I'm going in to hospital - how do I make it easy for my 1 year old?

[Willow2]

At the end of April I have to go into hospital for five days or so. My son will be 13 months old by then and, because of my husband's work commitments, will be staying with his granny rather than at home with his dad. I'm dreading the separation - the longest we have been apart was two nights when he was about six months old. How do I make it easy for all of us? Will my son really miss me or even notice that I'm not around? Will I come back to find he wants his gran and not me? Or will he make her life hell for five days? How do I stop worrying!!! Help!! Also, I am still breastfeeding although plan to stop in the month before I go in to hospital (not least because I don't want my boobs to explode while I'm there!). Any tips on this too?

Willow2 - is it necessary that you must be away from your son for 5 days? Can he not visit you along with your husband? Or do you feel this will upset him more. Can your hospital allow your son to stay with you for extended periods (like a whole afternoon?) Obviously I don't know what you are going into hospital for but I assume that your family are visiting then perhaps it may be less traumatic for your son if he can see you. 5 days is a long time for a baby.

As for stopping breastfeeding because of your hospital visit. Well this may not be necessary. You can either continue by expressing a small amount or just feed him when he visits. You may find that you still have milk even after 5 days. Ask at your hospital about the anaesthetic/medication you will be given and how long afterwards you can resume breastfeeding.

This question posted on a breastfeeding site may be of help (www.breastfeeding.com/) -

Having surgery - do I have to pump & dump?

I am due to have day surgery at the end of July and am concerned about what to do with my daughter. I am still nursing her on demand and she refuses to take expressed breast milk from any container. Because my surgery will be done under a general anesthetic, I am worried that I will have to pump and dump for 24 hours post surgery. Is there any type of anesthesia I can have that won't pass through breastmilk? Thank you for your time.

What kind of anesthesia that is appropriate depends on the type of surgery. A spinal or local anesthetic will pose no problem to the nursing baby. However, the surgery may not be appropriate for this. I’ll assume, for now, that you need a general anesthetic, such as sodium penthal which is given intraveneously or a inhalation anesthetic such as nitrous oxide or flurethane. What is comforting is that when the mother is awake and alert, she is free of the anesthetic. Once a mother is alert and awake, it means that you have cleared the drug from your body. However, as a safety measure, you can pump and dump a small amount (about ½ ounce or 1 tablespoon from each breast) of the milk for an hour or so after the surgery, then it will pose no danger to your nursing baby. You don’t need to pump and dump for longer than this.

Another question is post-op pain medication. Some, such acetaminophen and ibuprofen are perfectly safe for breastfeeding mothers to take. If a stronger pain medication is necessary, such as codeine or demeral, you should nurse your baby and then take the medication. As an adult, you will clear those medications within four hours. Then, you can breastfeed again after that four hours is up.

Dr. Ruth Lawrence, professor, author and researcher, serves on Breastfeeding.com's medical advisory board. Dr. Lawrence is a professor of pediatrics, obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Rochester. She is also director of the university's Breastfeeding and Human Lactation Study Center

Eulalia,
Thanks for getting back to me. The hospital is about an hours drive from home (London traffic being the problem rather than distance) and I'm concerned that seeing me for a short while, in the middle of a long journey, will be more traumatic for my son, Joe, than not seeing me. Plus I think I'll be quite drugged up for the first few days, so my son won't be getting the hands on mum he is used to. I doubt I will be in a fit state to crawl around playing monsters... and he's not great at sitting still! I could be wrong, in which case I'll definitely get him brought in, but any thoughts on things his grandparents can do to help him settle in, just in case? (Obviously I will take his favourite toys and stuff over to them).
On the breastfeeding front, I had kind of thought that I might as well stop around now as he is over one (even though we both still enjoy it). It hadn't really occurred to me to express while I was in hospital. Apart from anything else, while I found it easy to express when Joe was tiny, my boobs now seem increasingly reluctant to comply! The last thing I want is to end up engorged as well - any idea how little I'd have to express in order to keep the milk going without exploding? Also any tips for if I do decide to stop before hand? Which feeds should I drop first and how quickly? (Joe's on 3 to 4 a day still - first thing, mid-morning and/or afternoon, and bedtime). Thanks for your help!

Just to say that I had to do a week long trip for work when my baby was 9 months old and was still completely breastfed. I took along an electric and hand pump and pumped and dumped. It was difficult especially as travelling between countries made it impossible to express during the day. When I got back home, the supply had adjusted down to morning and evening feeds which I then maintained at that level. One thing I would say is that I was very nearly hysterical with the need to see my baby towards the end of the trip and returning home and breastfeeding him after that absence was pure magic!.

Hi

I have an 11 month old little girl, and in January my husband and I went on holiday to spain for 1 week while my Mother-in-law came to look after my daughter. Although I dreaded the idea of going on holiday without her (having never been apart), it was something we needed to do (spend quality time together as a couple). We left on the Friday, but by the Monday eve I was missing her so desperatly I would have flown back that night if I could. However by Tues morning I was fine again, and enjoyed the rest of the holiday. I know your circumstances are different, and it is enforced rather than through 'choice' but I know my daughter enjoyed being thoroughly spoiled by her Nanna, and she didn't seem to miss us too much although she was very excited when we came home!
I deliberately chose to have my mother-in-law stay in our house for the week so there was not total disruption for my daughter, she was still surrounded by familiar things and was in her own cot which I think helped. I don't think it matters how much you try and prepare for it, you will miss your son terribly but he will be fine! Take LOADS of magazines etc into hospital so you don't have time to brood, and by the time you see him again it will be a wonderful reunion!

As for the breastfeeding, you have to do it slowly else you could have real trouble with engorgement. Just drop a feed for a week, then another feed for the next week etc. The demand won't be there, so the supply will drop. I'm no expert but that's what I did pretty successfully. I still got sore patches though, so be warned...

Good luck!

Willow2 - I'd go by Croppy and adjust your supply so that you can stick to morning and evening feeds. That way you get the best of both worlds. You shouldn't get engorged and you can have the pleasure of breastfeeding your son when you return. That would make your reunion more enjoyable for him. Then you can take it from there either going back up to more feeds or eventually dropping them. You'll probably feel happier about stopping breastfeeding when you are feeling well anyway.

I'd take a pump in with you just in case you do get engorged but if you've moved down to only 2 feeds a day you'll probably be OK. Good luck.

On the visiting front, I have just been in hospital for 11 days. I have 4 children (11, 8, 6 while I was away and 23/4). I decided that for the youngest a visit would be more traumatic as he could not understand what was going on. In the end I told the children the hospital didn't welcome children as there are some very sick people there and the risk of infection etc..... None of them visited me. The older 2 missed me, particularly the 8 yr old, but the younger 2 were fine. The 2yo had a variety of carers - Gran, uncle and babysitter - but seemed to accept it all. I am home with him all the time usually. He was extremely pleased to see me when I came home though!
Good luck with whatever you decide.

I know it's a while since anyone posted on this topic, but thanks to those who did. Hospital beckons the week after next, and over the last month or so I have slowly cut down on feeds and finally stopped feeding Joe last Sunday. I must admit I felt really low about it and was very worried about how he would take it. My husband was really sweet to me the night of the last feed as he could see how glum I looked. Anway, the next night I gave Joe a cup of milk - which he took one swig of - and put him down to sleep. He started to cry and I thought "here we go, two hours of crying and checking, it will be weeks before I get him to go to sleep easily". I felt really terrible, but by the time I had finished having that thought I noticed something had changed. There wasn't a sound coming from Joe's room. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry - I'd put myself through the mill about stopping feeding him and the little so and so didn't seem at all bothered! Now, a week later, he is going down to sleep like a dream, I'm fine and not engorged and much more relaxed about going in to hospital. I do feel sad that that part of our relationship is over, but it's not as if I've stopped being his mum and he seems as happy as larry which is all that really matters to me.

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