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What should i do? im really scared now.

14 replies

igglepiggles · 28/02/2008 09:34

i m not sure if you ve seen my other thread about how im scared to go out because of DPs family, threats of violence from them, phoning our business number with abusive calls etc and the story goes on and on and on.

we had another phone call yesterday afternoon, it was his dad phoning to ask for our address!! apparently his mum has gone in to a physciatric restbite home (she s early 50's) because we are NOT talking to any of them. when my dp asked why do you want our address, his father replied "because she wants to write to you"
we've already reported them to the police because we were told by them "if we find out your address we're gonna come down there and "do you one" (kick the crap out of us)

now im even more scared to go out, they're trying to put the blame on me, its what they usually do, but i ve done nothing wrong. im frightend that they're gonna find out where we're living and come down when DP is at work. i run the business from home (so that i can look after DS) i know its a case of "well dont answer the door" but im frightend that not answering the door isnt enough

has anyone got advice or know any citizens advice websites??

OP posts:
PotPourri · 28/02/2008 09:37

Definately get down to the citizens advice bureau adn maybe call the police again adn ask for advice. And DO NOT give out your address to them. Does your company have a PO box or something, or else you could get it sent to a friends (not too close to home) and collect letters from there.

Sorry you are going through this, sounds like a nightmare! But I would say, try to live as normal a life as possible. Why shoudl they dictate that you can't go out??

ShinyDysonHereICome · 28/02/2008 09:39

Have you reported their threats to the police?

I would have an injunction brought out prohibiting them from coming within a certain distance from your home.

Poor you, how very stressful

igglepiggles · 28/02/2008 09:48

mmm, our home number is for family and friends etc is exdirectory and the business number is on the side of all the vans which they know its our business as we had it before we all fell out, business is doing well but i cant afford to stop whithheld numbers as business is business.

things were really bad before, but now she s in a physciatric hosp they're trying to make us feel guilty, now that hasnt worked and we ve told them to stop contacting us, they're gonna really be out for me as they think its all me, and im telling DP wat to say and do etc.
DP can tell them till he s blue in the face that he doesnt wanna know them and has even told them to their faces without me, and i didnt know where he was untill he d come home!! but im really scared.
im not very petite, im average build (size 12) and 5"5 ish his sister the main one who has personally threatend me is a size 24/26 so she is double the size of me, and nearing 6"0 so i wouldnt stand a chance.
i dont wanna fight, i dont wanna argue, and i dont wanna live in fear for the rest of my life

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 28/02/2008 09:51

Igglepiggles. I'd call your local CAB and ask for advice. I think an injunction may be the way to go here, but I'm no expert.

Good luck!

Lulumama · 28/02/2008 09:55

speak to the police again, speak to the CAB, they will be in the yellow pages...

make sure all your friends etc know not to give out your details

DP needs to support you in this too

why have his family taken against you to this extent..

this is totally abnormal behaviour

igglepiggles · 28/02/2008 10:27

THIS IS A LONG REPLY

mmm. they dont know our actuall addy but they know the area where we live. neither of the parents drive, but the rest do. and we live about 15mins away by car.

DP is very supportive. he hates going in the office sum days, and he phones me every hour and half / 2 hours to see im ok.

his family took the huff because we wouldnt move in with them when DS (10 months) was born. we had our own flat, (which was rented off his Uncle to us. we done loads of work there for him, new kitchen, bathroom, and windows etc (we have home improvements business) and it was a huge 3 bed flat with 2 huge bedrooms and a Box room (which wasnt that small!!) we were really really happy. the reason his mum and dad wanted us to move in with them is because in their words "what if hannah doesnt cope with a baby??" in other words because i was 18 haveing DS (im 19 now be 20 in september) i was a young teen mum who needed all the help i could get
anyways obviously we said no thanx we' ll be fine and your only up the road (walking distance) and so is my mum, your only a phone call away.

we kept having phone calls at midnight and 1 in the morn off them, asking and asking. untill in the end we lost our patience and told them we dont need any help we're doing fine. and if they carry on we'll change our numbers etc. next thing we knew we has Social services coming around, saying that they ve been told we mite need a bit of help and that im not coping with the baby blah dee blah but when they came in and they had a look around, they cud see it was all fine and was impressed that at my age having my own business etc and said that there was no cause for concern.
we then phoned his parents to see wat the hell was happening and they said oh we just thought u'd take help off them cos you wont take it off us. i had his mother on the phone by 7 am every morning wanting to come down and bath MY baby (i was bathing him btw he has bath bottle story and bed in that order lol) Then when dp was in work they started to phone me saying that he was up their house and he was leaving me and he s sending someone down to start packing his stuff, this went on for ages then they did it one day when DP was home ill from work and he was sitting next to me whilst they were saying it! obviously we told them we dont wanna speak to you again, then a few weeks later an eviction notice came thru, we had to get out of our home with a 3 month old baby.

they told us we dont wanna see the baby he can make up his own mind if he wants to make contact when he s older. we hadnt stopped them seeing DS, my mum used to drop him off up there for us and pick him up 2 hours later and this was 2 to 3 times a week!!

now its got to the point where they realize they are missing out, DPs sister who is a hair dresser has even told one of my friends (who at the time didnt know what had gone on) to tell me to watch my back, and she text it to me, DP uncle has had to be pulled off my DP when he turned up in our local pub (after we had movd)

DPs sister cant have children of her own so his parents only hope of grand kids was us but they took it too far and we even lost our home over it, and even now im living in fear

sorry this was so long but i thought id tell you the whole story, and i apologise for my spelling as i havent proof read.!

OP posts:
magnolia74 · 28/02/2008 10:32

Sorry they sound like complete nut cases and if it were me I would bugger of to the other end of the country for a peaceful life.

I know thats not an easy option if you have a business but I really don't see even with an injuction ect... that you will ever be able to relax and enjoy your life with them being only 15 minutes away.

Your poor dh must be quite hurt as well to have his family act like this

igglepiggles · 28/02/2008 10:37

yeah he s extremely hurt. they ve spoilt ds christening and we're getting married in sept (supposedly) but we're scared that they will turn up and spoil that too.

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magnolia74 · 28/02/2008 10:38

Is it not possible for you to move further away? I know you shouldn't have to but you, dh and your son deserve to life life better than this!!

sparkybabe · 28/02/2008 10:39

God what scary wierdos! Is moving an option? It sounds like it;s a business that can be run from anywhere, so why don't you look into moving right away?

In the meantime, there are laws to protect you from bullies like this, gt down the CAB or phone them, and get an injunction. Get the policee involved, this is harrassment and threatened violence.

igglepiggles · 28/02/2008 10:46

yeah but the prob is that wat they've threatend has been reported, its the little twists like her being taken in to a phyciatric hosp etc, they know they dont need to threaten us as they've already done it, they've been clever enough to get us living in fear now without actually doing anything yet
moving away isnt really an option we have at the moment, my mum is very ill and altho she has family my dad bros etc id like to be close to her. im trapped

OP posts:
Emprexia · 28/02/2008 11:51

Go see CAB and see about getting a restraining order on them. Threats are enough to get one.

Document EVERY phonecall, every knock on the door, everything they do that is negative.

You can't let them treat you like this, if you'd made it clear you don't want contact from them then any time they do contact you constitutes harrasment.

Lulumama · 28/02/2008 13:07

they sounds awful
i would relocate and not tell them!

dividedself · 28/02/2008 15:44

I think - having not read the full thread - that Victim support may be able to help you. They offer support and can also help you take extra security precautions/make adjustments to home security, etc.

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