Where to live - town or village?

[HereWeGoRoundTheMulberryBag]

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No experience but would say it won't be the same as you remember.
-There will be fast traffic making the walk on country lanes very dangerous (no pavements). -The village fetes will have been replaced with boot fairs.
-Driving to school is awful- especially if there are problems, plus you'll never park.
-the sibling rule for school admissions doesn't apply if you've moved further out, so you may not get your 18 month old into the same school as your other children.

I grew up in a village/small town but now live fairly centrally in a small city, so I'm afraid I don't have that much experience to share, but:

I think most people DREAM of living "on the edge of a beautiful small city"!!!! Currently you can walk to all the stuff you need to do in town and I would seriously not underestimate how lucky you are in this. Your children are also at an excellent school. Not something to be sniffed at either, given all the other threads on problem schools here on MN! What's stopping you going out for walks down those country lanes at the weekends / in late summer evenings by popping in the car for 5 minutes to get there? I know it's not the same as having it all on your doorstep but I think probably the deciding factor is: how often will you be wanting to walk down a country lane enjoying nature (once a week perhaps?) and how often will you be having to struggle to get into town to school / work etc (daily...)? The faff of it all may get you under the weather when it's literally bad weather (don't need to tell you it's always nice and sunny in the countryside ...)

Nice to be able to have the choice, though. Wonder what others with more experience will say.

We live in a small town. I like being able to walk into town and to playgroups with the buggy. I do not like the idea of always getting in the car. We live near enough to the countryside to go for cycle rides and see goats and sheep but still easy throw to costa coffee. There are two senior schools in our town. I think people have a rose tinted view of village life. Have you thought of moving to a smaller place?

I think in this case the grass is greener.

Your dcs when a bit older may not thank you for living in the back of beyond and they want to play with their school friends, go swimming or have to rely on you for a lift into town. Mum = taxi service. Because there is little to do in the evenings, older teenagers' past-time seems to be drinking with their friends and causing mild nuisance. Village life is lovely for my dcs whilst they're little but already planning the move back towards the big smoke for secondary level. In fact what you describe is ideal!

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I moved from London to a small Surrey village and I'd say if you live on outskirts of a nice town you love, stay put!

also, when your kids are older they will NOT want to be in a villag, they will gravitate towards town

Just scrub off that pink layer of plastic over the top of them and you'll be sorted! It sounds as if you live in a very good in-between location - ideal for well, everything, really! Though I know what you mean about "being" a country person - the question is whether the reality lives up to the idea.

I just think there's a real danger that people overestimate how much they'll actually USE their new gadget in the kitchen / outside garden oven / house with a mooring for a boat when they don't actually sail / (*delete as appropriate ) I wonder how much time you'll actually spend doing all the country stuff besides all the running round after DC's which you do now!

I grew up in a small village and am lucky to still have a base there cos mum and dad still live there. It's great, I can visit with my daughter, do all the country stuff, feel part of the community etc and then come back home to my town and get a takeaway!

i know what you mean about hankering after the country stuff but I have realised that I love living in a slightly more urban environment. It's great to be able to walk, drive, catch a bus, a train, scooter to the library, hang out in cafes, go shopping, swimming etc etc.

I loved living in the village until I went to secondary school when I really resented having to get a bus/lift to see my friends, who could just pop in and out of each other's houses.

I would only live in a village if I had a really good reason to be there - eg my job was there and was something idyllic and outdoorsy. I would hate to live there and have to commute to work. And from what you say, I don't think your desire to be 'a country person' would be satisfied unless you could do that too!

I thnk it depends on the village and the location in the village tbh.

We lived in a beautiful quiet village - village shop, bakery and pub 15 mins walk along half paved half grassy bank country lanes. But as the village was not on the main route to anywhere the country lanes were very quiet and the occasional cars that did pass mostly were peole living in the village and adhered to the slow speed policy.

I loved making an outing of walking to the village shop and bakery to get bread or milk with my toddler ds. It was relaxing and just lovely. We were just 20 mins drive from the nearest town and I tended to go in early when i needed to anyway as knew parking would be an issue on certain days at certain times.

I loved driving back out of the town and into country roads when returning home night or day. I just felt like I was breathing a sigh of relief on returning home.

Our village an an annual fete and I planned to join the village art class when ds's were a bit older and I had time but alas we moved (DH's job) and now live in a susburb of a large town. I hate it and can't wait to have the opportunity to move back into the countryside.

I really think its such a personal decision. I can quite happily live rurally while I have friends who admit it scares them (DH away n business a fair bit but I have never been worried about being on my own with children over night for a few days or a week)

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Oh I hope so! I am on Primelocation.com daily searching for longed for properties!

Selfish as it seems, I want to be back living in a village or rural location by the time ds's are teenagers for the simple fact that I will have to drive them everywhere, pick them up etc and possibly naively think i will have a better chance of knowing where they are and who they are with. Or with my own rose tinted glasses on, they will have friends in the village and will be able to walk the few yards through country lanes and across a field to and from ther friends houses

don't know if that will pan out geek3 - when I was a village-living teenager I had to stay at town-dwelling friends' houses when we went out cos I couldn't get home, that meant I could get really drunk and misbehave and mum and dad never saw it!

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think mine were glad to palm me off on someone else's parents by then, Mulberry...

did you go to a village school Mulberry?

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Having lived in urban and rural and now in the back of beyond- please think past the rose coloured specs. Sometimes it is hellish being out in the country as the country has changed so much.
We have the nightmare of bloody windfarms springing up everywhere so it is an industrialisation of the countryside on a big scale for starters.(What is ethical about 200,000 tons of concrete to keep each one up?)
Neighbours can be crap - usually folk escaping the rat race, pumping up the local house prices then discovering it was not such a good idea after all...social isolation, lack of amenities, snowed in, no shops, no activities...
Your kids might just be bored out of their skulls and just because it is rural don't think we do not have a big 'skag' problem out here because it is rife everywhere.
Good luck with your decision but it is just to say that it can be hard going. Look at it realistically.

maybe you should hold that memory. Mulberry....

but I'm starting to feel mean about putting you off country life, a bit of me does understand the goat and egg fantasy

We went for a weekend away in a small place outside Oxford. We had to drive through about 5 villages to find somewhere to buy a newspaper. The villages seemed very soulless to us. I don't understand how a village can't sustain a corner shop?!