So this is marriage

[trappeze]

Have just come in from the garden. It's 7pm.
40 minutes each evening should get that hedge down to a manageable height again.
"I've broken the white chair, I'll get the other thing out the garage tomorrow" - not once was I asked if I'd hurt myself.
Just moaning about a couple of flies in the bathroom, because I was told that plants weren't required in the bathroom. I'm 53 ffs.

Are you ok?

How long have you been married?

I… honestly don’t get this post. Are you saying that you’ve been out trimming your hedge, you’ve broken a white chair (presumably by falling off it?) and your husband hasn’t shown any concern?

Bloomin sore leg with a nice bruise on. Thanks for asking, you’re the first to ask!

26 years.

That’s okay, I just needed to vent. You have summarised that quite well. It reads quite factual.

I suppose I’ve come on here as I need to work out if I am being I reasonable. I think I know the answer already. Have kept a watch in the stupid things.
I changed job back in June, a couple of days ago I got asked where I work.

I don’t understand your posts, can you be more clear? The whole point of marriage/a relationship is that it’s meant to enhance your life and be fun.

He sounds a bit distracted and, yes, could have asked you if you were OK. These sound like mild grumps, though? 26 years - it can’t be all bad, OP.

How much gin did you have while trimming your bush?

I heard of a woman who collapsed at the foot of her stairs.
Husband (of many years) descended said stairs and stepped over her. Walked on into sitting room.

Thats (some) effing men for you.

I hope you’re ok OP? I think we’ve all had a bit of a dose of what you’re putting up with. I no longer react to minor stuff my chap tells me. If he’s bleeding or staggering, has chest pains, that’s different but other stuff? No!

Hang on, your actual husband asked you where you work?! Has he had a brain injury?

I changed job back in June, a couple of days ago I got asked where I work.

DH would do the not asking if I’m ok.
But not knowing where you work? He has completely and utterly detached himself.

Do you think there is anything left in this marriage?

Do you have to stay? How long has it been like this?

Oh I wish!! 😂😂

I’ve been keeping my own dithering thoughts to myself for a while now.
I can’t see the wood from the trees, ‘normal grumps’ or just plain bloody unreasonable. I’ve only recently been introduced to Mumsnet, thought I might get some ‘clarity’.

Well very clearly, the work stuff is unreasonable. No discussion there.

The chair? If he knew you were doing that standing in the chair, then yes he REALLY should have asked you.

I think you need to read your posts back and remember that we don't know you!

Sometimes marriage is veyr practical.
dh and I spent and exciting morning carting a car load of wet pointy sticks to the tip last week. Gosh that was an exciting day, both grumpy about it too, came back smelly and irritated.

But that isn't the shape of the whole marriage, that is just annoying day doing chores.

Are there good moments?
Is there still laughter or fun?
Do you like doing things together?

I am amazed that he doesn't know where you work. That says something pretty basic about your communication, or about how much he cares about what is going on in your life.