How do you manage your time???

[sb34]

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You are not the only one SB34, I sometimes feel run ragged and when I look around to see what I have accomplished during the day all I can see is one big mess.

Today I hoovered downstairs and mopped the floors which was a massive accomplishment but most of the time I would die if someone unexpectedly came to visit. I seem to run everywhere and am so scatty, recently have been known to do things wearing odd shoes etc.

I am a SAHM but still don't feel like I have any free time (although probably should spend less time on Mumsnet), feel that I have very little time to spend with DS1 & 2, life just seems to be one massive round of cooking (although poor DH has been left to this one most evenings recently), clearing up and feeding DS2. I would like to take more care of myself, I rarely wear makeup and when I do I don't take it off before going to bed because I am too tired, I am always full of great ideas of blowdrying my hair and looking glam but it just doesn't happen.

'A mother's job is never done' - never was a truer word spoken, you can't even go to your bed at night and expect to sleep until morning.

Mind you we wouldn't have it any other way!

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You could try the flylady www.flylady.net/ which I think has been mentioned on here before.

I get frustrated with not achieving enough too but when I'm honest with myself I generally find it's because I've spent too long thinking about all I have to do and feeling overwhelmed and therefore procrastinating rather than just getting on with it! And I definitely achieve a lot more when our computer is kaputt. I've been trying not to go on here as often recently which is why I haven't been posting as much but here I am at 4.30am, unable to sleep since 2am and posting like mad (when I could be doing my essay if I wanted to do something useful!).

Flylady advocates breaking things into small chunks and it does help when I've tried it. I don't try it often enough though.

And I daren't let anyone into my study....

Gosh SueW. Really surprised to see someone up and posting at this time. Reassuring to know its not just me! Have been up since four with very itchy little girl, we have now given up and are watching sleeping beauty on sofa (well she is!). Of course it is typical, as tonight I am off to the meet up and was hoping on a really good night's sleep. Well really, what did I expect?

Talking of managing time, thinking I should use this time well and write my christmas cards now, but I will probbly just end up thinking about it, and still be writing them the week before!

Managing?? Time??? What on earth do you mean?

Demented, I had to snigger at your comment "I would die if someone unexpectedly came to visit". I did have an unexpected visitor yesterday. Luckily it was SB34 and we always feel better after seeing each other's houses

I find doing things in short bursts helpful, and I try to do a thing,when I think about it ,otherwise I just forget.
My aim this weekend is to do the cards and wrap the presents. I'll be so busy as soon as December starts, that it will get left till the last minute, like last year!!Did manage to finish two nativaty costumes yesturday,that was all in short bursts.
I took an extended maturnity break when the ds's were small, and got nothing done at all as a SAHM, I'm certainly better when I have a time limit on things, and have to pack things in around work.

I am told that, like with SueW's flylady's chunks, you can achieve quite a lot by writing lists. Well, not just writing them, obviously, doing the things on them - if you have a list of 20 or 30 tasks (as opposed to, eg, "clean house" you put hoover room A, B, C,) you can tick quite a few things off by the end of the day and you feel like you've got somewhere. I have done it occasionally, when I have some things I HAVE to do and mustn't forget, and it does work...

(I have found that if your PC breaks down it makes quite a difference too but don't have the willpower to switch it off more often.)

Re the unexpected visitors - if you leave your hoover out all the time it looks as if you were just going to do it when they arrived .

I like to do lists but my trick is not to put too much on them otherwise it just gets depressing when too much stuff gets put on and only a few get crossed off.

I find writing a list of no more than 10 things to do in the week and include "nice" things I want to get done too (like write an email to a friend, or finish a book etc). I then alternate stuff on the list (like I might do half an hour of cleaning, then half an hour reading my book, before going back to another half hour of cleaning - time segments depend on how much total time I have and what my boredom threshold is that day!).

Still not brilliant about getting things done, but it seems less painful this way for me, and psychologically friendlier!!!

Time...ah yes I remember that, something of which I used to have a lot to spare, and did absolutely nothing with...and now I have none to spare and wish I hadn't taken it for granted all those years ago!

Not doing housework helps ... well obviously I have to do some but some things are rarely done - as long as you can't see it then it doesn't matter! I've found it a bit easier now ds is at preschool nursery 2 mornings a week so at least I can get a bit of paperwork done provided dd is reasonably happy.

My philosophy is to do as much as I can with the kids as they will appreciate that more than the kitchen floor being spotless. Eg yesterday I did some baking with ds when I probably should have been clearing out a cupboard, hoovering, writing my Christmas cards, zzzzzz .....

Mumsnet is essential of course for psychological health

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For the last couple of years, I have my ironing done by an agency, and have recently got a cleaner - those few hours make a big difference, and psychologically I feel better. The rest of the housework seems less daunting when someone has already taken care of the basics. (I work part-time and have 2 boys aged 3 and 1, so find making time for everything quite a challenge)

Demented you took every single word right out of my mouth! and like sb34 I feel every bit of me is suffering as a result fat blobs zits and my action lists became lists upon lists and dh started commenting about them so much and with at times the lack of ticks for things done it got too depressing at times. Now I just stick to daily lists when something MUST be done otherwise I fear that in the rush I will forget. then again I've been to three funerals in the last three months and sometimes it helps to forget about how awful everything looks if someone was to pop by well I wont die but
I would feel so much worse than I already do.

sb34, I'll be surprised if anyone DOESN'T feel like this!

The only thing I don't let completely slide is sleep. I really need my sleep (used to get 10hrs per night AND weekend naps pre-dd), so I just ignore absolutely everything if I need to get sleep and go to bed at 9pm if necessary. At the end of the day, no sleep can put me in a really bad mood but eating ready meals/not washing my towels/kicking the dust bunnies under the sofa doesn't.

Small chunks is good though because you can feel you've achieved something - praise yourself (and get dh, ds and dd to do same) when you clean the toilet, forget the rest of the bathroom is a tip.

I really don't achieve very much at all most days. I'm the SAHM of a nearly two year old and we do try to get out of the house and do something nearly every day, but other than that the days just pass in a sort of blur. I tried making a long list of things I wanted to do a couple of weeks ago, but it was just too depressing, so I ignored it. I find the opposite approach is more encouraging. If I go through a phase where I feel I'm doing nothing at all, I start with a blank sheet and write down everything I do after I've finished it.

Agree with everything said already except the going to bed at 2 in the morning! I usually go to bed at about 9.30 - I get less done but am more rested (or can cope with being woken up 3 times a night by various children better!) if I go to bed when my eldest son finally drops. Another tip is to take out my contact lenses - can't see a bloody thing but usually its just as well!

I find that the thing that works best for me is to have certain days allocated for certain chores. OK I know that this sounds very dull and unspontaneous but the best thing is that DH also knows whats on for each night and so if I'm unavailable he can take over. I'm not a slave to the routine but it certainly helps.

I am also a fairly active, fidgety knd of person so I do tend to get on with things. But I can get fairly grouchy if it all seems to be getting too much. I do most of it when DS is in bed but certain things he enjoys we do together. Also I find if I take him out a lot then the house doesn't resemble a bomb site quite as much...

My best tip is to have lots of good storage. Then tidying up is easy, and the place stays tidy!s

I take my dd out for her lunch to a local supermarket with a cafe - it sounds a bit mean but I figure that is less strain on them to clean up after her - and she generates a lot of food mess - than it is for me. ButI am lucky to have this cafe only a short walk away. A walk around your home with a bin liner and a hard attitude can work wonders too - chucking stuff out is psychologically so liberating (no, not the baby), and the less you've got the less there is to clean (or feel guilty about not cleaning), and the more space you've got to put other stuff.

I don't personally like letting the house go to pot completely as it depresses me, but I have areas where things can be chucked out of sight - our bedroom mostly. I also only have one child which is probably a doddle compared with having 2 or more.

I don't have a dishwasher and have been wondering if this would help as much as some friends say it does? DP loathes and detests washing up, and groans so much about doing it that I sometimes avoid asking / telling him to. Which only raises my stress levels as I then resent the fact that he is getting off lightly. I do try always to make sure that he does something though, no matter how much he moans, as I don't want to end up being too much of a martyr.

Finally, if it was a choice between bed before midnight or the housework I would choose bed any day.

Wipes. Wipes for bums, wipes for cleaning highchairs and kitchen surfaces, wipes for cleaning my face in the evening (forget cleanse, tone and mosturise). Shame there isn't a wipe to tidy the place, do the cooking and satisfy my husband's more amorous needs.

droopydrawers, dishwashers are absolutely brilliant, get one, get one! (Then you can have arguments about who's going to empty it .)

droopydrawers, dishwashers definitely help as long as you have enough crockery/ cutlery to keep you going until you've filled it!We've just had my parents to stay for the weekend and my brother, SIL and 4 kids up for lunch on Sunday as well- we only had to wash some of the pots and pans The only time we argue about the washing up now is when I've loaded the dishwasher and dh comes along and reorganises it, only managing to fit in the same amount of stuff that I've got in!

Very interesting thread ... pre child days my time management was thus ... Mon - Fri have enough sleep so that I could get through the week at work ... Fridays and Saturdays early evening - pamper myself for the forthcoming night out, Saturday afternoon wander round the shops to find something nice to wear for that night ... Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings - didn't exist because I was still in the land of nod ... housework ... erm? Supermarket shopping ... only when there was NOTHING in the cupboard AT ALL ... lots of time for friends and social life - nothing else mattered!

So SB34, unfortunately I have very little advice and like those of you on this thread I still find 'managing' a home, husband and child a herculean task and often just ignore it all and take DS out to places so that I don't have to deal with my mess! ...

SueW ... have just checked out flylady.net because I am the world's most disorganised person and sometimes get really down about it ... and I just wondered whether you have managed to get yourself organised using that site?
Would like to try but don't want to bother if I am going to get annoyed with it in a week's time and get stressed if I don't complete tasks on the right day IYKWIM ...