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Original poster

F*cking MIL - refuses to use DDs name

25 replies

bunny2 · 13/12/2004 19:49

Throughout my pregnancy MIL told me how much she longed for a Grand Daughter - I expected her to be thrilled when 2 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautifuol and healthy girl. MIL was very happys until we decided to call DD Holly. MIL doesnt like the name (wanted us to call her Charlotte after her dead husband) and refuses to use it. Today we got 2 cards - one to DS "My darling Grandson Benjamin " and one to our DD which simply said FROM GRANDMA inside. I am really pissed off with this, am I over reacting?

OP posts:
OnZephyrstdayofXmas · 13/12/2004 19:53

What a bloody cheek!!!!!!!!! What does she call her when she's talking about her?

Kittypickle · 13/12/2004 19:54

No absolutely not, I would be really really pissed off with that - it's nothing to do with her, your choice and DH's, noone elses. Can you get DH to have a word and sort her out ?

hoxtonturkey · 13/12/2004 19:54

get dh to have words. i'd be furious.

hoxtonturkey · 13/12/2004 19:55

snap kittypickle!

moondog · 13/12/2004 19:56

Over reacting??!!
Certainly not!!

I hear stories like this and can't believe anyone could act like this but it's obviously true (my mil is the other way round-so eager to please and willing to go with whatever I say/do but even that gets a bit annoying-!)

I would start calling HER a different name!?

Tinker · 13/12/2004 19:57

Can you refer to her as something else? Or is that very childish?

Thecattlearemerloting · 13/12/2004 19:57

Furious for you bunny2 Angry

moondog · 13/12/2004 19:57

I'm assuming the husband himself wasn't called Charlotte? Smile

moondog · 13/12/2004 19:57

I'm assuming the husband himself wasn't called Charlotte? Smile

Thecattlearemerloting · 13/12/2004 19:58

Actually Tinker, I was thinking along the same lines - what does she like to be called `Granny, Nanny etc' - call her something different!

maddiemo · 13/12/2004 19:58

I think that its really rude. She had her turn to name her own chidren. Now its your turn to choose names.
My mum did not like the names of ds1 and ds4 at first, now she could not imagine them being called anything else.

sleepdeprived · 13/12/2004 19:59

I agree, your DH needs to get on to this.

My MIL irritates me, calling DS "baby" all the time (he's nearly 1 now) - we named him after an uncle on DP's side of the family and she doesnt seem to be able to get used to DS having the same name. Get over it, I say!

PocketTinsel · 13/12/2004 20:00

She needs to get over it and start behaving like a adult! What does your dh say about it? I think others are right you should send her a grandma card saying just FROM HOLLY inside it. See how she likes that! Silly woman!

ChristmasCracker · 13/12/2004 20:02

I think that is awful, how dare she Angry

OldieMum · 13/12/2004 20:06

I understand why you are angry (and I would be, too), but, presumably she can't keep it up for ever. Can you manage to see the funny side until she breaks down and uses Holly's name?

fruitful · 13/12/2004 20:10

Make her a large Christmas card with dd's handprints on the front (or a photo - too young for paint on the hands I guess) and "Merry Christmas from your loving GrandDaughter HOLLY" written in huge letters on the front. For good measure one of MIL's Christmas pressies could be a photo of her grandchildren in a frame decorated by your DS (how old is he?) with both their names on it. Nice and big. And get DS to ask her to put it in the middle of her mantlepiece.

Thecattlearemerloting · 13/12/2004 20:21

Fruitful - What a good idea Grin

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 13/12/2004 20:25

Snort! Fab idea fruitful!!

ChristmasCracker · 13/12/2004 20:29

That is a great idea Fuitful Grin

sleepdeprived · 13/12/2004 20:31

LOVE fruitful's idea Grin

lockets · 13/12/2004 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kinderbobsleigh · 13/12/2004 20:46

My MIL calls Bob, Rob, even though he goes right up to her and says "ME BOB!!!"

His Grandad calls him Robert which I will tolerate as it is his official name. But I simply do not recognise this Rob name at all. Every time she asks a question like "What time did Rob get up?" I say "Bob got up at 7am" I don't emphasise the different name, just keep on using it.

She got to chose whether she was Gran, Granny etc. and I stick religiously to her chosen name and correct people who get it wrong.

It p**es mee off, but I want to show my son that this is how you deal with things, not retaliating by misusing her name or making a big deal out of it. Some days it takes all my strength.

She is doing it because apparently sheep dogs are called Bob! Weird woman.

Original poster
bunny2 · 13/12/2004 20:56

Love the ideas Smile made me feel much better. I think I will send a card FROM HOLLY TO MY LOVING GRANDMA - that should melt the old bags heart and I love fruitfuls idea too especially as her Xmas present was going to be a big framed pic of ds and dd together - yes I'll put the names on the frame in huge letters Grin.

I didnt make it clear in my first message - her husband (my ex FIL) was called Charles so she sees Charlotte as a female form of his name. I wouldnt name any of my children after the old tyrant though, he was horrid to dh.

OP posts:
xmashampermunker · 13/12/2004 21:18

Aw, Bunny2, I sympathise. MIL said DS's name would 'grow on her' and that she couldn't remember it for the first few months of his life Angry

She's Nanny - as in goat Grin

OhComeLetUsADiorHim · 14/12/2004 21:10

A friend's MIL asked her what the bump was to be called for a girl or boy. Friend said, if it's a girl, it will be called xxx'. Her MIL said, well, let's hope it's a boy then

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