Holding broodiness at bay - my heart says yes but my head says no

[IndigoMoon]

I cannot believe i am typing this really but I am so up and down with it at the moment.

I have two children DD (5) and ds (1). I always said to dh i would consider 3 but i really struggled with ds. He has been hard work and for the first six months I now recognise i was near a breakdown. Things have settled hugely now, it still is hard sometimes, dd stropped round to school this morning, ds has been whingy. In the long scheme of things though i love being a mom.

I have just gone back to work part time and have a possible career path which i can go down.

Problem is I feel like there is a third baby that i am meant to have. I am so broody emotionally it is dreadful - i have names picked the lot.

Logically though I think no , i dont want to be pregantn again, or do labour again, i fear for a tough time as with ds. The logistics of three scares me, I feel so split over it.

To all who ask i say no, I am done but inside there is a voice saying - one more just one more!!!!

I dare not talk to dh about it cos he would just burst with joy.

But other people have commented - I could see you with one more! I went to a family party on sat and loads of people asked me if i was having more and seem suprised when i said no.

So is this just eternal broodiness which i will have until the menopause, it is like this for everyone???? Will it pass?

Well I can relate to almost everything you've said - expect dh would NOT burst with joy! I don't want to be pregnant or give birth again, I find 2 hard going at times, I'm focussing on work and study more now etc etc BUT that voice you speak of is whispering to me too... DH won't go here though and I'm getting older, 38 this year.

DH won't go THERE i mean

oh blimey, poor old you - all i can say is that now it is all too late for me, i regret soo very much not having more children (long story, bad circs etc)

i'm willing to bet, with a dh as enthusiastic as yours, if you have another it will bring real joy to your lives

and i notice people seem to regret NOT having much more than having them iyswim

Indidgo. my dh and I have always hoped for 2, but no more! However, if both of you think a third would complete your family then perhaps yo ushould go for it. Pregnancy and labour are short lived in the grand scheme of things and well worth all the joy a new person brings. Whether or not it is as tough as it has been with ds is down to luck, but hopefully not?

i feel roughly the same about a potential number 4.
i have had a tough time mentally since no 3 came, and i find myself flustered and shouty far too often for my liking (i think maybe once or twice a year, id be happy with ), and dp is happy with the 4 hes got (he has a son from previous marriage) and thinks hes too old for new children, and the world is my oyster right now, what with childcare and space and time and money all being plentiful right now (yeah i know, im lucky as hell, shoot me)...
but im broody.
its a toughie. but for my part, i am grateful every second for the dilemmas i have and know how lucky i am not to have any 'real' problems... (apart from possibly being a bit unhinged, like, but that may all be in my mind [irony])

Do you need to make a decision now? DS is still very young. Make a decision to decide (!) in a year or so.

I knew I had to have another before I came home from the hospital with no. 2! I have found three hard and the third pregnancy was really tough but I just didn't feel the family was complete without no.3

A friend of mine always played down her desire for a third child but it was so obvious that it was nagging away at her. She was delighted to have her third last year after spending the previous 8 years giving all the reasons why another child wasn't a good idea!

I'm quite sure we won't have any more, I do feel our family is complete, we can just about manage and I really wouldn't want to cope with another pregnancy. However, part of me will always be broody. I think that applies to alot of us.

ime the heart wins over the head on this one