need help staying calm driving, especially when other cars almost hit me and make me go into panic attacks..........

[Psychomum5]

I need help......

I have now had 3 car accidents, none my fault and not even suggestive of me driving without care.

First one - me stationary at a junction and hit from behind.

Second one - someone coming out of a minor cross-road to go across to the other road while I was driving along the main road and hit on my side shunting the car and hitting me again.

Last one was head on with a man coming around from a side road on my right (being blocked by a bus), and him simply ignoring the fact that a car (ME) could be on the other side. He was trying to head down a road on my left!

anyhoo........I am now a scarily nervous driver and passenger, and have been recommended CBT, am now scared of what they may entail, but at the same time, am now reeling from an 'almost crash' this morning!!

I had to take DD3 for one of her twice weekly blood tests, and came out of the surgery. I was on the main road, and again, a car tried to come out of a side road to go straight across (another minor cross road). He failed to stop, he almost hit us, I swerved thankfully (so at least proving to me I do have good reflexes!), but he almost also sandwiched a bike between us (poor lady, I do think she may have fallen but wasn;t in a fit state to deal with her). I ended up sobbing while still trying to drive, scared DD2 who was in the front with me (she has also been in all the other accidents) DD3 was fretting in the back, so DD2 rang DH who ordered me to pull over and calmed me down. (I was panicking as DD3 was due at school......her bloods are done at 8.30am).

I am now obviously home.....flame came and calmed me down with coffee and rescue rememdy even tho it wasn;t plaaned (spur of the moment thing where by she arrives when I need her to at times but also ).

She has now gone tho and I am still tearful, heart still pounding, not wanting to do school run later, but know I need to, and in need of ways to deal with all this.

I don;t want this to beat me, I need to drive. I have the kiddies to think of, let alone me not needing to be a recluse.....but.......

HOW???????

help

oh, there have been injuries, but I have spoken about them so much I fear boring people now!!! thankfully tho, nothing majorly serious........head injuries and broken bones tho

defensive driving sounds good, especially from the building up confidence perspective, but am still fearful of those idiots who come from side roads with no thoughts of who ever may be coming.

at least tho, I guess, if I feel as tho I could have avoided it if avoidable (IYGWIM?), then the fear and guilt and shitty 'they're out to get me feelings' may not be as prominent.....?????

and......if it helps DH keep the feelings in his legs while he is driving and I am clinging to him, it can only be a good thing!

Did you get my email Flame? I have 2 diff addresses for you for some reason.

Psycho - there are advanced driving lessons you can do (how to parallel park, judge road conditions/situations) they are a good idea however you think about it. I intend to do some, a friend of ours has just passed his driving intructors test.

thankyou CM.....where do you live now if you dont mind me asking??

Miles away - i moved to Surrey and now live within spitting distance of Gatwick.

tut......fancy moving and then telling that you 'used to be' a burnemouth girl/lady!!!!

what with that, and name changing.......well

......at least gatwick makes flying abroad (shuld you want to/need to) lots easier!!!

I did Only just come back to the computer. I've lost my thingy to log into business banking and was getting all rargh so hoped a break would mean I would come back and it would appear... apparently not!

I loved Bournemouth when I lived there, (except the tourists) and had a lovely flat 100 yards from the sea at pokesdown. And you've got Bournemouth airport (which is at southampton if I remember) for going abroad.

nooooooo......bournemouth airport is in bournemouth......or at least, about 5miles from the centre of it at Hurn.

my in-laws live almost next to it, which thrill the boys no end driving past each time to visit them

can't do later flame....DH can't come home so got to breathe thro it on my own today.

I still shakey tho, am thinking that much recuse remedy is going to be ingested!

can't do later flame....DH can't come home so got to breathe thro it on my own today.

I still shakey tho, am thinking that much recuse remedy is going to be ingested!

It'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiine

Our boys are a bit blase about the planes' tailfins going down the end of the road but I still get a bit of a shock. They're so close to the ground!(I know they have to be, they're landing....)

Anyway, getting back to your driving - when I lived in wiltshire they are even worse - one of our neighbours (about 90) used to drive off at the speed of light, but he couldn't turn his head, so although he would stop at the bottom of the road, he couldn't turn to see if anyone was coming, and would just GO....
just tell me if I'm not helping

not sure you are CM......

OK, bumping in hope for someone this evening with either same advice to back up you others, or even different advice to try.

am still feeling jittery TBH, and as tho my body is on high adrenaline for fight/flight responce....

Drive around with dipped headlights or at least side lights on a la volvo? Might help the dipshits other drivers see you?

ahhhh.....lights........I LIKE that idea.

tis an instant one too

Psychomum, you have my sympathy as I am a very anxious driver. I have just had a course of refresher lessons to help my confidence and it has helped. Still not feeling up to motorways etc but can toddle around S London without shaking.

Sorry you have had a rough time. I think the advanced driving thing (which I ended up doing by default) might help your confidence. Take care.

I have to say then, by consencus (right word???), that doing advanced driving lessons, and keeping the lights on all the time, is the way forward for now.

Oh, and tell the arsehole bastards silly drivers to stay away.....far far away!!

oh, and thankyou for the 'take care' comment