Supermarket and tantrums, what would you have done ??

[CrackerOfNuts]

Was in Asda today and suddenly the sound of a child screaming his head off, interupted the sound of my own child screaming his head off.

A woman was stood with a trolly and a boy of about 4/5 who was having a huge tantrum. She was trying to get him to sit in the seat of the trolly (personally i think he was way too big but anyway), and he was having non of it.

As I walked past with Ds screaming in unison, I heard a woman ask the lady if she was ok and if she needed any help getting him into the seat.
The woman thanked her but refused the help.

So, if this had been you with the toddler, would you have been glad someone offered to help or would you have wished they had minded their own business ??

Would any of you offered to help ?? I don't think I would of as I always assume that people want to pretend on one has noticed their child kicking off.

Personally, I think i'd have also thanked the person, but refused out of sheer embarassment.

I have thanked and refused before.

I'd offer to help yes

If offered help I'd smile and thank and probably refuse but not out of embarrassment.

A boy you believe is 4/5 could be either much younger or have any number of SN

No I would not have been glad. I would have been embarrassed. What was she actually going to do to help? - hold his legs whilst she shoved him in?

I do realise that he could have been older or had SN, but I wasn't commenting on his behaviour or how the lady dealt with it, just wether you would have offered to help, or accepted help in that situation.

I'd probably have said "Yes, you can take him for half an hour, point me in the direction of the coffee shop"

Seriously, I think it was a nice thing to do. So many times one or other of mine have been having a meltdown and I've been tutted at, sneered at or suffered the mutters of "that child needs a good smack". I would LOVE a friendly smile and a show of parental solidarity. I'd be embarassingly grateful.

I wouldn't mind someone offering - it is better than people tutting in a disapproving manner!

Also, maybe the child was younger than you thought. My friend had a 3 year old DD who looks a lot older. She said that it's awful if she plays up a bit as people assume she is a lot older. I do try and get a 2 seater trolley for mine, even though DS is 3 1/2. I get my shopping done much more quickly and he tends to behave himself and chat to me and DD. If he's on foot I spend the whole time persuading him to stay with me and it takes ages to do the shopping.

I usually try and smile at the mum in a supportive 'poor you' sort of way! Hope that no one thinks that I am giving them 'looks'!

And I know I used to try to get mine into a trolly when they were too big/old for it , because I simply couldn't manage 2 kids with autism and a trolley with a wonky wheel.

I wouldn't have offered help for fear of getting a mouthful from someone who didn't want some help.
However, I would have smiled in sympathy, especially if in the situation you have described by own child was kicking off in the trolley as well

I don't let my DS1 walk round the supermarket without being in the trolley, he and DS1 sit in the trolley together, the only fuss we have at the supermarket is finding a double seat trolley as there aren't many of them.

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A random dog walking woman in a car park once helped me get dd into her car seat. It was fab of her to offer help and I'd probably still be there with a thrashing, screaming, hysterical dd 6 months later if she hadn't!

often as im passing similar situation not quite as old tho i will say shall i feed her/his egs through as it is v tricky getting a wiggly wormer toddler to put his legs thru the gap in the trolley-i was vv cross in morrissons at xmas tho some dumb woman had jammed her dughter in the trolley and wedged her legs in with coat sleeves the child was crying in pain- she was shouting her head off at the child too........