Hi all,
Apologies for 'trespassing' in this forum. I am not a mum but I am really keen to learn about decisions around motherhood and I hope you guys will be able to help me.
A bit about me. I am now nearly 38 and childfree. However, in the past couple of months something hit me and I have started wondering: should I have a baby?
Most of my adult life I have not spent much time thinking about this. I guess my default was: no, I don't see myself as a mum. I am a bit of a rebel when it comes to inequality and for me parenthood has always been inherently unequal (with mothers having much more responsibilities than fathers). At least this is a model I have been mostly exposed to and it made me reject the idea of becoming a mother. It just seemed to be against my beliefs and I just did not want to conform to the norms of the society. I might seem like a bit of a weirdo, but don't worry, I am rather average on the whole:> These are just some preconceptions of mine that only recently I have started unpacking through therapy.
I am now starting to think that I have wasted a lot of my life and a thought of potentially having a baby started to appear. I started to appreciate the beauty of mother-child relationship and started wondering: is this something that I want for myself? Many feelings have started flooding me in recent weeks and I started to doubt myself and blame myself for not trying to unpack my beliefs and feelings earlier on.... Having said so, my thoughts about having a baby are not something I can easily process and understand (I generally don't connect with feelings; I am driven by reason and thoughts). I am now very torn: is this feeling strong enough for me to decide on becoming a mum?
Anyway, this is not the point of this post. What I am seeking is help from you - the mums. I would love to hear how you knew that you wanted to become mothers. It would be particularly helpful to hear from those who had their babies a bit later, and perhaps also struggled with a decision on motherhood. Is it something you just know? Did you even THINK about this or was this purely a FEELING?
If anyone is happy to share their experience, that would help me very much.
Thank you all you lovely ladies.