The Ten Commandments..

[onebatmother]

Okay, I am v bad at wading through parenting books.. big piles next to my bed, with coffee rings on.

But I feel I need to refresh my thinking/remind myself of some of the things that I used to know before I lost that other brain cell.

I have a ds of 6, and a dd of 2.4.

So - anyone fancy talking to me about the really excellent parenting rules/strategies/whatever, that have stood them in good stead in times of madness?

I am going to write them out in big red letters on the inside of my kitchen cupboard doors, and then when things spiral into madness I will just open the doors and pretend to be looking for a tin of something.. but secretly, I will be remembering how to be a Good Parent.

Thank you my dears.

'A Lot Of Things Can Be Sorted By Turning Them Into A Game Or Other Lighthearted Thingummajig But Once You Start Shouting You Will Have Lost That Opportunity'

Such good advice.

My advice on getting dressed would be that once you have made a request, count to 10 silently to give them a chance to do it. Children move slowly, and badgering them to do something because they don't respond immediately can create an unnecessary argument and raise tension.

(I think DS could also take this advice when dealing with me!)

Mine would be:

Tomorrow is another day (ie don't let negative things from today drag over to tomorrow)

It's OK to be pissed off with your children. But you are the adult and should be more mature than them.

You can never cuddle enough.

You may not be a perfect mummy but you are perfect for your children.

This is exactly what I was hoping for. Bloody hell.

Ruby: not having to like them to love them is so good. On days when ds, in particular, has been at his most teenage, and I feel angry with him, I am overcome with guilt and worry that we are becoming estranged. That can easily become a vicious circle of guilt/self-consciousness/pressure that could be a self-fulfilling prophecy if I didn't kick myself in the head.

keepcalm - yes, mantras is exactly what I'm after. Breathing and thinking space. (I've bought the poster of you by the way and you are gorgeous..)

issie - saving face I am very guilty of demanding complete submission. Choices.. yes. and 'genuine enquiry' also v good. I think those are going in permanent marker and highlighter, inside kitchen cupboard doors.

Cappie surely winetime one should have come first? Ah.. just seen your second post. But christ yes, about not telling them how to do things. Trouble is I break down when under any pressure eg. homework. Am getting better. ( Shall we start C/W thread btw in Culture?)

MadameP: yes, v good idea re. counting. Bcs I know he's going to take ages I'm hanging over him like the sword of bleedin Damocles. DS gets sooo easily distracted tho. By TV, obv, so we turn it off. Now he gets distracted by dust/labels on pants etc etc. Ah, he sounds lovely doesn't he? He is lovely. Just not at 8.36am.

Sidge: re cuddles. Yes - that is the bottom line, isn't it?

I did portandlemons lighthearted thingy v shouting one this pm THREE TIMES with great success.

It's not that I'm totally shite, just lost my mothering mojo in some areas. (Actually I am shite in some respects, but let's not dwell..)

Any more?

And have you all signed copyright over to MN? This is exactly the kind of thread that will be featuring in one of their new squillion dollar book-deal books