ear piercing MIL dont want to post on the other thread

[HooversBrokenAgain]

I have to be brief. I have started this to get a bit of privacy should my h continue dipping into the other thread.

dh did not give actual consent he knew I would hit the roof- I now know this from reading an e mail from the MIL this AM(I did not believe him so he showed me the contents). He also had a go at her (at the time)and told her that I would be apoplectic and her words were -that was for him to control me- the email only apologises for making him upset (beggars belief).

Without his knowledge I have forwarded the e mail to my account (I am very cautious at the moment)
The earrings are out, the doctor was ok about it but the nurse was amazing and suggested I tell the HV too(she was horrified). I think she did believe me (I was very upset) I am going back to the doctors on Friday at my request. DD has been fine, I don't think she has really noticed.

I am worried about going to the poilce but I have told me h that I am going and I told him that I have photos and the earrings.

Do I have to see the police to gain a restraining order? I want to be absolutely sure that my MIL cannot wriggle out of this. I am sure I would feel the same after my anger subsides.

H has crapped himself. I know he was worried about it and did not consent- she said that she was taking dd to see her perfume bottles (which she often does) He thinks we should not see them again (he had agreed to this- although he will continue a relationshio- I could not give a damn) He is shocked at the level of response here. I think it has made him see the light. That is how it appears.

I stayed with my sister last night as I was upset and rather immaturely I wanted to scare the hell out of h, it worked. So he had to sort out the other dcs and has not gone into work today.

I want to shock MIL and send her a very direct message that as my dc's mother should be respected, this was a step too far.

Yes NAB I know I wish I had a mum around too. For support and help my sister is amazing but very busy, it's just not the same is it? I was quite excited at having MIL so close for about 6 months until I twigged how wrong everything was.

Bless, you poor thing. I think you've been amazing about this, it must have been heartbreaking. WELL DONE for sticking to your guns, sounds like the outcome will be best for everyone and well done to DD for being so brave!

I thought my MIL and I would be close, I invited her to come wedding dress shopping, involved her in everything when pg, but she just doesn't do emotions or proper talks. when she was moaning I told her it was hard living with depression, she said it was hard for everyone else too.

my mil is in her country so thats good for me. Please cat me if you wanna chat trust me i have had the same problems!

Please persevere with the police angle, if you possibly can . i think it's important to send a message to other mils/or other relatives contemplating this kind of physical abuse. and obviously it's important to get this resolved purely from the perspective of your peace of mind.

Am really pleased your DD is ok.

Am also pleased that your DH is now taking on board that what she did was so so wrong. It might be worth you pointing out to him (and then making sure he points out to HER) that if he had wanted to marry someone from his own culture who would submit to the traditions that your MIL wants to enforce than he could have done so. He didn't - he chose to marry you - NOT someone from his parents' culture. By doing so he accepted that the traditions would not necessarily be followed. She needs to accept this too.

I hope all goes well for you.

Been following this thread (and the last one). Just wanted to express my sympathy, so glad your DD is OK

What did she use to pierce them?

I too am wondering how DH did not know something was up. Surely she must have been screaming in agony?

Nappyaddict - her own earrings (likely unsterilised). Doesn't bear thinking about.

Have just read both threads and really feel for you, your dh and the little hoovers. I cannot begin to imagine how you must have felt and still be feeling. I think I might have killed if I had been in your shoes so I commend your sound judgement and restraint. As to police, restraining order etc. Do what is in your heart and your gut, it really is so hard to do the wrong thing. As for the ears themselves babies heal tremendously well on the whole and there should be very little scarring that will be apparent in years to come. But remember that scars take about 2 years to completely settle down so don't be surprised if over the next 6 months they look red and a bit livid (depending on her skin colour of course)
My heart goes out to you and yours. I am very lucky and have a good MIL, but I know that if my mother was alive there is no way I would allow her unsupervised access to my dds.
Good luck and take care

Glad to hear that your DD is ok and that you are not backing down on this.

Good luck.

Glad your dd is okay and your dh finally got a grip. Huge hugs to you and your dd, take care.

Just posted on your other thread but wanted to add that I'm really glad you are keeping it all on record and treating it as the assault that it is. Your earlier comment about your MIL telling your DH to keep you under control just shows how little respect she has for you. She needs to be taught a lesson.