Is my boyfrien cheatin on me??

[YoungMummyOf1]

I got with my boyfriend when i was 15 (now 19) an was very happy until about a year ago when we started arguing a lot so we decided to have a break Because it wasnt very good for our daughter to see us arguing. During that break he got with someone else which really upset me but i knew it wasnt anything serious. We decie to get back together a few months ago an things were really going well! but for some reason hes not as cuddly, affectionate as he used to be. He wont cuddle me, kiss me or hold my hand in public. Hes very secretive who hes out with when he goes out at night. he still talks to the girl he got with while on our break.. The worst one is if he wants sex with me i have to have my back facing him! I love this guy so much but i cant cope with this anymore, i need to know whats wrong but he wont talk to me. He changes subject everytime i say something.

Yeah but i dont want to throw my bf out either.. Ive done it before and i was in such a state for months.
His brother is 18 but he has learning difficulties. He has a mind of a 10 year old so i know he wouldnt be able to cope on his own.

I didn't realise that.

All the more reason for your bf to grow up, support you, and set some boundaries for his brother then.

Sounds like your bf and his brother are just using you coz it's easier to stay living with you.

They are not your responsibility though, don't worry about what will happen to them or they have no-where alse to go, you're not their mum.

Of course you're scared of being alone, but your world will not fall apart, why would it? You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and there are loads of lovely nice guys out there who will treat you with love and respect, like you deserve. But if you stay with this bf how will you ever meet anyone better?

Seriously, you and your dd deserve better.

Why where you in a state for months when you kicked him out before?

What is it you get out of him being with you that you wouldn't get if you left him?

What is it you would loose?

It might help us give more suitable adive if you let us know

Is their father alive? Any other relations?

You are being amazing holding the family together for them, but you seem to have let your boyfriend turn you into a replacement mother/drudge, rather than his partner. He is not treating you with any respect, the sex from behind only is really disturbing.

I agree with Starlight, find out a bit about the help available for the younger boy - does he have a social worker or a senco?

But the bottom line is - you shouldn't accept this treatment. Loving someone doesn't mean letting them abuse you, no matter what they might be going through or dealing with.

I would lose the man i love! He can make me feel amazin when he wants 2.. thats what i miss. When i kicked him out i coulnt stop thinkin about him. Every little thing i did reminded me of him and i cried over anything.

Their father is alive but he lives in australia and havent seen him since they were little boys.

write on a piece of paper pros and cons and write how amazing he really makes you feel

when your with someone like that you tend to only focus on the good things yet when it comes to writing down how they really make you feel very hard to find many pros

i did the same but i love him when were good were good but the 99% in between was tough and i was hanging onto the good times i'm sorry but if he makes you feel like this most of the time there are not many good times other good times are in the past its now that matters and your not happy

one of my dear friends use dto be able to get to me he used to look into my eyes and say your not happy and i wouldnt be but i used to think we can be and id say yes i am

and he'd say darling no your not because eyes dont lie even now brings tears to my eyes as the whole world could see how sad and lonely i was but i still stuck up for the one man that made me feel so worthless and he would never have done that for me

i loved him he knew it he used it he knew he could always come back he new what to say to malt my heart

i woke up one day and he screamed at me and treated me bad you know i felt anger like id never felt it before and i looked him in the face told him exactly what i thought of him turned on my heels as quick as i could and walked out the door never looking back

god wish i had the strentgh then that i do now i really wish id listened to friends as i allowed him to disrespect me a hell of alot longer than he should of he didnt deserve me i was too good for him

please yes you think you love him but you did because he was different his changed he wont be that person again as his disrespected you when you allow them to cross that line theres no looking back

stand up for yourself he will fight for you or he'll walk but for your own self worth tell him you;ll know by his responce

xx

Ill do that bubblagirl. Thanks! U have all gave me amazin advice and i really appreciate it. Im going to have a hard think about what you have all said and i will let you know what i decide to do. Wish me luck

GOOD LUCK remember sometimes you have to think with your mind and not your heart as your mind takes longer to repair

and your heart doesnt tell all the facts

i know you feel responsable for them as they live with you but honestly thats is probably why they take the p*

tell them they need to find somewhere to stay for a while and ask your self yes you miss him but do you miss the way in which he treats you, if being intamate isnt even bringing you comfort what do you really get apart from feeling like letting go will be hard

let go and we will all help you deal with it alot of us have been there and i always beg people to get out quick as i still suffer from how i was treated as lthe longe rit goes on it screws you up you lose yourself respect you live on there very word try harder to please them
it shouldnt be that hard respect should be mutual and so should the love

really think about it as a happy mumis a happy home and your dd will benfit more from that xx

get yourself to mother baby groups coffee mornings parks meet new freinds and become independant again once you manage that you wont look back net mums has meet mums in your area page so you can meet and talk with mums near you arrange to do things with children i think you sound like you depend on him to much

find some independance it feels great to do that its a nice feeling best of luck

Good luck, and listen to bubblagirl, she speaks lots of sense and has given good advice here