Friendship help

[JKG7]

I’ve been talking to a man at the park where we walk our dogs for about a year. He’s looking after his 80 year old mum and I look after my daughter who has mental health problems. He recently told me he’s had his benefits taken off him and his mum has had a stroke. A few weeks ago I saw him at the park and I asked him if he was ok and he just said no and walked off. When I caught up to him I asked him what was wrong and he said he really wasn’t in a good mood. Since then he has ignored me and if he sees me he walks in the opposite direction. He won’t even say hello! I’ve messaged him to ask him if I have done something to upset him and he didn’t answer and blocked me. What have I done?

Why won't you leave him alone? It's clearly what ge wants.

I have left him alone for the last 3 weeks. I just want to know what I’ve done wrong?

You’ve likely done nothing wrong OP, just respect his wishes and be very wary if he comes back to the friendship without a genuine explanation.

Is he actually a friend or just someone you exchange pleasantries with? Maybe he is stressed and just doesn’t want to talk.

We just talk at the park and he has helped me with a part for my car a few months back. I did have a feeling that he may like me but perhaps I imagined it

You ignored his clear signal that he didn't want to talk about his currently difficult life, and pursued him to ask again, when he'd already told you he's had his carer benefits removed and his mother has had a stroke. Surely it's obvious what's 'wrong' and why he might not want to talk about it all to someone he just knows to chat to while dogwalking?

It's hard for us to know if you've done anything wrong with such limited info!
Did you say something to offend him re benefits or illnesses??
Chances are he just doesn't want to bother with polite chit chat with people anymore because he's stressed, like he said.

Probably. But he’s over shared with me already about money his life his past

I’m not aware that I’ve said anything to upset him. However he is a very rude man so not sure why I wasted my time really. Im not too keen on people being rude I’ve lived in the area I live in now for 5 years and I find most people are rude, ignorant or just very strange. Maybe I should move!!

Maybe he’s really struggling? Respect his boundaries.

But you said you thought he liked you, and helped you with a car part, and it sounded as though you possibly found yourself attracted to him? Now suddenly he's a 'very rude man' who overshares, and you're writing off the whole neighbourhood?

Isn't it possible he's just someone behaving not very well under what sounds like severe stress?

Maybe… but he is rude in general and doesn’t have anything nice to say about anyone. By his own admission he’s not a people person

Oh an no I don’t like him in that way. I’m recently widowed and not looking for anything like that

You've probably not 'done' anything wrong; he just doesn't want to interact anymore for his own personal reasons.

Avoid him - walk your dog elsewhere, or not at the times you know he walks. If by chance you do see him, turn the other way.

Yes that’s what I’ve been doing but we’re both in our 50s and it seems a bit childish

He's going through something leave him alone

But then it's hardly surprising that he's being abrupt with you, if he's rude in general, and doesn't have anything nice to say about anyone, is it? And why would you want to change that, if he's not a nice person, anyway -- surely you don't want to chat with someone rude and negative, even fairly casually?