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Why is he acting this way?

12 replies

Sophloraa · 22/07/2023 13:53

Hi all. I am looking for some advice please on a situation I am currently experiencing. I went on a couple of dates with a guy back in January/February of this year. We got on great, had a good time and did sleep together. After a couple of weeks he told me we should leave things there as he wasn’t in the headspace for a relationship and didn’t commit. A week later, he reached out and asked to see me again so I obliged thinking maybe he had regretted finishing things so promptly. Nope, he slept with me again and then ghosted me for over 2 months. I was really shocked by this behaviour as when with him in person he almost seemed infatuated or something, very attentive etc and affectionate. I then received a text at the end of April out of the blue from him asking how I was etc. He then once again asked if I wanted to meet up. I said sure but I was going on holiday and could he wait until I was back. He said that was fine (it was only a week). So I went on holiday, got back, messaged him to make plans and again for ghosted. So after this I decided to just try to move on. Now this week, after a further 3 months he text me again asking if I was up for meeting up. I replied saying yes, got no response. I sent another text the next day saying ‘when would you like to?’ Knowing it would be ignored as well and I was right! So I am now utterly confused as to why the guy who didn’t want me back in February has come back a couple of times to ask if I am up for meeting up and as soon as I say yes he then ghosts me and never follows through? What is this behaviour all about? Why bother texting me in the first place. It is now 6 mOnths since our first date.

OP posts:
Chenford · 22/07/2023 13:54

I honestly wouldn’t spend anytime trying to psychoanalyse this.

Block and move on.

neilyoungismyhero · 22/07/2023 13:57

Sounds like he just wants a FWB relationship when he wants it and you're complying - nothing wrong with that if you're on the same page but doesn't sound like you are.

Sophloraa · 22/07/2023 13:59

I’ve told him I’m fine with FWB. But my issue is, every time I say ‘yes’ to meeting up, he ghosts me and doesn’t follow through anyway? So what is the point?

OP posts:
Chenford · 22/07/2023 14:07

There isn’t any point.

As I said, block and move on. Go and find someone who understands what FWB means and is actually interested in that arrangement

Summer2424 · 22/07/2023 14:09

Hi @Sophloraa it's the ghosting bit which is so annoying. He's flakey and a time waster. You should ghost him hun xx

Summerhillsquare · 22/07/2023 15:54

You're his back up.

Bonbon21 · 22/07/2023 15:57

You're an easy shag at the end of the phone.... and he gets a better offer..
Sorry...

sazzaz1980 · 04/10/2023 23:16

Block him!

Elieza · 04/10/2023 23:18

You’re not his first choice. But you’ll do if nobody better comes along first. At which point he calls you. That’s why he sometimes does and sometimes doesn’t respond.

Block and move on retaining your dignity.

VeridicalVagabond · 04/10/2023 23:23

You're the back up plan if the main shag falls through.

Sorry.

Block and move on, nothing else to do.

Windmill34 · 04/10/2023 23:29

He’s probably married or lives with someone

CheshireCat1 · 04/10/2023 23:50

You don’t need him in your life, just ignore him.

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