OK. ITS ME AGAIN BUT WE VE HAD TO REPORT HIS FAMILY TO THE POLICE (again) I REALLY NEED ADVICE OF YOU.

[DrivingMissHannah]

im sorry this is so long

Yet again, we ve had more threats.

as you know about the probs with DPs family (i ve changed my name on here just in case, but you know who i am) i took your advice and went to my local CAB. they told me to keep a diary of every time they try to contact either of us or my family.

last week, they phoned us, saying that we had to collect the last of our property from their house, (mostly DPs diving gear, motor bike gear, fishing and golf stuff, only books id lent his dad was mine.) or else they ll sell the lot for £100 (but its worth well over £1500).
anyways i thought after we ve already reported them for violent threats etc to us its not a good idea to go up there. i phoned the police then to explain that they had contacted us, and that they sounded fine on the phone but where do we stand as in collecting our property, the police said that it was fine to go up if we really needed to. anyways we went up and they had already put our things out on their driveway in the pouring rain etc we just knocked the door to say we was there to pick the stuff up and not another word was said.
later that evening we recieved a phone call of the same family member that threatend us B4 saying that he knew where we live (not sure if thats the trueth) but that he s gonna come and get us and put us both in hosp etc and that we ll never walk again and will eat thru a tube for the rest of our lives
worst thing is he s not scared of the police as he s spent many a night in a police cell for violence and his son has just come outta prison for assaulting a police officer so we dont stand a chance against them.
moving isnt an option, but the police have said we can get a court order on them so that they cant come within so many miles etc but then id/we'd have to go to court, and i dont think i can cope with that, i wont go out of the house on my own or answer the phone because im so scared, the door is locked all day.
im now at my wits end, i cant go out but at the same time frightend to stay in just in case they turn up. and as you probs seen from my thread about mothers day no prezzie and still crying after a week etc that im really down and taking things out on my DP and being over emotional.

please can sumone help advice would be so much appreciated.

ps sorry for any spelling or grammer errors i ve not proof read.

DrivingMissHannah, So sorry for you that you're going through this .

I'm relatively new to mumsnet so don't know anything about you're situation, are you able to give me some brief info, DH works in this field and i'll ask him for any ideas he has.

we fell out wit his family when ds was born, they wanted us to move in with them etc cos i am a young mum (19) and they wanted to bring up elwyn and said to me that i cud go back to work after a month or so and that there was no way i would cope with a young baby cos id had no experience being the youngest in my famil so on and so forth...
we said no we're fine (got our own business) so no money probs, they kept on at us which did lead to me having depression but they got us evicted from our home which we was renting of DPs Uncle they told him we were no good together and to stop me entering the flat and that theyll pack our things and drop my stuff on my mums drive, theres loads of stuff like they was telling me on the phone that they was gna get ds cos i had depression and that DP had finished with me and given them permission to get his things etc.
we moved out of the area etc, but they are phoning the business phone being abusive that they are coming for us and that his sister is "gonna knock my head off my shoulders"
the only reason they wanted ds is because dps sis cant have kids etc we were their only chance.
im really scared of them, and im stuck as what to do. the calls arent all of the time it can go a few months then we ll hear from them. im too scared to do anything. they even said when we offered for them to see ds that "he can make his own mind up when he s old enuff" he was only 4months (about) at the time, now he s 10 months and theyre telling everyone that we wont let them see him.

this is only a brief outline, it goes so much deeper than this

I know it is hard but you HAVE to go to court - you have to stand up to them. You can't live and bring up your baby to live like this - it is just wrong (on all of you to live in fear I mean)

Can you ask for victim support at the copshop and see what they say about support during court etc?

I don't know what to say, I just wanted to express how sad I feel for you to be going through all this when you're so young and have a young baby. What is your side of the family like? What do they think about all this?

WHat Lewisfan says. THere are support schemes in place for people suffering this level of harassment, and the law is there to put a stop to it. You can't go on like this. It's letting these horrible people win, and you are better than them and have every right to live in peace.

you can obtain a non molestation order.
you will need to go to your local court offices to do this but its not at all like going to court in the sense you are thinking.

you go and complete the forms, you will have to pay a fee ( i think its £70 though this may be waibed of you are on certain benefits)
you will be invited to speak to a magistrate, it will be just you and him/her. you will outline why you feel it necessary to get the non mol.

the judge will be in a suit, no wigs or gowns and it will be quite informal.

the court will then arrange for the court order to be served upon the family.
you will need to name each inidividual though if you name the main people concerned the wording of teh non mol says that they are prohibited from getting other people to molest harras or abuse you as well.

once you have the order it means they are not allowed to contact you in an agressive manner, they can be prohibited from coming within a certain distance of you and your home and thsi can be enforced with a power of arrest attahced.

i know you say they aren't worried about the police but if they are arrested and subsequently charged they aren't able to harras you further are they.

but you really do need to be brave and takle some preventative measures now. putting your head in the sand just isn't working any more

abso lutely!if you dont face em they know that they can harrass you on an emotional level,its bullying, and you are stronger than that. they are playing mind games with you.

yeah, i know you are all right and that they are bullies, but im so scared that it ll all go wrong. its mostly his uncle that is threatening us. his mum and dad has been told several times not to contact us, but when we tell them that we have got our own lives now we're happy etc his mum gets straight on the phone with crocodile tears to dps nan who then passes the info on to her other son and daughter (her son the one who phones with abusive calls and threats and her daughter whos husband had us evicted)
butits all lies. his mum years and years ago was in a physciatric hosp with deppression and anorexia, she told the family recently that i wouldnt let her see my ds cos she was a "coed head" (the name of the hosp is cefn coed) i ve never ever said anything like that, its all lies.
she also tells everyone that its me stopping dp talking to them and that i say jump and he says how high.
christmas time was our first christmas with ds (10 months now) but we had a text from his cuz calling me all the names under th sun, but it turned out that his cuz and sum of the family was actually in spain at the time!!!!
so we could get summing done for the calls of his uncle but cos nearly all the family is involved im scared the rest will target my family.
my mum and dad has kept out of it (i asked them to) but now they've started blaming them selves saying if only we had gone up and had a word to try and sort this out. my mum has not got good health. she has blood transufions every 4/5 weeks. i dont want her to blame herself as she is doing.
his family has ruined everything. we re getting married in september and im scared they ll find out where we are doing it.

im really stumped as to wat to do, i dont want to rile the rest of the family by getting action against them.

Oh, drivingmisshannah, I just want to pick you up and give you a big hug. You are doing a terrific job keeping it together. Every time you look at your beautiful DS you should know that you are protecting him from bullies.

another call from them this morn, DPs uncle saying for us to leave HIS family alone!!! WTF??? his mum phoned me by accident she was meant to phone his sisters mobile (yeah rihgt) so i just said "oh ok well u ve phoned us," she said "sorry" and had the cheek to ask how ds is, so i said "he s fine thankyou", and she said "oh ok bye then"
nothing more was said and i had a customer waiting outside the door. anyways 5 mins later his dad phoned me and said that his mum didnt mean to cause offence on the phone she dialled the wrong number. by his time the customer was in the office with me, so i said pollitly to his dad ok no probs just can u check next time as im actually with a customer. the phone went down and everything was fine. 15 mins ago after telling the secutary not to put the calls thru to me she came in and said there is a really abusive man on the phone asking for you so i agreed to take the call.
have a guess who it was.... DPs Uncle screaming abuse down the phone to me (lucky customer had gone) f-in and blinding at me to leave his family alone blah dee blah and i was like they have phoned me i was polite to them (thru gritted teeth) and now im getting it of him cos i was polite???

i feel like im going mad, any advice on where i stand now?? i m gonna go home in 15mins cos i dont think i can stand this much more, i ll just go and clear my mind taking colin for a walk down the beach ( colin is the dog )

can you change your business/home/mobile numbers? they sound like all mouth and no trousers...