The role of a godparent??

[mariela88]

A year or so ago my best friend asked me to be godparent to her daughter who was 1yo at the time and I obviously accepted. At the time she said they would have a special lunch or something with the other godparent to celebrate as she wasn't going to have a Christening but that hasn't happened and it's been so long now I suspect it won't. Since then I've bought her nice Christmas and bday presents but this year they have just had their second baby and we are going to visit next week to meet baby no2 for the first time

I have two questions:
-We are taking a new baby gift with us for baby number two but should we also be getting her a Christmas present even though I am not godparent to baby no2? What is the etiquette with siblings at Christmas and birthday?

• my mum then asked me what I had bought her as her special godparent present and I realise now I havent bought anything...had there been a christening or special event I would have but as there wasn't it just didn't even cross my mind. Should I have done this? Should I now?

The whole asking me feels sort of just like a nice gesture more than anything but equally I don't know if there's anything I should be doing?

Interested to hear all your thoughts!

Thanks in advance xx

The role of a Godparent is to provide spiritual guidance to a child in their faith? at least until they are old enough to make their confirmation vows, if not beyond. Godparents declare this publically and to God at the child's baptism/christening. Without a christening, there aren't really Godparents - are your friends even practicing Christians? And the Godpareny should be confirmed in the faith the child is christened in.

That's not to say that parents can't ask their friends/family to provide particular friendship and support to their children, which I think this sounds like, but the role of a Godparent is very much about helping the child grow in their faith.

Going back to your original Qs - I would nit expect godparents to buy siblings presents, but there is no reason why not, especially a new baby present.

Special godparent presents are traditionally a child's bible, prayer book etc. maybe some simple silver jewellery, classic books. Nice money box or breakfast set. Something that they will have for a long time.

<awaits to be told I’m old fashioned and out of touch>

I agree with the above if your friends are religious but it’s actually unusual for godparents to take on this role nowadays, and your friends clearly aren’t religious as there was no christening.

in my view there is no specific role for a godparent, it’s just about taking a little more interest in the child than you might do otherwise - birthday and Christmas presents, maybe do a few things with the child when they’re older, a more substantial gift for christening or naming ceremony but not necessary if theses don’t happen.

Some of my children’s godparents do some or all of the above, some do nothing.

God parents role is to provide spiritual guidance to the child. I'm honestly not sire what a godparent could possibly be outside of a religious context.

I'd personally get both kids a present as I'd feel mean getting something for one child while the other was left out. This year the new baby gift can double up as a Christmas gift but I'd probably just get them both age appropriate books (or similar) in the future. My two friends are godparents to 2 of my children, we haven't got the 3rd baptised due to various (covid and money and other priorities) reasons but my friends always get a Christmas gift for all three.