the one in worse situation financially, when it comes to us she always kind of mentions she doesn't have money , bla bla but then she ends up telling me how she ordered stuff or have drinks , not that I care but makes me feel so used ,but our kids loves to play together and I love making gatherings with bits of hosting not just sitting on an empty table ,maybe I am wrong or overthinking ? But I have seen friendships where both parts are equally invested

[OriginalUsername2]

It feels crap doesn’t it. I think I’m more forgiving of it if the interaction is worth it and I don’t sense any greed.

Some people don’t know to reciprocate because of upbringing or just because it hasn’t occurred to them yet.

I know when I was young I had a moments of realising my female friends were doing certain things and I wasn’t (bringing food / gifts to gatherings, etc.) and I adjusted my behaviour.

But some people are grabby in personality. For those people you need to become very boring and stop bothering with the hosting bits and they quickly fade away.

[PlasticOno]

You can only control your own behaviour. If this isn’t working for you stop ‘giving’.