Oh I feel for you both. I'm in a similar situation, she idolises him, police said to get a non mol for his behaviour ( to me ) and they included her but I requested she could still see him. She has grown up till the ageof 8 witnessing his abusive behaviour towards me. Totally normalised to me I thought he was getting better as he hasn't really knocked me about since she was bornt.
It's so hard, you want to project her, I don't actually agree with some comments. I don't think your wanting her to forget her dad, but if someone is consistently causing your DD so much pain that she's taking it out in the shape of physically attacking you and to the point even school have noticed then HE don't deserve a relationship with DD . Of course she deserves a relationship with her dad. I really get you
Of course kids deserve relationships with parent but if a parent is not behaving like one, then does that person deserve to have relationship with kids?
It's so so sad
I think what's happening with you child's dad will actually naturally force the issue
If she is seeing him a couple of hours a week ATM then he's prob a constant in her mind, if he moves away and is as shit as he is now, (obviously she's won't forget she has a dad!) but gradually, as she will not get let down as mutch, (but will be griefving for there previous couple hours a week), it might help her to see objectively, sorry I think I'm projecting.
Are his other kids local? Do you think he will come back.
Yes of course she has a right to a relationship with her dad, does he deserve one with her though?
If I was you, I'd wait and see what happens when he goes, obviosly comfort her, It sounds likeo Youu don't badmouth him anyway but{ they take it so personally if you say anything, even asking if they are seeing their dad, never mind anything else}
expect anger, if you feel she is it a danger to you and herself, I know it's horrible but try to report it, not too report her but they contact school, doc etc and any help you are waiting for is fast fowarded. And more offered. It's not her fault.
(mine is 10 so not record, so easy to say for me)or make a safety plan for yourself in case of aggres to her school, who can refer you and her they may have a family support person who, along with trying to support her, will let you know if any support
DD.
she absolutely deserves a relationship with him but
bYou see her being hurt and let down time and time again which in itself is horrible but from the person she idolises, the abandonment issues showing as violencet's, gut wrenching, . As a result of him letting her down you being physically attacked.
Yesterday DD spoke to him after shhasn't spoken to him for a bit And he was shouting at her and she was sobbing, I grabbed the phone and hung up but then she said something which sent chills down my spine. She wanted to call back and say sorry for him being angry and apologise for me handing up.
She's Wanted To Call Back TO SAY SORRY FOR MAKING HIM ANGRY. She sounded like when I was with him. He did too.
She did did nothing at all except to to her friends for a few days (whem my heart went haywire a week ago, was admitted to cardiac ward for a week( godsend, she worries and is on spectrum, has camhs involvement, she would be so so worried at home ) all Cuz he didn't know them. He then threatened to call police to my mum and was really nasty) didn't offer to look after her himself tho. She's 10, it's not up for to her when she goes to a friend's the descion is mine.
I resisted stopping contact. Did everything I could , he would not ever suggest regular contract, had lawyers sent letters, school family person told me he threatened her. would call saying he would call and see her later, but then at 6n_7pm he can't come to get her. The whole day she will wait and as he won't give a time at all, she will not get out and get in a increasingly bad mood then at
Either barge in or now stand at front door.
and now I wish I had asked the court to decide what was best.
It would not be up to me tho, the court would decide and if they did say it was in her best interests to stop seeing him then he can apply for contact until they are satisfied he has done/well do what they believe he needs to do.
It would not be up to me tho, the court would decide and if they did say it was in her best interests to stop seeing him then he can apply for contact until they are satisfied he has done/well do what they believe he needs to do.
I think what's happening with you child's dad will actually naturally force the issue
If she is seeing him a couple of hours a week ATM then he's prob a constant in her mind, if he moves away and is as shit as he is now, she won't be getting let downi but t's going to be very traumatic for her and she will go through the greif of loosing her dad which will be horrendous for her. Stopping contact when the property won't be much in the way of it won't stop her hurting. I totally get why you wanted advice,
It's a horrible situation, I really hope your daughter is ok, she must be hurting very much, aggression towards you as you are the safe person who isn't going to leave.
Are his other kids local? Do you think he will come back.
YES OF COURSE SHE HAS A RIGHT TO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER DAD, DOES HE DESERVE ONE WITH HER THOUGH?
If I was you, I'd wait and see what happens when he goes, obviosly comfort her, It sounds likeo Youu don't badmouth him anyway but{ they take it so personally if you say anything, even asking if they are seeing their dad, never mind anything else}
expect anger, if you feel she is it a danger to you and herself, I know it's horrible but try to report it, not too report her but they contact school, doc etc and any help you are waiting for is fast fowarded. And more offered. It's not her fault.
(mine is 10 so not record, so easy to say for me)or make a safety plan for yourself in case of aggres to her school, who can refer you and her they may have a family support person who, along with trying to support her, will let you know if any support
Sorry for the long response .
Apologies for any repeated paragraphs. I have a few neurological disorders and at the end of a episode