How do I stop my neighbour?

[potato57]

There's a woman who lives down the street who's weird with us. This has been the case on and off for the last five years. This includes making up random stories about us (which we end up finding out from other neighbours, pointless weird things like where she thinks we work, totally invented), spying on us from the public footpath at the back of our garden, curtain twitching at the front of the house, etc. There is literally no reason for any of it as when we moved in a few years ago we didn't know her from Adam and vice versa.

She's middle aged, husband, dogs, has a job as a teacher, kids have moved out but they come to visit and she drives over to them. So definitely not lonely old lady, she has a car of her own, is out and about like a normal person etc. We are in our 30s and not sociable with our neighbours, nor do we have anything in common with them at all.

She's started having all her parcels delivered to our address. And I mean literally puts our address on them, not "leave with a neighbour" instructions. They are big deliveries, bulk buying dog food etc. Then she waits for the delivery guy to drop them off inside our porch, and then immediately comes over, opens our porch door, and picks them up. Sometimes she'll ring the bell, other times not. Why she does this I have no idea. Our porch isn't see through in any way so somehow she knows we leave that door unlocked, and our porch is always full of stuff so it's not like it's a big empty convenient space (maybe another excuse to have a nosy). She is obviously at home herself at the time and has a car to do an Amazon locker delivery if she wants.

She knows we have cameras outside to see all this (because of her) and we're not even her next door neighbour, so why it's always us I don't know, her next door neighbours are in the same time as us and they actually say hello to her whereas we don't because we feel so uncomfortable around her.

Other things she does include:

letting her big dogs off the lead and encouraging them to "knock" (throw their body weight) on our door (as we ignored knocks from her so she upgraded to big dog slamming) - our road is a dead end and there's no reason for her to be near our house since the exit is the other way, not to mention it's not safe for big dogs to be off the lead, especially with kids playing in the street - we spoke to the dog warden about it but he said we'd need to have more neighbours complaining about it.

ringing our doorbell for the parcels she's not put our address on (but has had "deliver to neighbour at [number]" instructions on anyway) as an excuse to talk to us, which we immediately shut down.

basically cutting down the whole hedge in front of her house a few hours at a time (by last summer it was totally bald) as an excuse to be outside to see what we're up to (which is absolutely nothing, just going to and leaving our house in regular working hours like normal people).

before she got cameras I think she used to hang around outside our house, because our dogs' and cats' ears would all randomly prick up sometimes and they'd look toward the door as if someone was there.

I just feel constantly watched, and jump at any noise. I also hate going to or leaving my home.

I have no idea on how we can stop her putting our address on her parcels though, or finding endless excuses to "spy" on us? We don't make any noise or have parties or anything like that and I'm at a loss as to why she's so obsessed with us. We're not interesting and it's not like she's an elderly lady living alone.

We have tried to speak to her about things in the past (doesn't go anywhere because you ask her to stop doing one thing and she invents a new thing to do like it's a challenge). She escalates whether we ignore or try to do something. Then she seems to lose interest for a bit, then she's back again.

Help!?

[eish]

Can you start locking your porch door?

can you speak to her husband?

[Geebray]

She sounds totally unhinged.

Don't you have a front gate you can lock?

[DrunkenElephant]

Ring doorbell and CCTV cameras.

Lock your porch, keep a log of every single incident and either get a cease and desist letter sent from a solicitor and contact the police if it continues. She is harassing you.

She sounds absolutely batshit.

[citrinetrilogy]

She's a fruit and nut case, isn't she?

[TraitorsGate]

Lock the porch, leave a note on the door saying no deliveries to be left at this address. Film her spying on you. Have you got a secure front garden with a locked gate.

[Scaffoldingisugly]

No parcels delivered for x name here.. If any get left go leave them outside your gate. If they get nicked not your problem.

[TraitorsGate]

I would also speak to her husband or family and say that she needs to stop using your address, don't challenge her on your own and record any conversation.

[GR8GAL]

If you can catch the deliveries, tell the postie to return to sender. If your postman is the decent sort perhaps you could instruct him to leave anything with her name on it across the road. Either that or just chuck them in the bin and when she comes looking tell her nothing arrived.

[citrinetrilogy]

Lock your porch door.

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Put a sign on the porch that you do not accept any deliveries addressed to Mrs XXXX please return to sender.
Lock the porch
Refuse to accept any deliveries for her.
Anything intimidating start logging with police non-emergency including photos.

[GR8GAL]

@DinnaeFashYersel

Put a sign on the porch that you do not accept any deliveries addressed to Mrs XXXX please return to sender.
Lock the porch
Refuse to accept any deliveries for her.
Anything intimidating start logging with police non-emergency including photos.

Perfect. "Mrs XXX not at this address. Return to sender". Please post the doorbell cam of her face when she reads it for our collective enjoyment 😂

[muddyford]

Lock the porch door for a start. Any parcels that get left and you find them first, take them in, arrange with sender for them to be collected, tell them your address is not to be used again . I would log every incident and tell her that you will be reporting her for stalking.

[mirl]

I would ask her to stop harassing you, make sure it's all within earshot of your camera. Inform her if she doesn't stop you'll be contacting the police. This is harassment and, if you have things on camera along with proof of the deliveries with your address on, I'd expect the police to be having a word with her.

[DrJoanAllenby]

Lock your porch and a sign saying any delivered for Mrs so and so are not to be left here as she does not live here.

If you are in then refuse delivery and tell courier to return to sender as you don't recognise the name. Don't say you know who it is or engage in any gossip.

You do seem to know an awful lot about her so presumably you do know more about her than you've said.

Why can't you have it out with her ?

What does her husband say to this behaviour?

[GR8GAL]

You could always go down the route of opening the packages "sure they had my address on them, I assumed they were gifts!"

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I can't believe you've let this go on for five years and haven't yet locked your porch. Any deliveries get left on the pavement and put a sign up saying her name and that this is not her address. Speak to the police. I'd do that because she is harassing you. She's clearly not right but you really do need to be proactive here and allowing her access to your house is the first thing you need to knock on the head.