Elderly Neighbours - do you offer your help?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I am just wondering as there is a lovely 80ish year old next door to us who I have chatted with. She lives alone and has no family nearby. I have seen her struggling with shopping etc and am wondering if I should offer to help her out in anyway?

With our old neighbours we used to take the bins out for them, also bring milk and potatoes and other heavy things for them when we went shopping. Would it be rude and presumptuous to offer help? I can imagine she would want to feel independent but I feel very sad for her.
Just yesterday it was pouring with rain and she was struggling home at a slow pace laden with bags.

i would definitely offer to help - she would probably be very pleased

Great idea - I expect she'll be touched by your offer.

How should I approach it though? I really don't want to offend her. She is a very lively spirited woman.

I would offer to help, how friendlyey ar eyou withher?

Make an open-ended offer and leave it at that. If she likes to be independent she won't thank you for asking what you can do all the time. We had a very independent woman in her 90s living next to us. When we moved in she told us in no uncertain terms that we weren't to worry about her, and if she wanted anything she'd ask . And she did. Fuses or high light bulbs needed changing, she'd ask. Lift to the bus station, she'd ask. If I saw her when I was on the way into town, I'd offer to pick some bits up for her - she always refused help. She liked a chat over the garden fence but would never come in for coffee. We gave her gifts for Easter, Christmas and b'days and she always gave the children gifts too. That was all she wanted.

She died recently and I miss her much more than I thought. Had a good old weep the night I heard the news. Daft really. And I do feel a bit guilty that we weren't forever popping round. But she didn't want that

just be really casual - say something like "how about i put your bin out at the same time as mine" or "would you like me to pick up some shopping for you when i go the supermarker - it is no bother for me"

Make friends with her. imagine one of your friends rendered incapable of certain things by an illness, and imagine how you would treat your friend. Then treat her like that!

Good point (smug?)Coldtitz

I will drop round later and invite her for a cuppa.

0DAMMIT I DO NOT HAVE COLD TITas

they are always warm as they sag nto my tea

pmsl colditz. Sorry.

We have a very independant 80-odd year old neighbour. When I first offered to help her out I just kept it casual and played down the effort on our part "Oh no it really wouldn't be a hassle at all, we're going anyway and it's silly not to do a favour for a neighbour" sort of thing. She was very pleased and accepted. We do things like take her garden waste to the tip for her, DP salts her drive when it freezes. It tends to be things that DP does, so in an unspoken sort of way we make it "man's work" rather than her being too old or frail.

Also, it's reciprocal - we watch her house when she's away and she returns the favour when we're away. And she's a great gardener and often brings around fruit and veggies in the summer - it feels like neighbours helping each other out, rather than us helping her.

thats lovely to offer help

my mum is 80 and has some lovely neighbours, which helps me out too as I look after her a lot