child benefit - what do you spend yours on?

[PersephoneSnape]

I apend mine on (part of) the weekly food shopping for me and 3 dcs, ds2s ballet lesson and dds pocket money. does anyone tuck it away in an account or spend it on wine and handbags?

Agree expat

My mom gave us what she could, but it didnt stretch to such luxuries! More like a roof over our heads, clothes, food and toys and a cpouple of(UK) holidays!

Spot on, carmenelectra!

I cannot believe the number of people I worked with - PhD students for ages and ages, whose parents went into debt or used their retirement to buy the perpetual student a flat.

And the student let them do it?

I'd live out of a tent before I allowed my parents to get into debt or use the retirement they are supposed to live on in their old age for my bad luck and irresponsibility.

[rolls eyes]

Lol at expat!

Gosh when i left school, my mother asked when i was gonna start giving her some housekeeping money! Think she would have keeled over if id mentioned house deposits or allowances for me to go to uni!

We are not well off, but I too put ds' benefit away for when he wants to travel the world or go to Uni, it's not in his own account as I think 18 is too young to access an account with quite a bit of cash in and I'd be scared he would spend it in something crazy!

I'm not suggesting we save a full deposit for them or pay there way through uni totally, but it would be put to better use that way than me spending it on things we don't need now. My children now the value of money. They both get weekly pocket money, but are expected to do a few chores to "earn" it. They are too young to know about the savings now but will be brought up not to expect handouts, and are by no means spoilt.

I have to say I spend mine on whatever the kids need, shoes, clothes, after school clubs etc - DH saves it as he puts money in an account for them with his work to out them through uni - I don't pass it onto him though and he has never relised this so am quids in at mo!

Sorry to be so disagreeable but LOL at 'when he wants to travel the world' as well!

Is that another parental responsilbilty now , travelling the world?! Im still waiting to do that myself. ID love my kids to see the world and we do love travelling as a family now, but if they wanted to take 'time out' to do it, id expect them to fund themselves! We like to go to different countries now on holiday etc but if they wanted to go backpacking or something,then then they would have to start saving. And believe me, i am not tight. I am the biggest softie at spending on family but i dont even consider providing for any of that shit!

There's a chap at Uni (he's 26) who ahs just allowed his Mum to sell her home (and she's disabled and not able to work to buy another) to pay for his Phd - really winds me up! I just don't understand how someone can be so dependent at that age. OTOH though there is a 20 year old whose aprents have refused to help completely (both drop outs in India), and who really does struggle- most parents from what I can see take a pride in contributing on the basis that their kids take out the loans / have a job. Loan doesn't even cover student digs though so it would cost an awful lot to maintaina student at Uni totally. Mum didn't help sister at all on the basis that neither me nor the other sister went to Uni (both enrolled now several years after), and sister ended up having to leave as she was taking a vocational course that meant she had to do shufts as part of the degree and she couldn't find a job to fit in with her required hours- teaching, vet care, social work, similar courses are somewhat notorious for that (though seems to depend on institution).

Leaving it later has been a bit easier I guess- DH p[ays for me now, and i will pay for him to do the same in 18 months (whoever at Uni has kid care responsibility).

We will help if the ds's make it to Uni, but that will be from our income then and in a limited fashion, and based upon their willingness to contribute as well. if they don't mind getting a job, we don't mind covering that last few weeks of term sorta thing.

Carmenelectra - that is your choice, no need to imply that the people who are saving for their childrens future are wrong.

Personally I don't consider wanting to save a little to give my children a helping hand a responsibility, rather something myself and DH want to do.

carmenelectra: "Oh i agree, its lovely to save a bit for the future, but house desposits? Thats hardly a 'bit' these days. Would have to be thousands!"

Just quoting the sums. If you put all the child benefit into, say, an averaging performing unit trust, over 18 years, the child could theoretically (based on historical growth of equities over that period, though by no means guaranteed) get around £35,000.

Not small beer. For those who need to use child benefit for living expenses, you should not feel bad (not that you will). It is what the benefit is there for. It is not the child's but the carer's, as someone else said earlier down.

Well Carmen, fair enough, I travelled doing odd jobs here and there and I think it's more enjoyable that way as you tend to appreciate it more.
But if DS at 18 wanted to travel for a year around the world, I would def put some of that money for his flight at least!
He is a mix of races and it's really important for me that he goes to explore where his family comes from (if he is interested of course) or if he's not, he could have it to pay for some of his Uni accommodation or something, or for useful things like that.

I actually really enjoy putting the money away thinking of him travelling around Tibet or somwhere like that one day, ahahahah, at least I've got motivation!

yes we worked it out abotu 30k.
No, we dont plan to give her a full 30k, not sure how much we expect to end up at, as obvsiouly when she gets older, some of the money will be going towards activities.

My mum always wanted to charge us board when we were at home and working, not to put through to the household but to save in secret for us, to help us save without realising it. She just coudn't because my step sister didn't pay board and my parents decided it was mean to make us pay board when she hadn't. DH & I plan to do the same with DD when she is older. Like I said, not sure how much it will end up at, but she's not going to be given free reign with it to "waste"

Well I have no other use for the money atm so see the most beneficial thing to do with it is put it into savings for my childrens' futures. And I refuse to feel bad that I am in a position to do so.

Agree with peachys view. Would help a bit towards uni etc(if we could) providing they helped themselves too. Would never leave my children, or any of my family struggling, if we were comfortable, never. Thats a different story. Im talking about deliberately saving up so your kids dont have to even try. If something goes wrong or they desperately need cash, id help in any way. Im just not planning a nestegg as a little treat for them

My dp helped me through uni too, but had both worked fulltime before then and i earn as much as him now.

And the child benefit would work out at £35k. Shocking. Any kid that ends up with that would be well lucky in my opinion.

I agree, it is ridiculous to allow yourself to suffer so your children can have it easy and any child who allows their parent to do so is selfish beyond measure. But if your household income comfortably covers all your current needs, surely putting that money aside for your childrens' future is the sensible thing to do with it rather than squnader it on unecessary luxuries etc?

Wo could probably do with the extra cash now but we managed without so it goes into a savings account for dd if she goes to University. If she choses not to thenh she may well use it for a towards a house deposit/travelling.

I don't see anything wrong with making provisions for her future, if she does choose to go to Uni I want her to be able to do it without getting into horrendous debt/having to work loads of extra hours which would interfere with her course.

I also intent to pu some aside to help pay for her wedding, not a hige sum but a contribution. I don't think that makes me indulgent, or her spoilt.

For what it's worth we won't be buying her a car (dh and I have had arguments over this one, I think money for material possessions such as this should be earnt) and if she's living her post 18 she works and pays rent.

If you are well off thats great

I would have been more than happy to accept a handout (and still would) from a well off parent, just dont agree with all this having to save for uni, deposits these days that seems to becoming the norm.

Maybe cos when i was kid, not everyone went to uni or were lucky enough to own their own house or car.

Agree, you shouldn't have to save for your child's furute, nor should they expect anything from you, but if you are in the position to do so comfortably, than I'm sure most people would agree that it is good to be able to give them a hand starting out own there own. Within reason I don't believe it makes them any less of a person. I can't understand those who don't help them out (when they financially can) to teach them some sort of a lesson about the value of money and making their own way in life!

We can't afford to put the CB away, we need it to live on.

But we do have other savings and investments for the girls, from us and their grandparents. Hopefully that will be handy when they are older.

We have to be careful saving for DD2 though -as it's unlikely she will ever live independently she can't have too many savings or it will affect means-tested benefits when she's an adult . I don't want to save for her now only for her to struggle when she's an adult and trying to get what she's entitled to.

carmenelectra,I think what those of us mean when we say we save for our lo's for when they are older is to have savings for them for when they are 18+ etc. Money to go towards a house deposit or a new car or even uni fee's...?!

For example if you save approx £20 a month for 18 years you would have £4320 PLUS interest... Surley this is a good "nest egg" for someone at 18..?!

My mum and dad saved a little for me and my sister each month, we were given the choice of having it at 18 OR 21 but once we accepted it no more was paid into it. My sister got her at 18 and used it at uni..(mostly on booze iir) and I left mine till I was 21....I left home then and bought myself a new car..Mine went towards a deposit and insuring my 1st car..£2K approx for the insurance alone .!!

I was very grateful to my parents (mostly mum as it was her initiative to save the money) as it was a nice nest egg for me when starting out.

IIR dh had a similar thing BUT his parents didn't save, just said when 18 we will buy you a car.....imo dh didn't understand the value of this as he drive the car like a heap of shit and ended up driving it into a wall, insurance pay out ended up lining the local pub landlords pockets. Maybe if he'd had savings he would have realised the vaule..? who knows!

Peachy,the only thing we can and I do claim for with ds is DLA. Not entitled to anything else....

I can't believe how this thread has moved on - and I just don't understand how saving for your children's future, ie putting them through uni or getting the deposit for a house, can be criticised? If you can, why wouldn't you? Its how you bring your children up that determines how they appreciate money, not whether you are able to give them a helping hand at the bottom of the ladder or not?

I was incredibly lucky with my parents putting me through uni (altho' I worked as well), but does that mean I don't appreciate money? Of course not, I know that money has to be earned,it is never a given, and I very much appreciate the investment put into my education by my parents. Equally, I wouldn't hesitate to do the same for my dcs.

I just don't see what there is to argue about - its completely how you manage your day to day finances and the way you teach your children about money that is important, not whether you give them a helping hand if you can. Just because atm we don't put money in a saving account for dc's future, doesn't mean that I would begrudge others who do.

not got it yet but will spend on nappies and then out £20 in her savings.

carm - my parents did it for me - and believe me when I got married it was needed most definatly, and my brother would agree, we each had £10K as our 'nest eggs' half they had saved and half they gave us generously.

whilst i'd love to do this for DS at the mo I can't afford to do it. however, hopefully when thing's improve i'll be able to put some into various investments etc for him - but can't see that happening for the next 5 years or so.

I'd like to pre empt him doing something important with the money and me being able to help him out - after all, I don't want him to feel he either can't for to uni as I can't afford to send him, or go and get himself into a lot of debt doing it.

it pays for the increases in other taxes

and whisky